Why am I so overweight? Help me to understand

[PomegranateVase]

I’m 3.5 stone overweight (over the top end of the ideal weight to height guidelines), but would be around 5 stone over the lowest end of the guidelines, and I’m a size 16-18.

I cook from scratch using fresh ingredients everyday, including lots of vegetables and broths. We typically eat lots of healthy Japanese food that I cook from scratch at least 3 times a week, and only eat meat, chicken or fish around 3-4 times per week.

5 days a week I do a 20 minute brisk walk.
Twice a week I walk for 2 hours at moderate speed.
3-4 times per month I walk for around 3 hours at moderate speed (so around 9-12 hours walking - in addition to the above).

I drink 2 cups of coffee daily with a little milk and 1 sugar, as well as 3-4 cups of tea with 1 sugar. I also drink sugar free squash, and only very occasionally treat myself to a sugar free fizzy drink.

I drink 1 or 2 bottles of wine per week, eat one share size crisps packet to myself, and eat a few biscuits.

A typical weekday looks like this:
•Avocado on 1 slice of sourdough toast with a coffee
•1 Nature Valley snack bar and a coffee
•Baxter’s carrot and butter bean soup with 1 slice sourdough toast and butter
•A couple of biscuits
•Homemade Japanese vegetable, tofu and noodle soup.
•3-4 cups of tea and squash.

My best friend is a size 14 and it as overweight as me. She drives everywhere and never walks and doesn’t do any form of exercise. She eats lots of processed foods daily, also takes sugar in her hot drinks, drinks the same amount of alcohol as me and eats 1 large fry up breakfast every week.

Another friend is a size 10-12 and eats lots of pasta and processed foods, drinks about the same amount of alcohol as me and walks probably about the same amount as me.

My thyroid is functioning normally.

I fail to understand how I’ve become so overweight by leading this lifestyle.

Please can you give me any advice or tips on how I can lose weight as I feel my diet is quite healthy already.

Could something be wrong with me medically if I am this overweight?

OP - I think with a few simple changes your diet can massively improve. At the moment you have a light lunch and dinner which probably aren’t very filling but feel healthy, but with all the biscuits and nature valley your blood sugars and probably all over the place.

First, ditch the nature valley. They are just biscuits and you’d be better off eating dark chocolate with some nuts which would taste nicer, feel more of a treat and be more satiating.

Second, increase good fats and protein for satiety. Maybe add an egg to your breakfast. For lunch, can you add more protein so that it is more filling so you’re less hungry later?

Third, walk longer and do some weights. Can you double the 20 min walk, or do it twice a day.

That's the difference between you and me.

Have you used a calculator to identify the calories someone of your age, height, sex and lifestyle requires? I did, and was shocked at how few it was. However, once I knew I understood the only way to lose weight was to eat fewer calories than that amount, and/or burn more by upping my excercise. On an inactive day, I burn as few as 1300 calories, so unless I'm eating like a bird, I'm going to gain weight.

Half the avocado,22g of fat in a full avocado 250 calories,ditch the wine,loads of sugar

Oh believe me, having read many of your posts on MN over time, I'm pleased to say there's a massive difference between you and I.

It’s the wine, crisps and biscuits. You can’t outrun a bad diet.

Agree with PP, document everything single thing you eat and drink for a week. Bear in mind that as you age, your maintenance calorie level will decrease. I am sixty and gain weight if I exceed 1300 a day

Your metabolism is broken and you are overloading on carbs (including the wine and unhealthy cereal snack bars). The sweeteners in the fizzy drinks actually increase hunger/cravings.

Overall you need to focus on protein every single meal, and eat the protein first. this will reduce how much you eat and how hungry you get. Aim for 100g of protein a day - I watched a video once in an NHS witing room where a doctor said that even an elderly retired lady needed 75g of protein a day. For snacks stick to nuts and berries.

Do not be afraid of good healthy fats like nuts and avocados, be afraid of carbs. If you went full keto eating mostly fat the weight would fall off, this shows that good dietary fat is not the enemy, same if you went full carnivore. But I suggest you have a more varied diet than those two more extreme examples. Aim for a low carb version of the mediterrean diet.

Step one: eat eggs every day for breakfast and cut out all sugar and flour.
Step two: cut out rice and all other grains.
Step three: cut out potatoes and vegetable oils (use avocado oil, coconut oil and olive oil).

If you want to try a supplement to help support fixing your blood sugar spikes try Berberine.

I've looked up your sugar calories from your daily tea/coffee =98 average a day x 7 =686 calories . A bottle of wine averages 600-650 calories , so at least 1200 calories.
So in your drinks you told us about tea/coffee/wine = 1886 calories , thats quite a lot .
Chuck in What you listed plus what you haven't ( the odd biscuit , a square or 6 of chocolate , cake etc it all adds up .

I'm currently just over 8 stone (used to be 3 stone heavier) and I maintain weight by double gym sessions 5 days a week, including heavy weights and eating well mon to Fri- with a little indulgence at the weekend. My TDEE even with moderate exercise is only 1800 cals.

We all need smaller portions than we think, esp of carbs and need to up the protein. I don't drink Mon to Fri (very little at the weekend & currently doing Dry Jan). People think that I don't eat a lot - it is really healthy - but I don't lose weight, only maintain it. If I eat more than usual at the weekend I gain a couple of kgs easily.

How I lost weight originally was by 5:2 intermittent fasting. I now bargain with myself over calories as it's an either / or most days - if I want a biscuit after my tea I can't have it for morning coffee as well. Make your food intake count & reduce the empty calories. I make healthy high-protein flapjack and cake using frozen bananas for sweetness.

Watch 'What Not to Eat' on C4 right now, it will really change your eating habits.

Cut down on carbs. And cut out the wine completely at least for a few weeks. I just watched that programme 'what not to eat' its an eye opener.

Wine crisps cereal bars and any nibbles you sub consciously have.
Portion sizes count massively.
Definitely need to walk alot more.
For example I rarely drink alcohol.Tea plate sized portions.Eat what I want including biscuits and crisps but I'm a 10/12. 9 stone 5.
I do do 62000 steps a week though.

I'm 59 hope this helps.

Frequent snacks, alcohol and artificial sweeteners in the squash will keep your insulin levels high which blocks fat burning and leads to insulin resistance long term.

Try to build in more fasting periods where you have just black coffee/tea or water and reduce your carb intake a bit by cutting out the snacks.

Agree your diet is too carb heavy Your 20 minute brisk daily walk would probably cancel out just one of your slices of sourdough toast in terms of calories, if you're lucky.

Perhaps have a look at restricted eating, only eat within a set number of hours, as well as looking at your diet. Dr Rangan Chatterjee's book on weight loss is very good for a healthy all round approach. He's got a new tv series too, which might be useful for you.

Squash has sugar in - can you swap to water..?
Do you have any sugar in tea / coffee?

Cut out the biscuits.

I agree it's tough though.

You aren't moving enough.......fwiw the only exercise I do is walking. But at a brisk pace that gets my heart rate up. I don't just meander along I make a point of going up big hills etc.

Currently 11.5 stone at 5ft 10 so not overweight although I'm aiming to lose 1stone so I have room to play with.

I'm losing around 1ib a week......I also eat carbs, sometimes I'll have bread 3 times a day. It doesn't affect my weight loss, that's all down to calories in vs calories out.

I just keep my portion sizes moderate and only snack on fruit in between. Eg yesterday I had

A bowl of porridge (( 45g oats, 1 pear chopped in, one banana, chia seeds and oat milk ))

Sardines on sourdough toast for lunch (( sardines in spring water ))

Went to the cinema in the afternoon and had a pack of fresh mango and 2 packs of mini breadsticks as a snack with a bottle of water.

Dinner was homemade pesto (( sumac, Olive oil, splash of water, basil, rocket, cashews and nutritional yeast )) with chicken, 75g of pasta, tenderstem broccoli and around 1/4 of a small baguette.

Had another pear and a small handful of nuts as a snack

Drank mainly water but also had around 4 cups of tea (( with one sugar )) the rest were camomile teas and 1 ginger tea.

I have bread every day when I'm in work for lunch, I have banana on toast with coconut and cashew butter and very often for dinner will have chicken salad in pitta bread or ciabatta with homemade wedges tossed in olive oil and steamed greens. It's my go to meal when I'm working late. I'm still losing weight.

I've battled with my weight for years and I've lost an absolute load of weight, I've cut out and tried allsorts of fad diets over the years and it's taught me that no food is the enemy, the trick is to not have treat foods daily. They're a treat for a reason, they shouldn't be the norm. (( I only have takeaways when I'm on annual leave. Sounds daft but works for me. ))

Watch your portion sizes, aim for slow release carbs and decent protein, not those faddy shakes. Oily fish at least once a week. Get your heart rate up, you should be walking at a pace that leaves you out of breath and eat bread if you want to within your meal times. The weight will come off.

Lots of good info here, can I just add that ‘sugar free’ usually means sweeteners and they mess with your metabolism.
Plus, it’s really not hard to give up sugar in tea, just takes a day or 2 to get used to the different (better!) taste.

Look at portion sizes. Cut back on wine and biscuits and start lifting weights. More muscle mass = higher calorie burn

@PomegranateVase
If your bmi is over 30 I would suggest having a chat with your GP; the NHS runs various weight management programmes which will help you understand how to work out a diet and exercise plan that works for you (including the need for "treats" - you're looking for sustainable change, not short term hardship!).

Well, like clearly they need reminding, as there are several posters telling OP to increase her protein comsumption AKA dead animals. TBF, I'm kind of triggered because fat colleague chowing down packetS of chicken from tesco at lunch, no veg, carbs, or fruit, just packet after packet in the quest for unneccessary protein, as this is the latest magic key to weight loss

If you are stressed then that won’t help.
I gained a lot of weight when I was teaching and once I left I lost weight without even trying.

Walking is amazing for stress so keep at it.
Try and go to bed early too as sleep is one of the best things for weight loss.

You don’t have a hugely unhealthy diet but if you’re eating too many calories then you’re going to put on weight/maintain.

If you have to snack then look at lower calorie alternatives like sugar free jelly, popcorn, ice pokes etc.
I base my meals with protein and veg being the main focus. I will always eat carbs because I enjoy them I just eat less of them.

I found I would do really well in the week and then on the weekend fall off and then wonder why I wasn’t losing weight.
Its important to track your calories all week.

If you end up having a massive takeaway or something - that’s absolutely fine and life is made for having a splurge.
But don’t let it make you feel guilty and get off track. Simply reduce your calorie limit by a couple hundred calories each day.

I would try and mix your wine with a lower calorie mixture.
E.g rose and diet lemonade, or vodka and Coke Zero.
Sometimes the act of drinking is just as relaxing as the effects.

The goal is to eat as much food as possible within your calorie limit.
You don’t want to starve yourself.

I always used to use sweeteners but the apparent link to cancer scared my family and I so we’ve been having sugar since.

But op, you drink sugar free squash which has the same sweeteners in! It's no more carcinogenic put into tea than in the squash?

Sorry but your decision making seems really illogical

Try and live on 40g of carbs a day with no wine for 6 weeks and tell us what happens after 6 weeks.

Exercise won't help you loose weight - there's about 80 studies out there that prove this.

Exercise will help with mood and will help with other things but it won't help loose weight. If anything it will make you hungry and help put on weight.

If you're triggered to the point of adding nothing but childishness to the OP's thread, there's a handy little 'X' you can hit which will close your screen.