Why am I so overweight? Help me to understand

[PomegranateVase]

I’m 3.5 stone overweight (over the top end of the ideal weight to height guidelines), but would be around 5 stone over the lowest end of the guidelines, and I’m a size 16-18.

I cook from scratch using fresh ingredients everyday, including lots of vegetables and broths. We typically eat lots of healthy Japanese food that I cook from scratch at least 3 times a week, and only eat meat, chicken or fish around 3-4 times per week.

5 days a week I do a 20 minute brisk walk.
Twice a week I walk for 2 hours at moderate speed.
3-4 times per month I walk for around 3 hours at moderate speed (so around 9-12 hours walking - in addition to the above).

I drink 2 cups of coffee daily with a little milk and 1 sugar, as well as 3-4 cups of tea with 1 sugar. I also drink sugar free squash, and only very occasionally treat myself to a sugar free fizzy drink.

I drink 1 or 2 bottles of wine per week, eat one share size crisps packet to myself, and eat a few biscuits.

A typical weekday looks like this:
•Avocado on 1 slice of sourdough toast with a coffee
•1 Nature Valley snack bar and a coffee
•Baxter’s carrot and butter bean soup with 1 slice sourdough toast and butter
•A couple of biscuits
•Homemade Japanese vegetable, tofu and noodle soup.
•3-4 cups of tea and squash.

My best friend is a size 14 and it as overweight as me. She drives everywhere and never walks and doesn’t do any form of exercise. She eats lots of processed foods daily, also takes sugar in her hot drinks, drinks the same amount of alcohol as me and eats 1 large fry up breakfast every week.

Another friend is a size 10-12 and eats lots of pasta and processed foods, drinks about the same amount of alcohol as me and walks probably about the same amount as me.

My thyroid is functioning normally.

I fail to understand how I’ve become so overweight by leading this lifestyle.

Please can you give me any advice or tips on how I can lose weight as I feel my diet is quite healthy already.

Could something be wrong with me medically if I am this overweight?

Watch it with nuts. 8 almonds is the same calories as a biscuit

No sugar substitutes are good, even so called natural ones. OP needs to reduce slowly and her palate will adjust to get used to not having it. Putting sweeteners in just tricks your body into thinking it is having sugar and so you will crave more. Plus is disrupts your microbiome. I used to use Stevia but stopped after reading some of the negative reports about it.

I'm not going to say anything anyone else hasn't said, probably, but do look at increasing your exercise. Working out with weights will give you a higher resting metabolism once you've grown your muscles, and to grow them, you definitely eat more protein - at present you're framing your modest protein consumption as a good thing.
You also need to get your heart rate up, so you could maybe look at a couch to 5k or something there. You'll get a great buzz from that.
I find that exercising helps control my appetite - the hunger I get from it is genuine hunger not a desire to snack and overeat.

Definitely too much sugar and too many refined carbs, and sugar and alcohol will actually stimulate your appetite to want to eat more.

If you don't fancy or don't have time to join a gym, look at Caroline Girvan on youtube for instance.

You're doing the right thing tweaking your diet rather than "going on a diet".

Yes, this is exactly right.

You know that you're not "greedy", so it seems "unfair" that you are overweight. A couple of minor tweaks to remove the excess calories will work, once you have determined your allowance online, or capped yourself at a reasonable rate. I personally chose 2000kcals, as the online suggestions were too low for biscuits!

I lost 3 stone, by simply sticking to 2000 calories per day and doing moderate exercise (walking the dog, as usual). I simply tracked everything I ate and stuck to 2000kcals per day. I think this is the best way for you, as your diet does not need a massive overhaul

That's all you need to do. You will have to decide where the calories need to be cut. Like PP, I suggest the cereal bar. I also think that butter is your enemy, so this could go. You should eat more fruit and veg for good health, as I think you're a bit low on these.

It's all adding up. 2 coffees and 3-4 teas with sugar- one teaspoon of sugar is 16 cals, and depending on how much milk you have (I have about 100ml milk and I drink skimmed Jersey milk which is 50cals per 100ml), thats 96 cals in sugar and 300 cals in milk (approx) just over your hot drinks daily alone.

That’s a lot of food already. Also healthy, from scratch etc… are somewhat subjective.

probably not enough exercise, if it doesn’t raise your HR it’s great for overall fitness but won’t burn that may calories. Also, to exercise the equivalent of a diet you’d have to run around 10k every day.

It’s generally a case of calories in v calories out, although some people have a tendency to put on weight/carry extra weight than others. I’ve noticed a massive shift since hitting menopause as well. At one time if I cut down on snacks the weight would drop off easily, now it definitely doesn’t and requires a lot of effort.

If you do a sedentary job and that twenty minute walk is all you do all day exercise wise, that’s not very much.

Have you tried using Myfitnesspal or something similar, to track your actual calories daily? You might be surprised how many you consume - butter on your toast, avocado whilst good for you is calorific, is it really only a couple of biscuits?

Track your exercise and calories for a month and I bet you’ll lose weight.

You shouldn’t be outraged. It’s nothing to do with you. You’re just contributing to an internet forum.

you post like someone with an embedded disordered attitude to weight and diet.

Hi OP I have had a good read if your post and here is my feedback.

5 days a week 20 minutes walking is very little exercise. I doubt your even getting 6k steps a day in. The recommended minimum amount is 10k steps a day. If its walking on the flat its not cardio either which we all need a bit off. The twice a week 2 hour walk is good.

You are taking in a lot of extra calories from sugar in tea and coffee. I like 2 sugars in my morning coffee (bad habit I know) but use the mixed sugar/sweetner for it. I also really limit my coffee intake.

1 to 2 bottles of wine is quite a lot of calories ( no judgment here i enjoy a glass of red wine). A large bag of crisps is called a family size bag because its enough for a family to share. We eat a family pack once a week. We are a family of 5 and share it. Fat and calories are huge in crisps.

Avocados although healthy are high fat and contain quite a lot of calories. Sour dough bread has about 150 calories a slice. I watched a video recently about the difference in calories for breakfast. Someone had the same breakfast as you do and it was double the calories of strawberries, blueberries and sour dough toast with a small bit of butter.

Snack bars can be high in fat and calories ao better to have some fruit instead.

Cans of soup generally are full of salt and processed stuff. Some can be higher calories. Home made soup is much healthier and far more filling.

2 biscuits every day could easily be adding 300 calories a day which is 2100 calories a week. Personally I would cut them out. If you have a larger healthier low calorie lunch you shouldn't be hungry.

Dinner sounds good.

The fry up weekly is fine but grill it dont fry it. Cut the fat of the bacon, buy low fat sausages, fill up on baked beans, eggs for protein etc rather than toast etc.

Watch your portion size. Meals based on protein are far more filling than carbohydrates. Protein should be a third of your plate,veg a very minimum of a 3rd of your plate and other stuff the rest. Eating from smaller plates helps.

If you want to shift pounds get yourself a step watch and aim for about 12k steps a day. They can be fitted into your life. I do a minimum of 13k a day or weight training so burn 500 calories a day. I have to do this as I enjoy a glass of wine at the weekend and chocolate.

Try removing sugar from coffee - you get used to it without very quickly.

Squash - why?! It isn't even nice!

Alcohol encourages us to snack, and is bad for our sleep and energy levels. Sobriety is liberating as well as helping us to save money and lose weight - strong recommend!

Have you used chat gpt before? Because this is nothing like a chat gpt response.
although I know it’s become school girl cool on Mn to accuse people of using chat gpt, you’ve missed the mark this time and it just looks cringe.

pop it into chat hot and test it.

Having read some of the suggestions while I was typing: please do not increase your consumption of animals that have been farmed and killed inan unpleasant way in your pursuit of excessive protein. You need a piece of dead animal the size of a pack of cards per day. That will do. No need to go on a killing spree, or increase your carbon footprint.

Anything else is just more dead animals and more work for your kidneys, as they work harder so you can piss out the excess.

I love this.

I’m coming to the same realisation. I’m 52 (nearly) and I don’t eat terribly but basically if I lm not being ridiculously careful all of the time, I put on weight (and it’s much harder to lose).

I’m during dry January at the moment and trying to lose some weight and am fairly motivated. But eventually I’m probably going to swap one healthy meal a week for wine and crisps on the sofa and I will be ok with this.

Give up the sugar, empty calories and just put a bit less of the healthy ingredients on your plate. It's just too much food not the quality of it. And keep the crisps and biscuits down as much as possible.

I think your posts are so interesting. It's really helping me understand my own attitudes towards food. I think the mistake is seeing food as "healthy" and so completely fine to eat and "treats". I also do this and it's not helpful.

Yes certain food are laden with sugar/salt/fat and should be either avoided or in small quantities. But I'd also add in the sugar free squash etc here. Might not be laden in sugar, but I distrust these sweeteners entirely.

The sourdough is not "unhealthy" as say a sliced pan perhaps but it's still a crab which is readily converted to sugar in your body. So it's not a case of eat as much as you like and you won't put on weight.

I am trying (!) to get to a place of prioritizing health. For me, getting a garmin watch has really helpede keep track of how my body is doing. The stress number in particular. And I am trying to see food as fuel. I am trying to think through the calories I consume per day in terms of what will fuel my body best, give me everything I need in terms of nutrients, and keep me a healthy weight.

After a life time of "treating" myself with food and alcohol and punishing myself with hunger and exercise, I am trying to get out of that mindset.

You need to exercise. Walking is a part of everyday life and you need to do some physical exercise. Cut out the biscuits and juice, add an egg for breakfast. It’s simple, calories in v’s calories out. Exercise burns calories. Good luck OP

Wine, avocado, sourdough, nature valley, bars, sugar in the drinks, all more calorific than you might expect. Your portions could be very large. Weigh everything and count the calories, you might find your consuming a lot more than you should.

Portions and no business snacking when you move little. Age, genes, hormones make some people have to work double hard which makes them more disciplined. Win win anyway. Enjoy the hard work!!

Love the dramatic language there.

Just what this thread needs as it was lacking mild entertainment.

I can imagine you in a carvery: "Excuse me, what fine selection of dead animals do you have on offer young man?" 🤣🤣

We don't know we are healthy though.

I'm overweight, but don't look it.

I eat healthy, home cooked meals. I rarely drink, not had a drink since new years and then it was only two glasses of wine.

I rarely eat biscuits (don't buy them), don't eat chocolate bars, don't drink fizzy drinks.

I know what a carb is, I know what protein is and how to get it. I eat a good variety of foods.

I don't do much exercise. But I walk quite a bit and don't get out of breath doing much.

But I've recently been diagnosed with extremely fatty liver, high lipid count and an anomalous high ferretin count. I'm apparently at high risk of congestive heart failure, stroke and diabetes. So, I might be OK on the outside but obviously not on the inside! I got the tests for an unrelated reason and this outcome was a surprise. I'm 57.

(Currently cutting down to try to reverse some of this)

It will be:
the wine
the crisps
the squash
the Nature Valley snack bar
and the biscuits.

Could it be portion size?
I was convinced I wasn't over-eating, subscribed to gousto as I loathe cooking and lost 2 stone. And the meals I select are good but not super healthy- cheese, meat, chips involved as well as veg (have teens to please so can't eat crazy healthy!)
Seriously, for me it was organisation around food, omitting grazing and, most importantly, portion size.
Exercise obviously helps in general but not so much with weight loss; I started exercising after I'd lost the weight. Exercise very important for overall health but weight loss itself, you have to eat less.

It's not so much what you eat but the quantity. You need to be in a calorie deficit and move more. Thing alike when you cook do you use oil? That could easily be adding a few hundred calories to every meal.

You're eating too many calories. Find out your tdee and set yourself the correct allowance. Then count the calories - myfitnesspal or nutracheck are both fine. I prefer nutracheck.
It would be better if you ate more protein, ate less sugary junk and drank less wine. But none of that will magically make you lose weight if you're still eating too many calories.

How big are the sourdough slices?

Thin 'sliced bread' sized - or doorsteps cut off a loaf?

Try swapping your breakfast toast for Greek yog and berries and oats or other sugar-free grains.

Ditch the morning cereal bar. Have a raw carrot instead.

Lunch: add some salad leaves and stuff like pepper slices or radishes, kimchi, or a satsuma

Ditch the biscuits - maybe one of the small multipacks of salt popcorn? (do not open a big bag!!)

Ditch the sharing bag of crisps. Little cornichons (in a jar from lidl) make a good nibble type snack.

Halve the wine.

See how you get on?