Why am I so overweight? Help me to understand

[PomegranateVase]

I’m 3.5 stone overweight (over the top end of the ideal weight to height guidelines), but would be around 5 stone over the lowest end of the guidelines, and I’m a size 16-18.

I cook from scratch using fresh ingredients everyday, including lots of vegetables and broths. We typically eat lots of healthy Japanese food that I cook from scratch at least 3 times a week, and only eat meat, chicken or fish around 3-4 times per week.

5 days a week I do a 20 minute brisk walk.
Twice a week I walk for 2 hours at moderate speed.
3-4 times per month I walk for around 3 hours at moderate speed (so around 9-12 hours walking - in addition to the above).

I drink 2 cups of coffee daily with a little milk and 1 sugar, as well as 3-4 cups of tea with 1 sugar. I also drink sugar free squash, and only very occasionally treat myself to a sugar free fizzy drink.

I drink 1 or 2 bottles of wine per week, eat one share size crisps packet to myself, and eat a few biscuits.

A typical weekday looks like this:
•Avocado on 1 slice of sourdough toast with a coffee
•1 Nature Valley snack bar and a coffee
•Baxter’s carrot and butter bean soup with 1 slice sourdough toast and butter
•A couple of biscuits
•Homemade Japanese vegetable, tofu and noodle soup.
•3-4 cups of tea and squash.

My best friend is a size 14 and it as overweight as me. She drives everywhere and never walks and doesn’t do any form of exercise. She eats lots of processed foods daily, also takes sugar in her hot drinks, drinks the same amount of alcohol as me and eats 1 large fry up breakfast every week.

Another friend is a size 10-12 and eats lots of pasta and processed foods, drinks about the same amount of alcohol as me and walks probably about the same amount as me.

My thyroid is functioning normally.

I fail to understand how I’ve become so overweight by leading this lifestyle.

Please can you give me any advice or tips on how I can lose weight as I feel my diet is quite healthy already.

Could something be wrong with me medically if I am this overweight?

Yes they do lead to issues around insulin resistance and fat storage at lower thresholds BUT they don’t change the fundamental laws of thermodynamics.

OP is consuming more energy than her body is expending.

If that’s genuinely true then there’s something wrong with your metabolism.

The OP’s diet is healthy/normal.

It's not. It looks low in veg and protein.

I think it’s the wine and biscuits over a period of years. Once it creeps up you need to make more drastic changes if you want it to go down quickly.

I think if you were to really cut down on wine and limit it to one or two glasses a week and also cut down the biscuits you’d slowly see a difference.

Have a look at Slimpod. It will help you make improvements to your sleep, what you eat, portion control, emotional eating, stress levels and exercise levels. I have lost 11kg without dieting or calorie counting in the past year and a bit - sustaining healthier habits without relying on willpower, and I’m early 50s when the hormones picture will be getting more tricky. It’s not fast but I think it’s going to be sustainable.

I just read the bit where you said you have a very stressful and senior job and need the wine and snacks to treat yourself.

That does sound stressful. You need a reset without the stress that gives you a chance not to reach for the snacks. As your job is senior, can you afford to take a holiday just for you to have a healthy reset? Book somewhere with a nice beach resort like Thailand where you will have the opportunity to eat healthy food each day without the snacks and do healthy activities like swim in the sea or rent a bike and cycle around the resort.

Then when you get back try and have healthy alternative ways to treat yourself like a massage, or doing a meditation. With such a stressful job that is probably going to be quite hard to switch to without going back to old habits, which is why I mention a holiday to help change things up with your mindset.

Eat only 3 meals a day, spaced every 4 or so hours - example -
— breakfast at 10 - 2 boiled eggs or scrambled eggs, handful of nuts.
— lunch at 2 - sliced chicken or salmon or tinned oily fish (I buy from the Co Op), with some salad leaves, half an avocado, sliced tomatoes,
sometimes roasted bell peppers, a splash of olive oil.
— dinner - I have a 5/6 hour fast here, so around 7.30, something like Chicken breast, sea bass, lamb chop (today DH will have a rack of lamb), roasted sweet potato chips, shredded white cabbage tossed in butter. No carbs in the evening.

Also, no evening snacks, consider the time from your last meal, until your 10 o clock breakfast a 14 hour fast.

I drink lots of water in between. My DH and I drink wine every evening. I have lost the 3 kilos that I have wanted to shift for a long time but couldn’t and it has stayed off.

I am 59, on HRT, I do some gentle yoga, 2 kg dumbbells, 6 kg kettle bell and resistance bands at home and walk the dog. I feel so much better in myself now, more like my old self.

Far too many calories in that lot

Drop the wine & sugar.
Make soup for lunxh yourself.
Ditch the snack bars, biscuits & crisps.
Track your calories, make sure you hit protein & fibre goals.
Try more exercise if you can too.

Track your calories for a week. Include everything. See if the answer is there.

It's simply a matter of calories in being higher than the calories you are burning. You need to eat less and move more. And I'm saying this as someone who has battled their whole life with weight issues. You need to weigh and track everything that goes in your mouth. You will be surprised!

I have an older colleague who had a medical condition - triglyceride levels were high and she was put on a low fat diet, this is not a Sweetener diet, this is literally low fat so even food like Avocado had to go, definitely nuts as too fatty, the weight dropped of her to the point of being probably too thin.

If you go on a TDEE calculator and work out what your daily calories should be and track everything you eat every day you will likely find that you are eating way more calories than you burn each day. The first thing I would do is cut the wine. Its just empty calories. Second look at your portion size. I dont drink alcohol and am not a snacker but I was still putting on weight. Weighing all my food made me realise my portion sizes for lots of things were double what they should be. I am 5ft7 and have an office job so am sat on my arse most days. I am 11.5 stone and want to lose around a stone. My daily calories to lose between 1 and 2 lb a week are 1200. If I do exercise then I earn more calories. Walking on a flat at a normal pace burns hardly any calories so I walk on a treadmill at an incline and can burn 400 in 30 minutes. You might need to do more intense exercise too. Some people are just lucky and stay thin despite what they eat. Most of us arent.

Haven't read all the comments but it sounds like you are eating far too many calories. Figure out your TDEE and deduct 500 calories and then record every calorie you eat. I mean every calorie including alcohol and measure food too. Do not guess. I have lost 4 stone in the past year and me eating healthy was healthy but too many calories for my height. Good Luck

I am within normal weight range. BMI 23-24.
My week looks like this:
Exercise: 3x gym, 3-4 runs (6 miles, intervals, parkrun, long run). Sedentary job.
Food: 1700 calories a day roughly. I watch protein quite carefully. I don't drink alcohol very often (haven't had any since Christmas day). No sugary drinks.

You drink a lot of teaspoons of sugar, have a lot of sugar in wine. And a lot of carbs.

A pound of fat, I believe, is around 3500 calories. You probably over consume.

You are eating too much. I get that it feels you are eating “healthily” but I bet you are over the amount of calories you need for the day. I just had this realisation after thinking I was eating well for many years, and lost two stone. We need a lot less food and much smaller portions than society (marketing!) has led us to believe. You need to be in a calorie deficit.

Because you eat more calories than you use. Without knowing your height, age and weight I couldn’t suggest a TDEE for you but your activity levels are low so your TDEE wouldn’t be anything over the sedentary level for your height I’d imagine. Whilst you think your diet is healthy it evidently contains more calories than your body needs. You need to use a calorie counting app and work them out, by weighing everything you consume including things like sauces and oils used to cook food. You’d be surprised at where you’re overeating. I used to think I didn’t eat a lot and couldn’t believe I’d ended up size I was until I started calorie counting and seeing how much I was actually consuming. That was nearly 5 years ago - I started tracking calories and exercising and lost 8 stone in just over 15 months which I’ve kept off since. Best wishes x

Calorie count its the only way. Switch to g&t it's less than wine

Wine is empty calories. If your going to drink then have a spirit with a diet mixer. You don't need a share bag of crisps every week either. Cereal bars have hidden sugar too. Biscuits are easily 80 calories each. There's a lot of calories you haven't considered.

This. Wine is empty calories, and once you’ve had a glass or to it is likely you snack without thinking as well.

Use an app like MyFitnessPal to track your food for a couple of weeks, if you are regularly eating more than about 2000 calories per day then you will slowly gain weight.

I think limit your processed snacks to perhaps a nature valley bar OR a couple of biscuits. Have a banana, apple or boiled egg instead?

It's really tough I know, but lots of little small changes deffo makes it easier....

You’re consuming too many calories that’s the long and short of it. It’s unlikely there’s anything wrong with you especially after describing what you’re eating and drinking. Aim for 1400 calories then 1200 once your body’s used to 1400 and ditch the alcohol!!!

It’s hard isn’t it. I’d always been overweight but I’ve lost 9 stone (half my body weight) and gone from a size 22 to a 10 in the past 2 years. I always thought I was a pretty healthy eater as I cooked everything from scratch too (was a chef) but I started on keto from worrying about blood sugar. My mum became diabetic at my age so I thought I should make some changes. Learning about how carbs process in the system changed everything for me. Once I stopped eating sugar and bread etc I didn’t get cravings and just wasn’t hungry most of the time. I cut out all simple carbs and focused on protein and fat and the weight fell off. All those years of calorie counting that I pointlessly did. I’m not keto any more but I feel like I’ll stay low carb forever. I feel 1000x better. I eat full fat, no ‘diet’ foods and I’ve also had a nightly glass of red wine throughout. A typical days eating for me is 2 poached eggs with avocado and chilli oil. I have a little seeded sourdough now I’m low carb. Lunch is a bowl of tuna with cucumber, red onion, sauerkraut with some mayo and cottage cheese mixed in. Dinner would be some kind of meat with a creamy sauce and vegetables (not potato). If I need a snack which is rare I’ll have a small piece of cheese or a handful of nuts. Very few carbs needed, it’s all just habitual having plates full of pasta/rice/bread/potatoes. We overeat so much without even realising it. Good luck!!

Walk more. Don ‘t eat breakfast and avoid sugary drinks. Don’t worry about the wine. I am 60, follow this and am slim and fit despite eating sweets and biscuits, I walk 60 miles a week.