What would make a man a failure in life? What’s your opinion?

[Benny91]

Would it be someone in a low skilled job all their life? Never married or had kids? Also would it be someone with no friends and no hobbies? Or perhaps still living at home with their parents?

What is your thoughts?

Do you get out much?

Separate question for a separate thread

Simply someone who doesn’t try every day to do their best. Actions not words.

And someone who doesn’t have an innate, independent sense of what’s right and wrong.

I wouldn't say a low skilled job makes a man a failure in itself, although I wouldn't chose that for myself.

A lot of jobs are low skilled... like postmen, shelf stackers, They can still be good people with a kind heart, a good partner and very responsible.

There's more to someone than their skill. Many people don't have great role models or come from a background to do better.

Lack of effort
laziness
Not wanting to explore, learn, see the world.
being content to just rot

finances and status have nothing to do with it.

To study and explore the world a bit more. I felt trapped by the idea of “settling down” to what to me seemed so mundane. No reflection on any one who wanted a caravan, but it certainly wasn’t me at that age!

Absent father/won't pay maintenance

Men who abuse women

Men who can't drive

Whoa! I was a SAHM while the kids were small but I knew we were lucky and it was DH’s choice of work (banking) that allowed that but I wouldn’t consider a man who couldn’t provide that a failure if he was working at a less well paid job.

Anyone violent to children /animals/fellow humans. Male or female.

To me, and this goes to anyone, male or female, it's someone who doesn't take the opportunities presented to them in life to fulfil the goals they have. Everyone has a different starting point and different goals, but when I see someone openly reject a chance to work towards their own goals, because of their ego or laziness, I think that's failure. Or someone who has no goal other than to sponge off others and do the bare minimum in life. Usually others suffer as a result.

Definitely dead beat dads. Those that abandon and refuse to help their own children and leave the mum to deal with everything alone.

A man who does not contribute. Has the expectations of a king but the input of a toddler.

Male or female - an addict who stays addicted until they die.

My sister married an electrician. A few of her friends thought she was 'marrying down' as she was a degree and MBA educated high flying woman in the city. He is one of the kindest, funniest, hard working, engaged father and all round lovely person out there.

1. Laziness. I cannot stand men who are lazy AF and sit at home smoking weed or lounging around all day and not working and then act bitter and jealous when their peers who have worked really hard manage to achieve their life goals. It's your own fault your life sucks.
2. Not paying maintenance for their children or spending any time with them
3. Being abusive, misogynistic and disrespectful
4. Lack of personal hygiene. Why on earth would any woman want to touch you when you haven't washed yourself for ages
5. Drunkards who like to hang out propping up the bar with their laddish friends every night making boorish small talk and lame jokes
6. Men obsessed with sports. I like some sport myself but men who want to organise their wedding/birth of their children around the FA cup are pathetic
7. Coke heads. Nothing more unattractive than a coke head whom thinks he is God's gift to women
8. Men who have long nails. Men who bite their nails down to nubs

There are loads more but this is just the start 😉

Someone who was unkind, racist, violent, anti social or similar. Or someone who evaded responsibility to their children. I think that's the sort of general area.

i don’t give a crap what job a man does as long as he’s kind, not aggressive, hard working and so on. And if he does have kids, is a good dad to them.

He could honestly work on the bins for all I care.

Dh worked in factories all his life. He was a brilliant, hardworking and intelligent man who was a great dad.

My eldest dc father has 2 degrees and a Masters, yet was a cheat and a liar and not the greatest father once ours grew up

So who, out of the two of them, is the failure?? 🤷‍♀️

OP, you have posted a few threads in a similar theme. It does sound like you have low self esteem, and are looking for proof at how much of a loser you are (you are not one, by the way).

Did you explore the world & did he get a caravan?

Not to mention that many women would not go for being the kept little woman these days.

You're conflating two things. Women are allowed boundaries and choices. Doesn't make the man they aren't choosing a failure.

Women don't actually have to date anyone. I can only date 6' men earning 100k or only blue eyed men or only men who can cook. Doesn't make other men losers or failures.

There's a weird misogyny to it all.

I think it really depends. If he doesn't want the responsibility of a wife or a family and he choses to be single and do his own thing then that's fine, he isn't a loser. If he promises a woman partnership, fidelity or starts a family and then fails to follow though then he's a loser. So I think it's making false promises and lack of integrity that would make a man a failure.

There is a lot of talk of ‘high status’ men and ‘low status’ men but I think misogyny and arrogance are the big neon signs (plus klaxons) of inadequacy in men. They’re basically puffed up spoiled little boys who still need mummy to wipe their arse, cook their dinner and coo over them what a big boy they are.

I’d rather spend a lifetime with any man who was family orientated, respected women and was domestically competent than some arrogant sexist dick with a trust fund.

Someone who made the world a worse place because they were in it.
So selfish, cruel, unkind etc.