What would make a man a failure in life? What’s your opinion?

[Benny91]

Would it be someone in a low skilled job all their life? Never married or had kids? Also would it be someone with no friends and no hobbies? Or perhaps still living at home with their parents?

What is your thoughts?

what was your ambition at 18?

Someone who has never made any effort at all, at anything

This would actually be attractive for me.

I think fulfilment comes in many shapes and forms and is entirely personal. I'm sure to some people me with my zero children, zero qualifications, completely median salary and no desire to advance my career, 15 year old car and mostly indoor hobbies would be seen as a complete failure. But I'm very happy and content in my life.

For me personally, anyone (man or woman) who was chronically unhappy with their lot, constantly moaning about everything, but unwilling to do anything to make changes would be a failure. Why waste your one life hating it and everything around you?

Difficult to say really. Many people (women as well as men) are in a position where their life has become a disaster through no fault of their own, and their 'failure' is a result of that.

I don't think anyone should judge others in this way.

Some one of who didn't go over and above the minimum on child support. Both my baby-daddies pay be more than they need to so that the kids and I can live comfortably.

If he was unemployed and couldn’t drive.

Got little to do with the usual outward trappings of success for me. It’s more about attitude.
Being abusive or generally violent - instant fail.
Fathering children and then failing to invest time, effort and money into them - instant fail.
Nasty bigot (choose your isms of choice) - instant fail.
Sitting at home smoking weed all day playing computer games rather than working - instant fail.

This!

Attitude also
never tries to improve their lot and just relies on others
nasty person

so living at home with a low paid job- fine - indeed i married such as chap

living at home, not pulling their weight around the home , not working , and spending mums moment would be a fail

Living with parents.
Not seeing or contributing to children.
Not working.

Still living with mummy and daddy past the age of 30.

Even worse if they're doing nothing and just sponging off the state.

I actually know a couple of men like this, who claim "anxiety". I'm sorry, but get medicated and grow up.

Not working hard to support his children.

Someone who's never found any meaning, purpose or passion in life. And deflects all that unspent energy onto fucking pointless distractions and just stagnating.

A man who hates his six-figure job and spends his free time dissociating by doom scrolling and shagging about, is more of a failure at life than a man on benefits who leaps out of bed each day because he is driven to go and do his volunteering, or tend his allotment, or go trainspotting, or whatever.

One who was unable to show empathy with the struggles that other people have in life eg being low in confidence or being unable to make friends easily. One who couldn’t understand that for some people going for the next promotion isn’t the be all of life for everyone. I have the same view of women who lack this empathy too.

I think you can be any of these individually and be living a good happy life.

• low skilled job all their life very happy with wife kids and good friends
• Never married or had kids but livong a fulfilled life with hobbies / interests and friends
• someone with no close friends but close with their family wife and kids
• Someone with no hobbies who gets fulfilment through work and friends/ families
• living at home with their parents because it suits them and living a happy good life travelling or pursuing a hobby they are passionate about...

None of these are losers IMO

If someone is all 5 they are likely struggling with modern life.

Losers in my opinion are the ones who dont value what they have a fuck it all away (cheaters, gamblers, parents who dont value their children, who chase money at the cost of relationships) or who throw away opportunities or their talents.

Living at home with parents at 40 doesn't make you a failure, but the reason you're living there might. If you tried and failed at something and had to move home for financial reasons, fair play - whether that's trying or failing at business, or trying and failing to make a relationship work. If you never tried at all - saw not reason to live independently, or fucked up your own relationship - that's a failure I suppose.

If a man doesn't have friends or hobbies but understands why they are important to his partner and fills his time productively in other ways, he's not a failure. If he lies around all day getting depressed without doing a thing about it, and is an energy vampire when it comes to his partner - he's a failure.

'Being successful' depends on your measure of success, and mine isn't financial. Being low paid doesn't make you a failure.

My red flags over and above violence, racism, intolerance and the like are selfishness - a man who puts his needs above everyone else's every time - and laziness. I personally cannot stand a man that lacks ambition - but it doesn't mean he's a failure. Just not an energy I can vibe with.

The only out and out unambiguous failure I can immediately think of is not showing up for your kids - not seeing them, weaselling your way out of paying maintenance. Everything else is either a character flaw, a crime or depends on the circumstances, not a failing as a 'man'.

My ex is a failure on all counts. He expected a wonderful life without any effort. He called hard working people "sheep" even though through the hard work they had material things he wanted. He never paid child maintenance. He used people. He is now broke and alone.

My bf's relative is a failure. Not by not having any kind of life (still lives at home at 50, never had a relationship, no friends, no hobbies, never been on holiday, has never thought about the future) but by constantly having excuses to not have a life. But he thinks he knows everything. Now his parents are ageing and he should be paying them back with care after being looked after his whole life he is not.

There's many illnesses and conditions that can impact people's lives so they can't work but still have enormous resilience every day and rarely complain.

In answer to OP what makes someone a failure is being abusive towards other people.

A Man who was needy. Who was always waiting for somebody to come save him. Who never understood nobody was stopping him.

He’d be a failure if he got a job, married, had kids, etc just to meet societal expectations. A man who does things just to attract women are usually losers.

A mummy's boy.

(And no, I dont mean a man with a healthy and loving relationship with his parents)

So only very very high earners?!

WTF!?

And why not.....😆
This thread is difficult to find the (right) answer, because everyone is different.
Vast majority of men are failures, in my own eyes, for many reasons.

Wow. You would consider that a failure.

So a teacher in London/SE would likely be a failure to you. As you’d need a minimum of £60k there are a whole host of jobs that require qualifications that would result in a man being a failure in your mind