Stupid things you used to say at school

[SushiSheep]

Don't even know why this popped into my head just now, but did anyone else use to say (I'm turning myself inside out just writing this! 😂)
"Marry it/her/him then!" whenever someone said they loved something.

What other cringey things did you use to say at school, or in your youth that makes you think what the......

There was a time when some of the boys would faux-innocently ask other boys "Were you born with happiness?"

Then, if the answer was "No," "I don't know" or (far more frequently) "Eh?", they would point and giggle "Hahaha, you weren't born with a penis!!!!! You must be a girl!!!!!"

I'm not at all convinced that Ken Dodd didn't deliberately use a variant of the same gag in his signature tune, to be honest!

‘Trunky want a bun?’ With an arm dangled in front of the face like an elephant’s trunk. Said to anyone considered nosey (looking at or listening to interactions they weren’t part of!)

Google will only give me 'Mary Mary quite contrary'... must be pretty rude... 😊

We also used to play the Please Mr crocodile, can I cross your water? (Only if you're wearing pink knickers...!) game.

And some random clapping games-I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread, they wrapped it up in a 5 pound note and this is what they said said said. There was another one with odd words-Om Pom pay ??

Another one was…

Im telling on you
because you jumped in a pond
and you kissed James Bond 😂

I went to a Chinese restaurant
To buy a loaf of bread bread bread
They wrapped it up in a five pound note
And this is what they said said said
My name is Elvis Presley
Girls are sexy
Sitting in the backseat drinking pepsi
Had a baby
Named it Daisy
And that's what it's all about
Ra ra ra.

We had a clapping rhyme

Eeny meenie acker acker
Air eye dominacker
Chickerbocker
Lollypopper
Om pom push

No idea where it came from. Possible origins in another language?

Chinese ,Japanese look at these boobies ..

Milk, milk lemonade round the corner chocolate’s made …

We had chinny reckon too.

And making a circle with your finger pointing at your head to imply someone was stupid.

We also used the term "That's Irish" to mean something didn't make sense. I think that did die out towards the end of my school time.

The word we used a lot was "twat" which wasn't considered offensive at all. Jokey insult really you'd use on your mates. Calling someone a "twit" was far more insulting.
"Stop twatting about" = Stop messing about
"Stop being a twat" = someone messing about and being silly when you needed to get on
"He twatted him" = He hit him

We also used the greeting "yo" a lot.

"Look up, look down, your pants are falling down"

"Tie me up and call me mother Willy" = expression of surprise / I don't believe you

"As the sergeant major said to the general" = tall story

Pretty please with cherries on...

Whassup/Whazzup or however you spell it. It's not just today's kids with their 6/7 who are annoying. When WhatsApp came out nearly 2 decades ago, it always came to mind. Showing my age, I know.

All brown and move the palm of your hand over your mouth and finish with tisht sound.
It meant you're speaking shit.
Took the teachers a while to catch on if you done it to them.

Like an eeny meeny for choosing / eliminating -

Iggy oggy
Dog's body
Inside OUT

That reminds me: how excited a lot of the kids were when they learned the German word for 'table' as (to them) it was close enough to 'shit' backwards. We went through quite a stage when people would describe things as 'Tisch', so that they reckoned they could deny all rude intent by insisting to the teacher "But it's just the German word for table!"

And as for when the same kids learned the German word for 'fox' - also a common German surname...!

I remember that. Did it come from a tv programme? (American?).

Budweiser beer advert perhaps?

We did so many of these! But when crossing fingers we said ‘barsies’.

When I was at school the worst thing you could call someone was a ‘binner’, the implication being I think that you got your clothes out of a bin, ate out of a bin, lived in a bin etc.
That and ‘frigid’, ‘boffin’ and ‘lesbian’.

We used call lesbians "lemons" - never knew why 🤷‍♀️

Do children still put their feet in a circle to do the ibble dibble or eeny meeny to work out who’s not ‘it’?

Same here. Rural Scotland?

@Mochudubh No! Just north of London, so quite a way away from you!
Do you know why? I’ve never really thought about it until now.

We used to call lesbians Lizzies so thought it was hilarious when we got a new girl from England who was called Lizzie 🙄

NE Scotland in the 60s

"Bumming" for when you quite like something.
Me and DP have recently reinvigorated it, its great fun.

For example: I like a yoghurt after lunch every day. Ergo, I bum yoghurt.
DP's favourite vegetable is peas. Ergo, he bums peas.

70s Ne Scotland erm it meant something waay,waay different.