Do you keep special dates free in anticipation of celebrating?

[Poppins2016]

Just curious about the norm for other people.

My diary is marked with the birthdays of my parents, siblings and close friends. I automatically keep those dates clear in order to be available to celebrate and if something comes up that might clash before a plan has been made, I check in about the plan (e.g. "do you want to do anything to celebrate your birthday") before booking in anything else.

I've always thought this was pretty normal behaviour, but I'm starting to wonder whether I might be unusual.

The context is that a sibling is consistently never free to celebrate my birthday or the birthday of my children, even when I try to plan over a month in advance... I find it a little baffling that they don't just keep the dates clear and/or check in. But perhaps I'm odd for thinking that way? I thought I'd see what others think and get a sense check (maybe I'm unreasonable, or maybe I'm just lower down the priority list than I thought/hoped)!

No. Not for anyone, I can see some people say they do that for partners and kids. We don't even do that because we can just celebrate a weekend after or whatever if we get invited to something. My eldest has been to other children's birthday parties on her actual birthday for example and we don't really celebrate my husband's anyway other than maybe getting a takeaway and getting together with some relatives at someone's house so we can do that anytime.

I keep free birthdays of my close relatives and friends too. But that’s because we all do generally do something together on their birthdays.

I think that's totally normal, I don't necessarily expect them to want to celebrate with me or make specific plans but I do try to keep them in mind if I'm making other plans to avoid creating an issue.
I used to have a friend who would want me to plan my birthday 3/4 months in advance even if it was just to say let's go to the cinema. Now that was excessive!

Only immediate family and only if it was a special birthday . Generally though, when the kids were young, we were available around niece and nephew birthdays as we aren’t the kind to have every weekend booked.

You wouldn’t know 😮when your friend’s birthdays are?

Yes, I do this. But to be fair I am The Most Organised Woman In The World

Do you celebrate on the actual birthday? We have presents and cake, and birthday person gets to choose dinner on the actual day, but the party with friends and family is usually the weekend before or after.
Our weekend evenings are full of activities, so not much time to get together.

I do because we usually get together for family/ extended family birthdays.

Only for my kids.

Not really beyond dh and the dc.
Anyone else is an adult (or an adult organising a get together/party for a young person) and will understand that other people have lives and prior engagements.

I do this for a few friends who I know like to go out around their birthday but wouldn’t avoid everything for it.

We tend to use birthdays to go out with our friend group and we’re fairly well split through the year so I’d always check with them when we’re celebrating.

If I had a holiday or a big gig or something that’s different and sometimes things clash.

Only my kids.

I find it very odd you don’t know when your friends’ birthdays are? I mean I don’t know them all off by heart but they’re in the calendar.

I have my parents', brother's, DP's, and three really good friends' birthdays in my head, and am always conscious of them if I have to plan stuff/do things on certain dates.
Last year though one of my friends did something for just her and her DS on her actual birthday weekend and then suggested a group of friends do something the following weekend. So this isn't failsafe.
I think it depends how close you are to people too. I don't actually really see my DB for his birthday, or only occasionally/on 'big' ones. But I'd hate to miss any of my friends'.

No, I don’t, and I wouldn’t expect anyone to do so for me.

Most of the people I'm friends with are from university. We didn't do anything for birthdays then and we live 100 miles apart now.

I was invited to a 50th birthday 2yrs ago with a school mum, but before that, the last birthday I celebrated with a friend was 9yrs prior!

I don't have friends locally, my best friend I see twice a year when we meet in London, though not for birthdays.

It definitely sounds different to the norm!

My Dd definitely celebrated her friend’s birthdays when at uni. Any excuse for a party!

Maybe we did and I've forgotten 😂, it was 1996!

I like celebrating things and making people feel special, so I normally do this. I have a few close friends who I’ll check in with about their birthdays. To me, little celebrations make life interesting!

My best friend at school did this. Every weekend was kept free for a family birthday, dogs birthday, siblings returning from uni... I could never see her out of school. It destroyed the friendship in the end.

Even within my immediate family, birthday dinner may be on the nearest convenient day rather than the day itself. Kids are school age but have interests and commitments.

Of course not.
There would hardly be a free weekend if you never booked anything in for parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, your own dc, and then friends as well.

If it were a 'big birthday', I might check in, in advance to see if anything was planned, but 'normal birthdays', where we do something, we just find a time people are free around the date.