Do you keep special dates free in anticipation of celebrating?

[Poppins2016]

Just curious about the norm for other people.

My diary is marked with the birthdays of my parents, siblings and close friends. I automatically keep those dates clear in order to be available to celebrate and if something comes up that might clash before a plan has been made, I check in about the plan (e.g. "do you want to do anything to celebrate your birthday") before booking in anything else.

I've always thought this was pretty normal behaviour, but I'm starting to wonder whether I might be unusual.

The context is that a sibling is consistently never free to celebrate my birthday or the birthday of my children, even when I try to plan over a month in advance... I find it a little baffling that they don't just keep the dates clear and/or check in. But perhaps I'm odd for thinking that way? I thought I'd see what others think and get a sense check (maybe I'm unreasonable, or maybe I'm just lower down the priority list than I thought/hoped)!

I have never, ever done that for anyone except my husband and children.

I wouldn't know when my friends birthdays are, I don't think, other than the odd school mum who had a 40th celebration afternoon tea type thing.

I do know my best friend from when I was 11, we are now 48. Never celebrated with her for anything other than her 30th when she had a gathering in a bar.

But I might be unusual myself!

No I don't. I'll keep the dates free for my partner's birthday and my own children's, but keeping a date free for a niece or nephew's birthday seems daft to me, especially as you don't even know if they'll be doing anything.

No. Just my husband and children's birthdays.

I’d have to be keeping every weekend free. So no. Just for kids and anniversary and partner.
I know my parents don’t ever do anything for their birthdays so I’ll arrange a dinner with them near the time but the date doesn’t really matter so it’s not an issue to move it around.

I don't, but then I was brought up in a family that doesn't really bother with birthdays, anniversaries etc so the probability of anyone wanting to celebrate is very low. I wouldn't really expect my siblings to remember my DC's birthdays, never mind keep the date free. If your family normally does celebrate together I guess it is different though.

I keep my kids birthdays free but other than that no. We tend to arrange things last minute and just go with a date that everyone can do that's around the time of the birthday.

No, I don't do this. In fact I've just booked theatre tickets for me and a friend the weekend of my sister's birthday.
I would check in with family before making other plans if it was a big birthday but usually any such celebrations are planned a few months in advance anyway.

I keep dh’s , our children and my mums birthday free, aswell as our anniversary , just in case they want to do something to celebrate

Some people just aren't as fussed about special dates as other people.

Interesting, thanks, looks as though I'm the unusual one!

Re children - I mentioned them because we're always expected to be free to celebrate my nephews birthday (which we are, because I keep the date free and I enjoy celebrating, but the expectation feels a little hypocritical in the context that they forget about my children of the same age) 🤣

You wouldn't know when your friends birthdays are? Yeah that's odd.

To answer the OP's question I do keep certain days clear to begin with (we have lots of nieces and nephews but only a certain few always have a party / invite us). I do check with the parents if they haven't confirmed a few weeks before (or if we have a potential clash / other plans on same date).

Having such a huge family actually means most of us don't celebrate en masse so I don't need to keep clear for all siblings and niblings and if anyone does make birthday plans for example, a big birthday there is usually lots of notice.

No. Maybe DH’s and DD’s. No one else.

I have a friend who sends a save the date for her birthday four months in advance.

I absolutely do this - keep the dates of all close family members free, in case of celebrations, or being needed to babysit!

I do for landmark birthdays, like keeping the week free of my friend's 50th birthday so I could accommodate whatever she fancied doing.
Obviously for my own DP and children I keep the dates clear, but for everyone else I assume if they want us to get together for their birthdays they'd let me know ahead of time.

Husband and son are automatically kept free (and my own). Anything else is fair game, and everyone I know who really wants someone there will ask a good few months in advance, usually at least 3.

I do for kids and my OH but friends? I wouldn’t have a clue when their birthdays even are.

So then have a conversation with them?

Are you actually expected to be free though or are you just invited? An invitation is not a summons. I don’t keep anyone’s birthday free and I don’t expect them to keep mine free either.

Only for husband and dc. Our extended family all live hundreds of miles away. None would have a birthday celebration for anyone other than their immediate family unless maybe it was a big one like a 50th. And in that case it would need to be planned a long time in advance anyway, for the logistics!

Expected to? It sounds like you are keeping them free anyway, and making sure you don’t book things that clash. Where is the expectation?

I’m the same as you OP, but we are a family that do tend to celebrate birthdays. I’ll do this for my own kids, my parents, nieces and nephews.

I don’t keep my own birthday free let alone anybody else’s. If i really want to do something we find a mutually acceptable date even if not “the day”

I don't do this for anyone but my DH, no.

I mean I know I will want to see my mum/dad roughly around their birthday. But I wouldnt keep the exact day free. I don't keep my brothers birthday or friends free at all, I assume if they want to do something they will let me know reasonably well in advance

If you did this for everyone you'd have no free weekends!