Friend keeps sending long voice notes instead of messages

[GirouxSein]

A friend has started sending voice notes for everything. Some of them are 5 minutes long and I often can’t listen straight away. It then feels rude when I reply hours later.
I know it’s probably meant to be more personal, but I find it a bit overwhelming and honestly prefer a normal message I can skim when I’m busy.

I’m in the minority here!
voice notes are great, you can hear the tone and infer more meaning from them. I would prefer a phone call but voice notes are a nice way to have a conversation at each other’s convenience.
5 minutes is quite excessive though I limit mine to 2 and never feel obligated to listen immediately (or expect anyone else to)

I'm a lot surprised that you think a group of people who are good at processing and engaging with information received in one specific way, in this case, visual, must all be adept at processing and engaging with information received in a totally different way.

Most of my friends send them as do I. I do keep them very short though (most of the time) but there is a speed up function if you get a long one.
People were funny about texts initially and would get annoyed if you didn’t call and just sent a text. I think it’s a case of getting used to it - it’s here to stay.
It’s just like getting a voicemail from someone - no biggy in my book.

it's not speak for myself it's proven that text messages lack about 95% of the communication face to face would have and like 75% of what a call or VM gives you.

I am too anxious to ever pick up the phone. I love a voice message from someone who cares enough about me to leave one. not a 5m one mind.

I’m guilty of voice notes though never 5 minutes - longest may be c. 2 mins (I keep an eye on that). They don’t bother me to receive either. I really don’t get the hate. My young adult DDs use them too.

FWIW, I don’t expect an instant reply. I’m mid-50s - if i need to convey something urgently i will ring or send a short text. I use voice notes to share info that can wait. It’s also a much better mode of communication than text for anything nuanced.

Sorry love, can’t deal with long voice notes, can you send a text instead?

You know, communication is not that difficult.

My DC is dyslexic, she just dictates her text messages rather than sending voice notes.

I can't be doing with them. If someone started to send me voice notes regularly I'd ask them to stop. I find them really intrusive.

Honestly just ask her to whatsapp or whatever or arrange a phone call, i would zone out if i had to listen to a constant stream of thoughts, i really think we need to take a stand against people droning on and on in voice notes.

That would drive me nuts too, I love talking on the phone but that's because it's two way and you interact. I miss the days of long chatty calls with friends. But I like being able to chat by message instead and like being able to read instantly instead of waiting till
there's no one else listening or get out earpods. Also like having the text in front of me so I can scroll back up for a recap instead of wondering which of a list of VNs had the relevant info in.

@GirouxSein
A friend of mine can't be doing with voice notes either. She has put in her WhatsApp blurb: "no voicemail - text only". It works for her - now. You could put that in in your blurb. Your friend should see it every time they send you a voice note. If the friend doesn't see it, just respond by text saying that voicemail doesn't work for you and point them to the blurb, and ignore the voicemails going forward until the message penetrates.

Yeah I keep telling people not to send me voice notes because it's really annoying. I can read a message in a split second but a voice note I can't read a discreetly or quickly. If they struggle to type they can use voice dictate so I don't know why they use voice notes

I have a friend who leaves really long voicenotes. I sometimes just don’t get around to even listening. Her intentions are good but it’s like a podcast and I’d rather skim a written message. I know I could get a transcript but equally she could voice to text.

Come on the friend is sending random chat not detailed instructions how to perform open heart surgery on someone stuck on a desert island.

I hate voice notes - I am AuDHD so think it is down to that but I just don’t process long rambling messages. I prefer emails that I can skim or reread if necessary. Or face to face. I don’t really like zoom for the similar reasons though suffer them for college/work as needed.

I’d just drop her a note saying ‘I know that voice notes may be easier for you, but I really struggle to process them and prefer texts or a chat in person - could you stick to text/email?’

I won't listen to them. I just say I don't have time. I can read a message in seconds compared to waiting for a voice note to end.

I’m in a WhatsApp group with a small group of friends. One of them often sends voice notes instead. This has been going on for over two years. I haven’t listened to a single one of them. The person responsible has form for making things all about her, chronically late and expects us all to wait, never offers any substantial contribution to potluck suppers, drinks everyone else’s bottles of wine without contributing anything, and talks incessantly about her ‘crazy’ life. She drives me nuts. We’re all very polite and accommodating and are not a group who challenge each other or talk about one another behind their backs so on it goes.

I love them, as do 3 of my close friends! With one in particular we quite often send very long notes. But we do have deep conversations about all sorts (various reasons) it's really helpful to be able to listen whilst doing stuff but I guess it depends on your home/life set up and I can see it would be annoying if you just need a specific nugget of information such as what time you're doing something.

I'm middle aged and my daughter is early twenties at uni and we also send them occasionally as do her and her friends to each other.

My best friends does this. She's a cleaner so can work while talking her message out. Some have been 10-15 mins long but I forgive her as she went through a divorce recently and needed to rant.

I find them annoying but its either voice note or my friend wouldn't reply for days so I'll take the voice note.

Feel like one of my friends have written this about me 😅

Maybe it is a hint to stop 😂

Ha ha yes I remember these! My lovely mum used to leave them a lot, and she’d always start with “Hello? It’s me here” or “Irene, it’s your mum” (because obviously I’d never recognise her voice without being told who it was…)

And gets at least one word in every three wrong, so the message is so garbled that I quite often delete it, then realise who is might ACTUALLY be from (no, AI, Carol isn't 'Carl') and start to panic.

mine doesn't but I don't have AI turned on.

I speed them up to the max!