Do I have to tell my colleagues what I am off for

[laughingalltheay]

I’m having surgery in a couple of weeks and my colleagues keep asking what surgery im having. It’s quite personal and I really don’t want them to know. I don’t know what to say or tell them. It making the whole thing even more stressful than it already is

It's none of their business. "I don't want to talk about it." should suffice. What a bunch of nosy parkers.

Being generous, maybe they're just asking out of concern rather than nosiness! You could say breezily, 'Oh, nothing too major, I expect to be done and dusted and back at work within x weeks.' Then change the subject/walk off/start working.

“I’m getting a new cock added”

this is an even better response if you’re female

Tell them your having brain transplant

that should shut them up

"I'm not telling you, but you really should get someone to have a look at your nose so it stops sticking into other people's business" ......or just "it's private" will do.

Tell them you're having a penis surgically attached. That should stop the nosy bitches asking. How entitled of them. You owe them NOTHING.

Agree with PP who say just say something vague like "abdominal surgery" - or tell a straight forward lie and say hysterectomy or something like that.

You can ask your GP to put "post surgical recovery" on your Fit/Sick note.

Probably need to tell your manager but might not need to say exactly what. You need to email your line manager and specifically say that it’s confidential and ask them not to give any details to anyone else. Saying someone is having surgery and will be off for a few weeks is totally sufficient. Nobody else needs to know. Tell your most colleague(s) that it’s none of their business. If you don’t want to say that face to face send an email or text and tell them. “As you know I’m having surgery soon and will be off for a while. I’m fed up that people keep asking what the surgery is, but that’s my business and I would appreciate that people don’t ask again”.

No! You absolutely do not have to tell your Line Manager, and given they openly discuss other people's private and confidential medical information, I'd urge you NOT to tell them.

If it's random colleagues pestering you for information, I'd just say with a straight face "penis enlargement". And yes, I'm presuming you're a woman. Or if you're not brave enough, I'd literally just say "my medical information is confidential and none of your business. Stop asking."

Honestly, if your colleagues or LM don't stop pestering, then you should report them to HR.

No, you don’t have to. Although any sick note may possibly give it away, it might just say “recovery from surgery” as the reason.
The only reason to tell them would be if you needed any adjustments after you got back, like if you couldn’t lift anything. And even then they’d only really need to know the issue (“I can’t lift things heavier than X” rather than any specific surgery details).

yup, direct gaze and "Why do you ask?"

Along with the sex change suggestions, you could say something totally ridiculous along the lines of "shrapnel removal after that nasty incident when I worked for people I'm not allowed to talk about."

Remind them that it's personal and none of their business. You certainly shouldn't worry about it. Good luck with the operation, hope goes well and wish you an easy recovery.

This, most people don't actually care they're just making conversation.

I never understand the secreacy people have around life. Why do things have to be kept secret. You told them you was having surgery so why now all of sudden do you want privacy. It reminds me of the in a&e facebook posts, photo of cannula then when people ask whats happened suddenly its pm hun 🙄

I would read up on your company policy as I’m not sure you technically have to tell your line manager or if you can go straight to HR.

similar thing has happened to me recently and I made it very clear it was strictly confidential and told line manager and HR. They can’t go blabbing if it’s something personal and you’ve outlined clearly.

Don’t stress about what others will speculate, it’s not your problem. Let them guess they will move onto something else sooner or later.

'Gynae' always shuts the males up. Women are far nosier though
...

Don’t be silly. She told them she was having surgery because she has a planned two month absence. It’s fairly obvious that that would be for surgery.
That doesn’t mean she has to say what it is if she doesn’t want to.

Just say personal reasons

Im not saying she has to im saying i don't understand people like this

How do they even know you’re having surgery?

Your line manager cannot discuss anything medical about you with anyone. Tell HR that your manager discusses these things with the team and that you want a guarantee that your confidential medical information will remain confidential and they will not discuss it.

You need to grow a bit of a back bone here and speak up.

Tell each of them something different and let them speculate when you're off 🤣

Do you honestly think people actually care and would have full on conversation about it

If they keep asking and actually want to know then probably ... yeah

I assume she meant multiple people where asking not 2/3 repeatedly. If someone told me they where having surgery the next natural sentence would be asking what surgery not because I'm particularly interested its just better then saying ok and walking off