Decluttering - how can I make it feel less sad?

[Darker]

Prompted by putting away the Christmas stuff and chucking out stuff I don’t use any more. But I have the same feeling every time I try to get on top of the ‘stuff’. Crippling feelings of grief.

I could understand if it was stuff that belonged to people who had recently died or stuff with sentimental significance but it’s not really that. I just want to clear stuff out but I find it so emotionally exhausting.

Kids are grown up and left home but not really settled yet. I think to some extent I’m hung up on not chucking stuff ‘in case’ they want it later. I have not been very successful in getting them to help sort things out, but that’s definitely only part of the problem.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do I make it less painful?

The certificates / documents depends what they actually are, if its degree and school certificates they are probably nice to keep for the family but not interesting enough for a museum to want.

If its 10m swim certs they got age 6 is ANYONE going to want them?

Is their any neices or nephews who could be interested in them?

Well. Bit of progress here. Got AC (adult child) to go through a tonne of stuff in their old room. They were not keen to start with but got quite into it! And I’ve taken a load of other stuff to the tip and made a start with the garage.

Well done @Darker you have done loads and it's lovely your AC helped you out. My old pjs are still sat in a pile waiting for me to make a decision on what to do with them

I've been through the garage this week and sorted 2 small boxes of keepsakes and 1 big box of Christmas decorations. I've still got some of my DSs things in 2 big boxes that he would like to keep but doesn't bother with. I think there's already stuff in the loft, not a lot but honestly it's never ending. And the fitted wardrobes are full of stuff.

I feel like I'm just moving stuff around rather than getting rid although I have a black bag for charity. I've been decluttering for years and I'm conscious not to buy stuff but there's still so much.

I need room in the garage for the new kitchen delivery and all the kitchen stuff.

Well done @user1471538283 . Small steps.

My AC has continued the sorting. Doing great! I feel like there is some shared purpose here which helps a lot. Stuff I couldn’t throw out myself is being removed, and I feel less sucked down in a quicksand of impossible decisions.

However I have been doing some reverse decluttering by accepting some bits from a friend who is in the middle of a house clearance. 😬

That's what worked for me. Now I can part with most items by knowing someone else will enjoy it.

However I have been doing some reverse decluttering by accepting some bits from a friend who is in the middle of a house clearance. 😬

😂😂 Hello fellow magpie! I need to get stronger in saying no too but at least you are also letting things go.

Re lego or children's toys, donate to a local playgroup or nursery. I work with kids so pass all my stuff along and there is something deeply satisfying about seeing something being used and loved again. My sister donates to a refugee centre and gets pleasure from knowing she has helped make an otherwise traumatised child a little bit happy.

I’m making slow progress. I need to prepare for some domestic changes so I really have a reason to do this and I’m pushing on slowly. Big trip to the dump this morning. Loading the car with some charity shop donations.

Still finding it all really hard. My (adult) kids are not being helpful at all. Trying to talk to them usually results in me stalling altogether.

Trying to revv myself up from doing some at Christmas.. now doing a little bit each day and giving myself treats along the way 😊

I find it so hard as I don't have ornaments or anything. Just day to day stuff, but a small house. As I'm partly on benefits (I work too) I'm too scared to get rid of useful items as I don't think I'll have the money to replace.

My teenagers love Sort Your Life Out. We had a good session where we went through the board games and got rid of half of them, some had never even been played with. I took them to a charity shop just before Christmas and they made a big display with them all. I then got a letter after Christmas saying they had made £65 selling all our old unwanted boardgames. So we now have a more organised board game cupboard and have raised money for charity and other families can enjoy the games we didn't want. That's a win win win.

I’ve just run the vacuum round and am feeling like I need to be a bit less hard on myself. There is a LOT more space now and lots of the remaining clutter is empty boxes and stuff that is waiting for the next charity shop run.

Just been to drop off several old pairs of spectacles but the optician didn’t take them…

I will now be roaming the street with six pairs of specs in my bag until I find one that will.

Spectacle recycling: Here

Oo thank you!

When my late Father died way back 20 years ago, I became very sentimental about one item of clothing … he loved it and it was always a bone of contention with my Mother as she wasn’t keen.. a red and yellow checked shirt ( bought in USA and which we called the ‘rhubarb and custard’ shirt) I couldn’t bear to let it go and it is now a cushion cover …. It’s almost moth eaten, but I will hang on to that for as long as I’m here ! Strangely, photos and documents were not hard to let go of - after a while- about 5 years and when we moved home.

As far as my now grown DS’s are concerned, they have zero interest in me keeping or giving to them, their first pics, cards and other kindergarten work and early school books….and keep telling me to dump… I’m struggling like everyone else but know if I work upto it I will be able to do it ‘soon’.

Decluttering a hoarders house. Well husband is. So much absolute crap. And piles of the same thing. A million A4 suspension files. I don't think anyone will want them.
The hoarder used to buy at auctions and sold very little.
He also smoked so we have about a dozen Liliputt Lane ornaments that probably need a good clean before anyone wants them. If anyone wants them. There's another couple of boxes of packed Liliputts too. Utter madness.

I set my daughter a small target like 20 minutes. Guaranteed once she starts she will go on for 2 hours. Also, I introduced her to Vinted, and now she loves getting rid of things when she can sell them.

For myself, I booked a collection from a charity shop and set myself a target of 6-8 bags. I sell the best things on vinted and give away the rest. I go thrugh my wardrobe and drawers and get rid of anything that I haven't worn in a long time.

I also keep saying to myself, if anything were to happen to me, I am leaving behind a lot of clutter for friends and family to deal with.

It is getting easier as DD gets older. We have managed to throw out a lot of childhood stuff as she nears 18.

Well this is winter specific but I needed paper for fire lighting and so that has helped me to sort out a couple of piles of hoarded chuckable paper. I will try to keep it up.

Yes OP - take photos. Then you can always look at the things via the photos forever

I so know where you're coming from. I wish that I could uphold and follow my own view that we come into the world with nothing and leave with nothing. The possessions we have are often man made and just things. We attach thoughts to them to make them into something sentimental.
If only I could stick to this idea and free myself of the clutter I have too. It makes me so miserable.
The only items I should be concerned with are photos.
If the above helps anyone that would be great. Maybe I'll start tomorrow........

Sorry if someone's already said this, but could you digitise the documents and then bin the hard copies?

Some good suggestions. especially about photos.

I’m doing better now that I am enjoying the benefits. The place feels less cluttered and I have shelf space again.

I’m not hanging on to stuff because I want it. Sometimes it’s worrying that I might find it useful later (particularly stuff like mystery cables, kitchen stuff, tools) and that complex emotional feeling that seems to be a combination of guilt and betrayal.

I hate throwing out ‘perfectly good’ stuff, that isn’t quite good enough for a charity shop.
I hate throwing out stuff that someone else loved/kept or that strictly speaking doesn’t belong to me (the kids stuff).

I am happy keeping a few boxes of stuff that the kids will enjoy looking through in time - scrapbooks and so on.

I’ve put a small box together for my mums stuff. It’s just a few chosen things that remind me of her in a good way, that tell a story. I also have one for my dad (died 45 years ago).

I'm trying to look at items in the light of

• if I moved house, would I bring this with me?
• if I left this for the kids to sort when I die, will it delight them or make their hearts sink?

One of my kids is bad at throwing stuff out, so I also imagine his partner’s face if he brought home more piles of things that they don’t need.

The digital photos is a whole other project. I want to go through everything and print off a few favourites so that they don’t get lost forever when I’m gone.

@pteromum please upload your friend’s certificates etc to Ancestry as one of her relatives might treasure them.