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Original poster

How much contact do people realistically keep with old school friends?

76 replies

GirouxSein · 30/12/2025 01:42

I bumped into someone I was very close to at school and it was friendly but slightly awkward. We did the whole “we should meet up sometime” thing and then nothing really came of it.
It got me thinking about how many people actually stay in touch with school friends long term. I’ve drifted from most of mine and sometimes wonder if that’s normal or if I’ve just let things slide too much.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 30/12/2025 01:48

In my 50s, I still meet up with a handful, though not frequently, as I don't live that close now. I'm in FB contact with a few more. I know some meet up more often because they still live in the same town.

The years of young children were tricky, and most just birthday/Christmas contact, but kids are now teens and twenties, so contact has picked up again.

Depends who you are. My sister is in touch with very few from school, and she still lives locally - so she probably sees some around anyway.

mathanxiety · 30/12/2025 02:47

My class have a FB group, a WhatsApp group, and annual reunions. We left school in the early 80s.

CalliopeFosterBeauchamp · 30/12/2025 02:54

I’m 51 and in regular contact with four old schoolfriends.

Two that I met at 14 I exchange WhatsApp messages with every couple of weeks.

Another two (met aged 4 and aged 13), I message at least weekly, exchange birthday and Xmas presents with, and meet up with a couple of times a year.

Anecdotally, this seems like a lot more contact than other people have with their schoolfriends.

NansCheeseFlan · 30/12/2025 03:03

None. I was a very different person as a teen and I have no desire to reconnect with people from my past. I lost contact with most from about the age of 18/19. Never bothered me at all.
That said, it doesn’t make me right or wrong, everyone is unique and I don’t think there is a normal amount of contact, as it must vary wildly unless you grew up in a small community where most people still live there.

JamesClyman · 30/12/2025 12:49

None. Of the four close friends I did keep in touch with, three have died and one now lives so far down in the SW he's nearly in the Atlantic.

Waitingfordoggo · 30/12/2025 12:52

I made my first friend when I was 5 and she is still my best friend. We went through school together and lived together when we were University students. She lives abroad now so I only see her every few years but we message reasonably often.

Aside from her, there is another friend who I see semi-regularly. We were at Secondary school together, then lost touch but reconnected when we ended up working at the same place for a while.

Aside from those two, there are a handful I chat to fairly often as we are FB friends but I don’t see them really.

Heyhelga · 30/12/2025 12:54

I'm 42 and I keep in contact with three childhood school friends. All from primary school days. None from secondary school.

Maddy70 · 30/12/2025 12:55

In my 50s. I have two friends that I am still very close too. One I'm in touch with. The rest meh

MapleOakPine · 30/12/2025 12:58

I'm in my 50s. There's a group of 7 of us who meet up occasionally - maybe once a year or something like that - but within the group there are two separate pairs who are much closer than that and see each other a lot, eg one pair live round the corner from each other and their DC are friends. (I'm not in either of these pairs.)

YellowPixie · 30/12/2025 12:58

I left school in 1990 and never returned to live full time in the city where I grew up. I keep in touch with 3 women I was at school with, mostly on social media, none of them live in the same city we grew up in either. I have no interest in many of the people I was at school with. It was a school in what you would kindly call a "mixed demographic" and many of them had no interest in learning and bullied those of us who did.

I did join a FB group for the school during Covid and saw many names I recognised, lasted about 5 minutes before I realised that I had nothing in common with them other than being born around the same time.

NerrSnerr · 30/12/2025 12:59

My three closest school friends are very good friends. We WhatsApp every day and meet up about 3 times a year (live far apart). They know absolutely everything about me and I love them dearly.

NuffSaidSam · 30/12/2025 13:01

I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school from when I left. I'd never found my tribe really and I went to University a long way from where I grew up so I wasn't around to see anyone, I was off making new friends. I'm still in close contact with a few uni friends.

Miranda65 · 30/12/2025 13:01

I'm 60. My two closest friends are both people I was at school with. I haven't lived near either of them since I was 18, so we only see each other a few times a year, but it's fine.
None of us still live in the town where we went to school, so we're very spread out.
With one of these friends, we hit our 50th "anniversary" next year.
With the two of them (separately) I've been though husbands, kids (theirs), illness, dementia & widowhood (one of them), severe MH issues and section/hospitalisation (the other one). Their kids are my godchildren and I've had numerous holidays with them.
At least one of them is in touch with other friends from school.
The reality is that you stay in touch with the people you want to stay in with!

VictorianChic · 30/12/2025 13:02

Two separate groups to whom I’m still very close. Lots of social media acquaintances from school whom I’d be happy to see again but I wouldn’t necessarily initiate a meetup.

Similar with university friends, and my post-university social circle in London.

Ineedanewsofa · 30/12/2025 13:09

My 3 best friends are school friends, we all live quite far apart these days so meet ups are less frequent but we message daily. There is a wider group from school who I see probably twice a year, again due to distance but there is a WhatsApp group where we are all pretty chatty.
I’ve drifted from uni friends and those made in my 20s (party friends) and tbh haven’t really made any new close friends as I’ve got older (now in my 40s)

reluctantbrit · 30/12/2025 13:13

I am in contact with 1 and loosely with another.

On FB with a couple more but hardly anyone posts nowadays anymore.

I moved away when I was 24, first towards the other end of the country and then abroad. Hardly ever home and never into big reunions.

APatternGrammar · 30/12/2025 13:19

We speak daily.
Why not try and rekindle the friendship, if you have positive memories of the person? You were close for a reason.

muddyford · 30/12/2025 13:23

I'm 63 and still in regular touch with a friend from primary school. We live 200+ miles apart but still manage to meet whenever I go and see my family.

EmmaStone · 30/12/2025 13:24

There’s 5 of us that keep in touch with each other (1 of whom is also excellent at keeping in touch with others as well), see each other rarely, but check in via WhatsApp every now and then - we all live all over the place, not close to each other. Had a school reunion a couple of years ago which was lovely, and really nice to see some old faces.

DH is really close to his school
friends (and after 30 years, I am too!), we holiday together and get together regularly - many of them live close-ish, but we’re a couple of hours away.

Sunnyside4 · 30/12/2025 13:25

Obviously had a few friends at school, but I've actually seen one this morning who I started off in playgroup with. We were part of same friendship group throughout. We mainly see eachother with our DHs who get on well, approximately 10x a year.

RampantIvy · 30/12/2025 13:26

On Facebook only. I left the town I grew up in 45 years ago.

MamaBanana12 · 30/12/2025 13:26

My 2 best friends from school are still my best friends now & our kids are at the same schools and are best of friends.

my other 2 best friends I met at college and we are still close now.

my older best friend from primary school moved away but he’s just come back and now we meet up every few months which is lovely.

GameOfJones · 30/12/2025 13:29

Almost none. But I moved away to University and then relocated again hundreds of miles away after graduation.

I am still in touch with one friend from Primary School and used to try and meet up every so often but because we live so far apart and both have young families we haven't seen each other in 5 years or so. Contact is really the odd message for birthdays and exchanging Christmas cards.

I'm friends with nobody from secondary school. I had an awful time there and not many happy memories of my teenage years. I have a couple of old friends from that time although we didn't go to the same school. We're on Facebook and will send each other the odd message but that's it.

Anecdotally most people I know that are still friendly with people from school never moved away or returned to the area after University.

RaininSummer · 30/12/2025 13:31

I left school in 1979 and am still in contact with a handful of people mainly online but with very sporadic face to face meetings about once a decade as I moved a long way away. I think that is quite amazing considering that we didn't have the internet then and as students didn't even have landlines let alone mobiles .

HelpMeGetThrough · 30/12/2025 13:33

No contact at all. Left school didn’t see them again. Same with college and university.