I met a man on OLD and would really appreciate some outside opinions, especially as I’ve previously been in an abusive relationship and want to sanity check myself before getting more involved.
He is divorced and has a daughter. He separated from the child’s mother very shortly after the birth. He says this was not his decision. There was a long court process and he eventually got standard contact, every other weekend and one midweek day.
He says the mother moved away and he followed her, including relocating his job. He works in a professional role that involves a lot of empathy and care, which I mention only because it seems relevant to his presentation.
His explanation is that the child’s mother was developing mental health problems after the birth and moved in with her parents. He says her parents wanted to protect her and were concerned the baby might be taken away, and that as a result he was shut out.
I’m aware that there are always two sides to these situations. As a woman myself, and having had my own experience of being left shortly after giving birth and being labelled abusive, I know how complex and painful these dynamics can be.
In person he came across as open and willing to answer questions, and his body language felt genuine to me, but I also know that I may be over analysing or projecting because of my past.
I’d really welcome thoughts on how this sounds to others, any potential red flags, and what sensible, non confrontational questions I could ask on a next date to get a clearer picture.