What passive/aggressive Christmas gifts did you receive?

[theministerscat]

I unwrapped the wee gift from my boss on Xmas day to find one of those stress ball things - ‘don’t stress, just squish’ on the packaging.

Anyone else get anything a bit PA this year?

I don’t think so. But I couldn’t help noticing the chocs that dp’s daughter gave me were called ‘Eton Mess’ and it just crossed my mind, is she calling me a posh twat? I think I’m probably overthinking it. I hope so because I really like and respect her.

Nothing aggressive no, I don't think your gift was PA either just a little token novelty gift. Although you seem a bit uptight have you tried squishing it 😀

im not a lover of cactuses, in fact i hate them.....que cactus from my mum

This is an off the scale level of overthinking. Eton Mess is a dessert. I’m assuming they’re something like the Hotel Chocolat Eton Mess chocolates? They’re just a generic, non offensive gift.

Sister gave me a hand painted, ceramic serving platter, and she gave my other sister the serving bowl. What's the point in one unusual piece of pottery each, they match, but we're gifted to two separate households. She does this, she wants to cozy up to artists in markets. The gift is to the artist, not to us. €40 each, wasteful.

Can’t you use the platter even though you don’t have the matching bowl? I have a lovely, unusual serving platter (bought myself!) but I didn’t know I needed the bowl to go with it. It works fine as a standalone platter!

My stepdaughter knows I’m trying to lose weight, and gave me two chocolate gifts (and a book).

Maybe just thoughtless, not PA? But she’s in her 30s!

That’s an insane level of paranoia.

I ll offer it to my other sister, she is into cooking. I m not.

@Dunderheided tbf, chocolate is a popular go-to for an easy gift if you don't know what else to get someone or don't know them very well. I would give it to someone even if they are trying to lose weight (as it's not like they can't still eat some chocolate, in moderation). I'd only steer clear if they had an intolerance or dislike chocolate.

I had a non gift as in no gift no card no nothing....I responded in kind no time for this nonsense I know I should have handed it over taken the higher ground etc etc but....naa

You know Eton mess is a pudding? The hotel chocolat Eton mess chocolates are delicious tbh, that is a good gift to receive.

My MIL spelled my name wrong on my gift. I've been with her son for years and she has never spelled it wrong before but we had a fall out this year and Christmas Eve was the first time we spoke in months so it was obviously done passive aggressively. She also dropped my surname from both my children's hyphenated names when sending their birthday presents this year.

If you are searching so hard for a grievance in a nice gift I question if you do actually like and respect this person. Just eat the chocolate and stop looking to be offended.

Two nice gifts given to two different people. I don’t see the problem.

@Curiousrobin thanks for this perspective… she has known me for 15 years though!
And not everyone can control their chocolate intake.
I do think it might have been in order not to spend too much money, though.

I'd be more offended by the "Mess" part TBH

They are lovely Lilly o brien do a "dupe" and they are just as nice.

You are being extremely paranoid. Eton mess is a delicious cream/merengue/strawberry dessert. It would be no different to receiving sticky toffee pudding chocolates or lemon merengue pie chocolates.

What? You got a hand painted ceramic serving platter - why on earth does it matter what your other sister got? Your sister clearly loved the design and got two pieces. Nothing PA at all - just you seeing things that aren't there.

Def PA! Is she usually a PA bitch?

Maybe a panic buy? At best it sounds like she didn't know what to get either of you but liked the pottery and took a punt. To be honest, I'd be delighted with something like that and it wouldn't bother me that she'd gifted something similar to another family member. Having said that, I'm not a "matchy sets" kind of person. (All my plates and serving dishes could be best described as pick and mix.)

Overall, I just really don't like to attribute negative motives to people buying me presents. That just seems a miserable way to look at life.

I would be more than happy with a beautiful hand painted serving platter.
I don't care if someone else, family or otherwise, has a similar design on their serving bowl. That is utterly ridiculous to be offended by.

My NC brother and sister in law left gifts around my mum's. They've not given us gifts in 17 years. All done to look good in front of my mum and to make us feel awkward 😡

I'm not sure. She might have done it in the past and Ive not noticed before. I used to think she was really nice and sweet and then I found out she had been sending messages saying really horrible things about me and my family to my DP behind my back and making fun of our culture (i was born here but my family are immigrants), so if not passive aggressive then definitely two faced and racist. I would happily never see her again but DP lost an uncle this year unexpectedly and is now desperate for me to move past it so I sucked it up for Christmas for him and the kids.