Presents under the tree does it make you feel sickend

[5490t]

Just done our yearly tradition of putting the presents under the tree ready(Santa brings our stockings )
As always we said we weren't going mad! but I think roughly we've spent £1000 for me husband and 2 kids 9 and 12 I actually feel sickened trying to think what we've got for each other
Is anyone else feeling like this?

@Moonlightfrog I was just speaking to someone who spent over 5k on their 2 kids so I think 1k is pretty reasonable

Wow! Do you know what they got? I'd be hard pressed to find £5k worth of stuff my DCs would even want - apart from tech, I suppose - and if a kid had an expensive hobby like ponies, it could easily add up - but still...!

Why ‘sickened’?

can you afford it? Is it a reasonably small percentage of your income?

I don’t think £250 per person is really that much, if you were buying a gaming console (another reasonable present for a child) then it would be more expensive than that.

Nope, I absolutely love it. We spend what we can afford and I enjoy it all.

Honestly it doesn’t at all. I really enjoy it. We are pretty frugal all year round and lots of gifts are very practical and items I’ve brought through the year. For example we’ve waited all year to get a coffee machine and I’ve got a coat from the summer sale. My kids have got stuff they want or need. None of it is tat. Everyone of my pressies brings me joy.

is there away you can enjoy these gifts more?

If you want to feel better any pension system is completely reliant on growth, which in turn is dependent on consumers spending. So your money is getting turned into pensions.

I know what you mean OP, I always have a bit of a panic moment last minute as well. I have actually put away 2 presents for a birthday instead because they felt too much and a bit unbalanced between DC. However I might get the smaller one back out since my sister sent me a bit of money last minute.

I think it's because DH comes from a family where they all express love by buying each other tons of stuff, whereas I come from a family where we didn't have much money in the first place and the way my mum dealt with it was to make every gift "count" in terms of being as thoughtful/home made/cost-effective as possible. So I tend to feel guilty and a bit upset if I feel any of the presents are a waste or too expensive because I worry that it's irresponsible and going to put us into debt. We are fortunate this year for that not to be a worry at all but then DH has responded to that by going "Yippee!! We have loads to spend!" and added several other gifts to the pile, which made me feel a bit panicky again.

However overall this is my childhood conditioning speaking, I think. I do think it's important to consider budget and it's not necessary to spend loads and loads and loads and have numerous gifts for each person in order for Christmas to be special, but I do also see DH's excitement at "big piles" and the DC love it. Some of what we are buying is the experience and I'm OK with that too. I just have to calm the panic monster a bit sometimes.

I think it was on a gaming PC and things to go with it (2 boys are 10 and 13).

Not sickened at all… it’s so much fun!

I just think this is Xmas stress. All the prep is over, nothing else to do and the adrenaline is dissipating. Fairly normal and everyone has their own way of it exiting. I shouted about hoovering! 😄

I’m sure you won’t regret it come tomorrow

Exactly. Nobody has been forcing you to get caught up in spending to a level which "sickens" you. If you are uncapable of spending mindfully and considering before making a purchase then cut up your cards.

All the present piles and hauls and mountains of stuff under trees is not cool.

Can you afford it? Are you feeling sick with worry for debt or do you consider it excessive? If you have bought lovely things you'll love and use it's fine, in my opinion.

Nope. It's Christmas, and if we couldn't afford it then we wouldn't buy it. I'd never dream of going into debt over Christmas, but as it stands finances are no issue so I don't feel like it's a problem. I love seeing the children excited, I love the chaos of it all. DH is the same way!

I write down everything I've bought and number it. It's all in the same notebook so I can go back and look at previous years.

In 2020 my 2 DC had about 50 presents each (including from DM, PIL and their stockings). I was so consumed with guilt that year and over compensated massively, plus I was excited to go to the shops for a change. None of it was super expensive, nor was it rubbish, but it was far far far too much. But neither of them were even slightly overwhelmed - they loved it all (DD was 6 and DS was 2)! It was a mad day of opening and they had a lot of fun and enjoyed everything they got.

However every year since they've received a lot less and I keep that 2020 page in there to remind me of how insane I went, and to NEVER go so overboard again. If ever I look at their present piles and think they haven't got enough I can flick back in the book and remember!

You don't buy for anyone else, family or friends?

We keep presents low key but managed to somehow spend £320 on food even though we’re going out Christmas Day. It’s not a huge amount we’ve bought special stuff including nice wine. So easy to get caught up in it all. Is there a present for each kid you can keep to one side and return in NY if they have enough to open tomorrow?

We bought the kids a shared present of nintendo switch 2 with mario kart and then their individual christmas lists. So yes we have spent more than £1000 on the whole including the gifts we bought each other. I don’t even know what DH has got me but without that we are over £1000. We can afford it so we do it. This is the first year we have spent so much as the kids are getting older. When they were younger it was a lot cheaper! Never spend more than you are comfortable with or anything that would put you in debt.

Same here

Did a mental adding up when wrapping presents, and it came than I expected. Hope they like them!

Yes, me too.

Me too. I've spent around £1K each on our adult DDs and roughly £600 on DH. The presents are piled up under the tree and spilling out onto the rug! Tomorrow we're going to get dressed up to the nines and thoroughly enjoy a 6 course foodie extravaganza at a fancy gastro pub. And I can honestly say, hand on heart, I absolutely love it and feel only pleasure and excitement. There's not even the tiniest speck of guilt or self loathing to be had, I'm afraid.

Just do whatever makes you happy and do it with all your heart. Merry Christmas x

I don’t think 250 per person is that much if you can afford it, especially nowadays.

I got DH tickets for us to go to a show he’s desperate to see which were £85 each so add that to a few select bits (underwear, socks, toiletries which are all essential things anyway!) and that’s already over £200!

I spent lots on my teen as they wanted a lot of clothes etc but I don’t get them a huge amount over the year so don’t mind spending out at Christmas. Our younger DC still likes toys etc so it was much easier to get loads of bits from the works etc and it looks like they have loads when we didn’t spend much.

I don't feel sickened.
I do feel daft. I've just finished wrapping our DD presents.
Put them under the tree and remembered I hadn't got anything for DH

I don’t feel sickened at all. We have probably spent around £1000 on food, wine and presents for just the two of us this year (and then presents for our families who we will unfortunately not see this year at Christmas time). I am really looking forward to it!

We can afford it, and it will make for an enjoyable festive time (and the wine and treats will definitely last us into January, which is good because it’s the grimmest month of the year in lots of ways). Why on earth would I feel sickened? If anything, I feel sad that life is so expensive that many other people will be struggling for the basics this year. Life is for enjoying yourself!

I used an app for the first time this Christmas. It lists the presents I have bought for my adult children and their wives and husbands and my 5 grandchildren. It also gives a running total of what I’ve spent and it’s come to £2500 . This also has 4 close family birthdays including my eldest granddaughters 21st . I’ve saved up and not gone into debt so I don’t feel guilty at all .

I felt like this doing the food shop! Just cramming the trolley full of food made me feel quite sick at the privilege of it all. Next year i need to pull my finger out to give back more instead of focusing on the mad Christmas rush for us alone.

Money doesn’t spend itself! Make a plan and stick to it next year.