Should I complain/give feedback on our experience with Santa or am I overreacting?

[Dori43]

Visited Santa last night with my 2 children (boy age 7, girl age 8). Called into the room to see Santa and the kids go over for their photo. Right away he is arms round their waist and did this for the whole approx 5-7 min interaction, I noticed and was a bit surprised as thought all that was stopped now.
afterwards both children said to me they didn’t like him because he “pulled me right into him” and my daughter said he was tickling her side when holding her round the waist.
I know it’s not the biggest deal in the world but it made them both uncomfortable and I’m wondering should I drop an email
wirh some feedback. Im sure theres many other kids who also wouldn’t like this

A santa asked my 9 year old daughter at the time if she had a boyfriend. I wasn't impressed.

Report it. No hesitation. What if there’s a bigger picture that your feedback feeds into?

If in doubt it’s probably best to demonise all men.

I thought I’d post that to allow the thread to reach its inevitable conclusion and allow everyone to get on with their day.

If in doubt it’s probably best to protect children by arranging extra training for people who make dc uncomfortable.

It’s in the interests of the company if DC enjoy it and go back. It’s in the interests of society to ensure people don’t non consensually manhandle others, especially children.

This.

what would you do if he wasn’t dressed up in a red suit with a fake beard?

National Curriculum content includes consent. This is part of the curriculum for very good reason. No one can touch your body without your permission.
This Santa clearly has no idea and needs to be made aware. I’d be contacting them OP.

Sorry what? My dcs are oast the age of seeing Santa but I would have assumed in this day and age all Santas would be DBS checked, I'm shocked!

I would definitely let the activity centre know. Can't believe the amount of people saying not to.
The man has exhibited questionable behaviour and made the children uncomfortable, why wouldn't you let someone know?

We don't have to put up with being made to feel uncomfortable by men, we don't exist to people-please them.

We've run Santa sessions for years and it's the same Santa. He always lets the children take the lead - some come for a hug, a lot pull his beard ( yes it's real) and some just sit next to him. He is DBS checked but he insists on having a staff member present as well. I would definitely feedback - he needs to take his cues from the kids and be made aware that he's making children uncomfortable

Yes complain! Advocate for your children and show them that if they come to you with a concern you will take it seriously! I can’t believe people are saying not to bother. This is exactly what dodgy pervs do - hide in plain sight - and even if it was totally innocent, the man should be told it’s not appropriate. Children have a right to bodily autonomy just as much as adults.

Agree.

I can't believe the amount of people that are willing to brush it off because he is dressed as Santa. Frightening.

We all have a duty to protect children.

Yes, I would feed this back to them - I wouldn't complain as such, more as a reminder that it could leave him (and them) open to allegations.

Trust your instincts - been there, got that t-shirt.

Why didn’t you say something then? After photos were done after the first minute presumably it was just chit chat, so you could have moved the children out of his arms or said something like “kids come and sit on the chairs now” or “let’s take a photo wirh the tree now”
5-7 minutes is a long time for a stranger to hold your kids tightly but doesn’t mean the person had bad intentions. I wouldn’t “complain” per se but maybe mention it to the organisers.

You can look interested without feeling up kids.

If this was any other adult in any other situation you'd be livid, but because it's Santa it's nothing?

If you thought it was inappropriate, why didn't you intervene? The fact that you just watched the for the 7 minutes surely means you didn't think it was inappropriate at the time?

Op was presumably trying to make a magical experience for her kids. It's also uncomfortable and confusing to experience someone not respecting boundaries. It's often only afterwards when we have time to process that we realise something wasn't right. Even then we doubt ourselves and often get told we're being ridiculous to make a fuss. As shown by this thread. Don't blame a woman for a man touching kids inappropriately. She's trying to deal with it now, support her in this.

Sure give feed back. Hopefully many more people will do the same. If he’s an unregistered sex offender he should be fired.

Also, if enough parents complain perhaps venues will stop setting up this money grab every year. Kids don’t need another opportunity to get a gift. If parents can afford the Santa experience you can guarantee there will be plenty under the tree.

But I don’t care about that much. What I do care about is people not having full time jobs that pay a living wage. That people are available and need to do that job for a few weeks and then presumably have to find some other short term gig once the spend fest is over.

Perhaps we should all give a bit more thought to taking our children to stand near a man they know isn’t Father Christmas. Have their photo taken with this stranger and then get a gift they don’t need and probably don’t even want.

My husband works as a Santa at Christmas, He does those breakfast with Santa things and kids parties etc and the rule generally is not to touch the children unless then initiate a small hug or something. They don’t sit on his knee but parents sometimes ask if he will hold babies/toddlers for a photos which he’s happy to do. Basically he’s led by the kids and parents so everyone is comfortable. He’s also fully checked and vetted with all the right certificates as his usual day job is working with young people too.

in your example I would have felt a little uncomfortable too, especially if the children themselves noticed it. Likelihood he was just an old school Santa trying to be friendly for the kids but you never know. Maybe just mention it to the activity centre so they can keep and eye or take action of any other comments are made.

But I don’t care about that much. What I do care about is people not having full time jobs that pay a living wage. That people are available and need to do that job for a few weeks and then presumably have to find some other short term gig once the spend fest is over.

What the fuck?

Crack on Santa, be inappropriate with children, because you need the money.

I was trying to edit but can’t right now it seem. I did say she should report him.

I wanted to edit to add that if there are still parents that are unaware that paedophiles often seek jobs where they will be with children then where on earth have they been? Why encourage children to interact with a man pretending to be a jolly trusted gift giver?

Some will be but as they are not left alone with the children it’s not a legal requirement. If you imagine a local Christmas fayre, Santa will be someone’s husband/dad it’s unlikely a formal arrangement.

He isn't left alone with the children (parents or other adults present) and it’s not defined as regular contact so no dbs needed. I was also shocked about this.

Definitely feed back. For the children’s sake and Santa’s sake too (if he’s not actually dodgy). Most places we’ve been to are parent/child led and any contact(when requested) is very brief.

Apparently, some celebrities make a point of keeping their hands visible at all times when meeting fans -Keanu Reeves is one, I believe. Maybe suggest some reconfiguring of posturing when 'meeting Santa' in your feedback, so that the person in the costume is protected from accusations arising from ambiguous touch. A no-touch policy is best.

I’d email, All that will happen is the guy will be told, no touching and unless he’s a weirdo why would that bother him.

Exactly.

No need for all the drama. It's just feedback - most children don't expect adults they don't know to hold onto them, especially at age 7-8. Unless there's something very, very wrong with this particular man, he just needs to know he misjudged it.