Should I complain/give feedback on our experience with Santa or am I overreacting?

[Dori43]

Visited Santa last night with my 2 children (boy age 7, girl age 8). Called into the room to see Santa and the kids go over for their photo. Right away he is arms round their waist and did this for the whole approx 5-7 min interaction, I noticed and was a bit surprised as thought all that was stopped now.
afterwards both children said to me they didn’t like him because he “pulled me right into him” and my daughter said he was tickling her side when holding her round the waist.
I know it’s not the biggest deal in the world but it made them both uncomfortable and I’m wondering should I drop an email
wirh some feedback. Im sure theres many other kids who also wouldn’t like this

Can you be bothered?

maybe? I probably wouldn’t if my children hadn’t said themselves he made them feel uncomfortable. Although like I said I was surprised myself at the way he was holding them even before they said this

Trust your instinct. I would frame it as feedback rather than a complaint, explaining it’s for Santa’s own protection as that level of touching could open him up to allegations.

There will probably be other families that complain when Santa doesn’t look like he’s interested enough in the children. I’d let it go.

Some people must wake up and make it their goal for the day to find something to be offended by? It’s tiresome.

Personally speaking I have never taken any of my three kids to a Santa's Grotto type thing. I think they're naff and expensive, not magical or fun. Fake Santa...why??

Do kids even want to go? Mine never requested it. Think they were a bit creeped out by it tbh.

@Dori43 Definitely feedback to the place he works. At the very least he should be up to date with child protection guidance which includes NOT making the first move to be physical with children and be aware of boundaries. He doesn’t seem to be.

It’s an activity centre more so than just Santa, they’ve always enjoyed it

Great idea- get Santa sacked two days before Christmas.

Overreaction.

If he’s a dodgy guy who likes feeling up little kids then yes- why the fuck wouldn’t you?

I think if it made your children uncomfortable, they need to know their mum will stand up for them if anyone ever makes them feel uncomfortable in their bodies so I do agree making a 'suggestion' and telling the kids you've done that would be good.

It is unusual for a santa to be that touchy feely these days, I don't think I would've liked it either. Squeezing and tickling children on their laps was exactly what people like Rolf Harris liked to do!

I didn't intend to criticise you there, I was thinking out loud. Lots of people seem to enjoy a grotto...I'm unusual in that I'm put off by them.

I don't think I'd be expecting a professional performer. This guy was trying to be jolly, friendly, warm and attentive.
Kids know it's a stranger in a costume. I just don't see the point.

Nah I would be complaining. We've seen Santa loads over the years and never have I seen one pull a child in to him and hold them there.
Usually there is a designated seat to one side of Santa for the kids.

I do agree with PP by phrasing it as helping Santa out. That physically touching children can easily open him up to allegations.
I wonder if the room has CCTV?

This!

I think it’s a good point to begin explaining to your children if anyone touches them and they don’t like it it’s fine to step away and tell them not too.

I would give feedback to the activity centre. Your kids told you he made them uncomfortable and you yourself were surprised he had that much close physical contact with kids. They, and fake Santa, need to know it’s not appropriate- adults should be guided by the response of the kids and be led by them in terms of how they are, or are not handled. Teaching children about boundaries and to say when they are uncomfortable is important. And it’s not about ‘getting Santa sacked’ it’s about giving feedback so they can learn and improve their approach.

Silly comment. Santa’s grottos aren’t aimed at adults. Of course kids love them.

I thought Santa's didn't hug anymore fir that reason. Its a chair next to Santa.

I would sent feedback saying you don't think it was anything untoward but his actions did make them uncomfortable

The children told you they felt uncomfortable, so his behaviour was clearly 'off'. I would send an email to the organisers to flag this up with them.
Whilst maybe an initial arm round them to welcome - or for a photo, continuing for the whole time does seem odd - especially the tickling. There are ways of engaging with children that don't involve physical contact from basically a stranger.
Maybe don't take them again.....

I would be feeding this back too - I think it's really important to listen to your children on topics like this.

Can’t believe people are saying to ignore it!! That’s how predators have been in the past, doing it in plain sight!! Not saying this is the case, but it made you uncomfortable, you must say something.

Fair enough.

You know the Santa role doesn’t meet the requirements for a DBS, so he could be anyone.

You’re willing to pay good money to take your DC to see a man dressed up in a red suit and be given a present off him, and you’re unhappy that the man put his arm around their waists in full view of you?

Yes i would actually complain. It may be innocent but there's no way someone working with children should not know this already. You don't initiate physical contact in this way let alone assertively enforce it for 5 mins. Touching round the waist is a no. It's inappropriately intimate and clearly made your daughter uncomfortable. He absolutely needs telling. People brushing it off are being weird tbh. You're all fine with men touching young girls' bodies and making them feel awkward?