Anyone else proud of themselves for how much they juggle?

[dongbibi]

This isn’t meant to sound big-headed, but I had a little moment today where I thought, actually, I do quite a lot. Work, kids, house, remembering who needs what and when… and most days it all just about runs.
A neighbour was saying she feels like she’s constantly behind, and it made me realise how easy it is to only see what’s not done, instead of everything that is. I’m not perfect by any means, but the kids are happy, things get sorted, and we keep ticking along.
Just wondered if anyone else has those moments where you stop and think, yeah, this is hard, but I’m doing a decent job. Sometimes we probably all need to give ourselves a bit more credit.

My DD is always proud of her juggling skills. Which normally end up with me shrieking at her when she picks up 3 lemons in the supermarket.

She is not a great juggler. But it amuses old people and children.

Nope I mostly just think to myself "why am I such a mug?"

Why am I the only one making sure everyone is where they need to be and with what things they need

Why am I the one making all the appointments and keeping on to of all the life admin.

Why am I the one trying to get help for geographically distant elderly relatives with dementia when there are closer relative who live nearer.

Why am I the one holding down a full time job and also doing most of the work of one of my colleagues because they cant/won't work independently and management don't do anything about it even though it has been raised many times.

Why am I the only one in my team at work working overtime and going in on my days off to make sure deadlines are met when the Manager is "wfh" but regularly seen at the shops or in the pub during core hours.

But I do think you probably have a good mental attitude and are happier because of it.

It’s probably wrong as another poster is saying, for me taking on too much, but I’m the same as you. I am proud of how I juggle everything. It requires a lot of effort!

It’s not fair on many women how much we have to juggle but you’re right. We should acknowledge our achievements and our value. Just make sure your family does too.

Yes. I work full time in a very very full on job where I cannot wfh. I think I do a great job at work. At home I have four teens and given my job I am not home a lot but when I am I know I’m very present and engaged and I have a good relationship with them and they talk to me.

I’m a decent wife. My house is mainly tidy despite also having two dogs. I have a busy social life and am a good friend. I volunteer on the board of a charity. At Christmas and birthdays I choose and buy and wrap ALL the family presents. I plan and book all the family outings and holidays. My DH does do almost all the cooking and is great around the house so it’s not all me but a lot of it is. I often feel anxious and down on myself and I have to remind myself I do a LOT.

Yes tbh I am…full time job (39hrs per week), 2 dc, clean and tidy home, always on top of laundry, cook from scratch pretty much most nights. I don’t outsource anything. BUT I have a flexi time job…can wfh 2-3days per week, AND house jobs are 50:50 with DP. He is very clean and tidy too so I’m not cleaning up after him etc.

Honestly, usually not. Both my kids have additional needs, an ASD H who needs more managing and support than the kids do, only one working, I do all the organizing and planning and cajoling of others. As well as all the support of the kids. I can’t keep on top and mistakes do get made.

I always find this time of year so hard/busy,

full time working, running a small business on top aswell, 3 primary age children, I never miss a school play, spent most nights stitching costumes, meal prep always, house is reasonably exceptable (just don’t look at the ironing pile)

Yet I do only see ‘The list’ in my head and get insomnia so bad.
glad I’m not the only one!

No. I’m prouder of my delegating skills.

Yes me! Especially in the last few weeks. I've juggled my full time job (main earner) with looking after sick DD (flexible job but it means working til midnight to catch up most days to make sure everything is done before my time off). Also managed to attend all concerts/school events to be there for DC.

We always go abroad at Christmas, so I've also handled all the bookings for that, packing for me and the kids, all laundry/cleaning to get house in order before we go.

i've done most of the christmas presents ordering and wrapping for DC and extended family, and lots of back and forth in the last few weeks with bathroom shop & installer (incl organising some home visits) so it could all be ordered before the end of the year.

It is mosly the mental load of all the decisions that I find exhausting.

I feel like I have just earnt a big pat on the back so I'll just give it to myself, and give you one too!

I don't see why living an ordinary life should take so much " juggling" or "plate spinning". Sorry but it's something that I struggle to celebrate.

I used to be like this - I work full time x3 kids juggled like a pro as naturally very organised.

but now I resent it all I dont want to do it any more bored of juggling so massively pushed back to my husband!!

im mid 40's so this may be peri which has changed me!

Do you feel you don't have to juggle then?

I mean good for you. I do the same...but honestly having the easiest life you can should be whats celebrated. No one hands out medals for slogging your guts out. Women should aim for more. It's why I get fed up of women who attempt to marry wealthy men being criticised.

Yes I do I know it’s probably frowned upon to say but if I never had children I don’t think I would be capable of achieving so much. I was pretty lazy before kids but when you only have a 45 min nap window to get stuff done you learn to be efficient and motivated. I am grateful to motherhood for teaching me time management and better organisation skills. It’s definitely helped me in my career and life.

I'm prouder of the fact that I've rejected sexist expectations that I'll run around after everyone else.

That’s a very odd conclusion. Why not be sick of women who decide to remain single and/or childfree being criticised? Or women who say ‘This year, let’s get an Indian takeaway’? Or women who hire cleaners?

We try to minimise it because you don't win any prizes for it and it tends to escalate. I get that some people have it forced on them and I don't blame the individuals in these situations. Again I can't celebrate the concept because most of people who are so busy with it only have ordinary lives, seems like you lose a lot (friendships, hobbies, even personality) and gain nothing.

I think maybe the only way to not juggle is to make sacrifices.

I wonder how my 2 and 4yo would get on if I stopped running around after them.

I was sort of hoping this post was going to be about actual juggling, not metaphorical juggling.

No. Im constantly berating myself. Maybe this should be a new years resolution, be kinder to myself, because it is a lot

Didn't have my glasses on. Thought it said proud of how much you jiggle!

I used to be so proud of how much I juggled until I made myself ill with nervous exhaustion and chronic illness. These days I’m proud of saying no, listening to my body when it’s telling me it’s overwhelmed and for defying societal expectations to make rest a priority.

I know my daughter will be proud of that too!

Well, it’s like celebrating your own ability to tolerate pain, without investigating the cause of the pain and treating it.