Is the traditional wedding now a preserve of the middle classes?

[mids2019]

I was visiting family, many of whom would be described as traditional working class, and many had children with partners with never considering marriage. The reasons seemed to be that of apathy, thinking marriage was archaic and irrelevant ('piece of paper') and importantly cost which to many young people is exorbitant.

The older generations were in despair for the daughter's without the legal assurance at least of marriage when there are children and also a little sad that would never see their children married possibly with the traditions of walking their daughters down the aisle if a church wedding for instance.

Middle class families I know are cognizant of the fact that marriage legally offers a financial bedrock to a women when starting a family and many with generational wealth can spend money on a wedding that includes all the paraphernalia, dresses, suits, venues, meals, disco......

Has there now become real divides in the way we view marriage?

I don’t think class is a factor but is the fact we are not prioritising getting married in our early 20s like many did in the past. If we meet our partner later we might want to focus on starting a family than marriage. Buying a house is not easy, childcare is expensive and less reliance on grandparents for childcare. When it comes to priorities we need to get a decent job, save for a house, have stability in our job so we can have a family and hopefully get half decent mat leave. If you don’t have assets the legal protection isn’t really needed.

Im in my mid 30s and would say most of the people I know are married, some with kids, some without, some after kids, some married younger, some a bit older. There’s more ways to live your life without judgement unless it seems your ‘middle class’

I don’t understand spending thousands on one day, when myself and DH got married we didn’t have 2 pennies to rub together but it was important we married as we had the 2 kids together, of course we love each other but it was from a protection point of view, we had a church service then the reception in the village hall where we lived with a hot buffet and a ceilidh dj because a band was too expensive, all in the wedding would be less than £5,000 and this was only in 2017!

I’ve found of the big costly weddings around me the marriages haven’t lasted