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Original poster

When would you be leave secondary school age dc home alone when sick?

30 replies

SparrowSally · 17/12/2025 01:50

DS has got a virus, which means he's coughing lots, achy, headache etc. He was off Monday, went in today, but is really not right.
I've got work tomorrow. (Can be home within 10 minutes) As he'll be sleeping all day, would you stay with him, or go into work, but would leave if needed? He's in year 8, so is 13.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 17/12/2025 02:12

It's fine to leave him. Just get him to give you a call at lunchtime to check-in.

Needspaceforlego · 17/12/2025 02:16

You know your child but I'd leave mine and call at lunch. If close enough I'd maybe pop back.

tartyflette · 17/12/2025 02:18

I'd have left my DS at around 13, he was sensible and would have called me if he needed me.
You are best placed to judge really, you know your DS best, obviously.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2025 02:20

Colds and coughs, 13.

Vomiting and diarrhea, never!

elliejjtiny · 17/12/2025 02:35

I have never left my year 8 child home alone when well, although he has walked home from school occasionally. Don't think I would leave dh home alone all day when ill tbh, never mind the dc.

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2025 02:37

elliejjtiny · 17/12/2025 02:35

I have never left my year 8 child home alone when well, although he has walked home from school occasionally. Don't think I would leave dh home alone all day when ill tbh, never mind the dc.

Do you work? Becasue I can’t imagine saying to my boss, “I need the day off my DH is sick. Yes, DH, the adult man.” He’d never stop laughing.

DiscoBeat · 17/12/2025 03:10

I don't think we ever did leave them when they were sick to be honest, but I would think as you're only 10 minutes away as long as he hasn't got a high temperature it would be fine, if he's ok with it?

ThatBlackCat · 17/12/2025 03:56

If a 13 year old cannot stay at home while mum is at work, something is wrong developmentally. I've noticed helicopter parenting has gotten worse and worse. I (and also my children) were home sick alone at 10 years old. My friend got herself off to school at 8 while her single mum worked, and we walked to school together. Many of us are the latch key generation, and proudly so. We weren't wrapped in cotton wool thank goodness. We are regressing as a society when we think a 13 year old teenager cannot stay home inside for one day while sick.

ThatBlackCat · 17/12/2025 03:57

elliejjtiny · 17/12/2025 02:35

I have never left my year 8 child home alone when well, although he has walked home from school occasionally. Don't think I would leave dh home alone all day when ill tbh, never mind the dc.

Christ...

Natsku · 17/12/2025 04:34

Of course its fine to leave a 13 year old home alone when ill, I wouldn't miss work after 10 years old (that's the cut off for the right to stay off work to care for a child in my country) but for a mild illness I'd leave them younger than that too if they don't mind (9, maybe 8 but wouldn't leave DS now at 7)

Olive42 · 17/12/2025 06:10

I started to do this when DD was in Y7 but she is quite responsible and mature for her age. I wouldn't leave her if she had a fever etc... But with a bad cold and a cough, we feel comfortable going to work now. It depends on the child and how they feel too. I call her every two hours and if a family member is around, they check in at lunchtime. Someone at work did say they were going to call social services on me thinking they were being funny but she can be a bit of an idiot but I was upset by that comment, I just said,'yeah, you do that'. Some people judge no matter what you do.

Marmite27 · 17/12/2025 06:15

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/12/2025 02:37

Do you work? Becasue I can’t imagine saying to my boss, “I need the day off my DH is sick. Yes, DH, the adult man.” He’d never stop laughing.

Show quote history

I’m currently at home on my second day off work looking after my DH who has the flu. My boss didn’t laugh, but my MIL died early hours of Tuesday morning, so it would probably be in bad taste.

He is a grown man, but I had to get his brother round to help him shower so he didn’t fall, and the shivering is like nothing I’ve seen before. He wasn’t this bad when he had Scarlett fever!

CurlewKate · 17/12/2025 06:16

This is such a difficult one! There is what we would like to do and what we sometimes have to do. I don’t think I would leave a vomiting child under,maybe 13/14? But the usual cold/virus/type thing-secondary school age with regular check ins. In an ideal world probably nicer for the child to have someone with them-but we don’t live in an ideal world. They’ll be fine.

Original poster
SparrowSally · 17/12/2025 06:44

Thank you for confirming my thoughts. Feel so sorry for him, this virus is horrible!

OP posts:
Pricelessadvice · 17/12/2025 06:46

I was left at home alone with things like that at that age. Mum would ring and try and pop home at lunchtime.

Punkerplus · 17/12/2025 06:51

I was left alone at that age and despite feeling rubbish. Free access to the fridge and sky TV all day long! He'll be fine OP.

Coconutter24 · 17/12/2025 06:58

My DD is in year 8 and I’ve left her when she has been unwell. I’ve never left her when she’s throwing up but general things like headaches and bad colds I have

MuggyBonehead · 17/12/2025 07:21

I leave my 12 year old home alone sick if I need to. But if it's easy to work from home that day, then I would do that instead.

reluctantbrit · 17/12/2025 07:21

A normal cold - fine, especially as you are around the corner.

As long as there are plenty of easy accessible snacks/drinks and he is happy to be alone.

Fever, being physical sick - no.

I leave DH if he has a normal cold. I stay if it is the flu, sickness and when medically advised like after a surgery when he wasn't allowed to be on his own for 24 hours.
Things like that for children and partner are covered as compassion leave, 2 days a year or more if the manager and HR approve and WFH is not possible.

Ohwhatshoestobuy · 17/12/2025 07:27

12 years (yr 8) and phoned on the hour every hour to make sure everything was ok. He had a heavy cold.

MargaretThursday · 17/12/2025 07:30

For me it was when they were comfortable with being left, which was different ages for them.

It also depends on whether a phone call from them saying they're getting worse means jump in the car, 10 minutes drive or go and find boss, have a chat about the work you've got to hand over and an hour train.

SnipThoseApronStrings · 17/12/2025 07:30

Yes I’d leave him to rest at home.

IsitaHatOrACat · 17/12/2025 07:58

Yes I have done this (for general colds, sore thriats etc) and gone home at lunch to provide some company and a check in.
Ds is now 15.5 and has survived this long.

However it depends on the child. Mine is more self sufficient due to me being a single working parent. Friends DD (2 parents, both work from home) has never ever been home alone even when well so this wouldn't work

ThatBlackCat · 17/12/2025 07:58

Ohwhatshoestobuy · 17/12/2025 07:27

12 years (yr 8) and phoned on the hour every hour to make sure everything was ok. He had a heavy cold.

12 years (yr 8) and phoned on the hour every hour

Sorry but that is absolutely batshit! Just for a cold. He was probably wanting to sleep and you were interrupting him on the hour. He wasn't going to drop dead from a cold!

Schoolchoicesucks · 17/12/2025 13:26

elliejjtiny · 17/12/2025 02:35

I have never left my year 8 child home alone when well, although he has walked home from school occasionally. Don't think I would leave dh home alone all day when ill tbh, never mind the dc.

You wouldn't leave your DH home alone with a cold? Is your DH an adult?

I had the same dilemma as OP last week with my Y8 child, although my work is an hour away from home. In the end, DH and I managed to wangle it so that one of us was home every day. Older DC would have been home by 3 so if we'd been unable to rearrange in person meets it would have been fine too.

With older DC I think they were may even 14 when this came up and we did leave them home alone, checked in a couple of times during the day.