Do you have your own savings?

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My partner and I have always had our own savings. This was why I didn’t want to get married when we were about to have children as I had savings. I wanted to keep them just in case things didn’t work out.

We have now had a civil partnership (once they became legal for heterosexual couples.) We still have kept our own savings but I have money in an online account that he doesn’t know about.

I have never wanted to be blindsided if he left me and our children and find that I had no money. We are happy now but reading on her so many men seem to leave their wives.

What would happen if your husband left and emptied out all the joint accounts? My partner and I are very happy for now but you can’t predict the future so I want available money that he can’t touch incase he leaves me.

Yes, DH is the higher taxpayer so it makes more sense for me to actually have the bigger pot in my name.

We both have to declare our interest as we have income from abroad so each penny is declared to the HMRC.

We also have our own ISAs.

No, for us everything is joint. Been married 15 years and we’re both relatively high earners but I’m the one that deals with our main bank and investment accounts. I don’t think he knows the passwords either although I’ve told him to write them down in case I get hit by a bus.
I totally agree with keeping separate savings if there is an extreme disparity in earnings though and if one party is a SAHP.

As I said there is only one account that is actually joint, the current account. All savings are only in a single name. We consider all money to be joint though.

Also, my husband has no interest in money and probably couldn’t tell you what’s in the accounts in his name let alone mine! Plus I’m the higher earner.

You would be ok then!

@Keepoffmyartichokes It doesn't always happen when a relationship breaks down, but no one can be sure that it won’t.

My friend says that she doesn’t recognize her ex-DH, that he changed completely in a matter of months (he had an affair). Tbh I always thought he was arrogant and when he fell out of love with my friend, he treated her like dirt.

OTOH, I have other friends who have a very amicable relationship post-divorce, their new partners get on and they’ve all gone on holiday together with their children!

All out money is joint but most of our (unwrapped) savings are in my name as DH pays additional rate tax. It would all be split equally if we split up. We each have more than enough in our own names to walk out.

That’s good that you would both be ok.

I think that's lovely in theory, but when it happens it's amazing how many previously decent men want to see their wives, even the mothers of their children penniless.

You'd have to declare accounts in a financial settlement, but having some money only you can access means you'll have something to live on in the meantime.

That’s actually it! Having some money that you can access immediately just in case.

We have separate savings. Joint account for bills, a joint savings account for holidays/house repairs etc, but the bulk of our savings are separate. We both want to maintain complete control of how we manage our savings e.g. he has a regular DD into global trackers, I’ve built up a significant sum in SAYE schemes from various employers. I’m big on maxing out cash ISA allowance/premium bonds, he prefers regular investing. It’s not secret, we just have different risk appetites and priorities.

Our finances are completely transparent with each other, but completely separate. Just joint contributions to household bills. It's worked for us, we've been married for over 30 years. I have my own savings, isas, shareholdings and pensions. My husband has similar in his own name. We contribute similar amounts to large purchases like cars and home improvements.

Everything has been joint since we married 14 years ago. My only income is my salary, so it would be impossible to hide separate savings.

I'd be astounded if DH had an affair or left suddenly. His DPs remained friends after their divorce and I expect he would follow their example if we divorced.

Also, we have an offset mortgage. Emptying the accounts/ savings linked to the would be very stupid.

I would hope my partner and I stayed at least cordial as well, especially for the children’s sake but I don’t know if that would happen so I have money just incase.

We view all our money as joint, but it's in different accounts, some in my name and some in DH's. I have enough savings in my name that I'd be fine if we split or if he died. I don't work but there are enough assets that I'd be fine without a wage. It's not a secret account, but DH doesn't know the exact amount, because we're a bit lax with keeping track of these things. If we split, I would expect all our money to be split fairly.

Yes and assets in another country.
I have no children either and always took marrying and "coupling up" very seriously.
Myself first.

This, except we’re not yet married.

I have no interest whatsoever in making myself financially dependent on a man.

Yes, civil partnership gives you the same rights as marriage.

I get that bit, but I don't understand the keeping it secret part.

DH and I have a joint bank account and a joint savings account for things like Christmas and holidays. We split our long term savings 50/50 and put them into Premium Bonds in each of our names. We each have our own, separate savings in various accounts and Stocks and Shares ISAs which we view as emergency money but mainly our early retirement fund.

So all in all, I'd be ok if the relationship ended and I'd have immediate access to money. I agree that some savings in individual accounts is a good thing. But why the need for secrecy if you're married/in a civil partnership and it would have to be declared? I think I'd be really upset if DH had a secret account he kept hidden from me.

I have the secret account so he can never ask to spend that money. When I first met him he had no savings and I did so it was security for me in case we split up. He has savings now but I have never felt the need to tell him.

I (unintentionally) have slightly more than half of the savings (or at least log ins to his accounts that he doesn’t have saved) so there’s no way he could clear out the savings … but I do trust him not to, although I think he would get spiteful if I cheated.

Same, I would be fuming if DH felt like he had to keep it secret. There should be no secrets in a relationship