Lost a stone over a 4 month period, bmi now 24 but told I’m too slim

[BlondeBonBon]

That’s it really. I was pleased with my progress (lost a stone in 4 months) and my aim was to be a bit lighter still so I can do some gymnastic body weight movements which I can’t do at present. The person who told me I’m too slim has never known me to be this slim, however I was lighter (bmi of 20) till a few years ago. It’s made me feel a bit rubbish. My friend is great in every way normally, she’s a similar size to me but different shape.

Don’t worry some people get really weird when you lose weight. It’s them not you!

Some people like to take the wind out of their friends' sails. Well done for losing the weight - maybe it's the friend you need to lose next.

Well done - this tells you way more about them than you

People just get used to you looking a certain way. I lost quite a bit of weight earlier this year, and now I'm getting on for 14 weeks pregnant so, while it's not obvious, there's something there. A dear friend of mine who hadn't seen me for a bit sighed yesterday and exclaimed 'thank goodness, you've put some weight on, you look so much healthier!' I told her there was plenty more where that came from.

A BMI of 24 is perfectly healthy and you wouldn't want to gain anything, so don't let her comment bother you.

Thankyou, I saw a video of myself earlier and I’m definitely all curves still. We haven’t discussed weight before so it has made me wonder how she feels about her own body.

I would guess it’s just the surprise at you looking different, nothing to worry about 😀

I was told by someone stick thin that I needed to stop losing weight (when I was only just within normal BMI and plenty still to spare). It’s not about you, your health, or what you look like 9/10 times. It’s them speaking their own food / weight / body perception stuff onto you. Ignore (tho hard to do.)

Ignore her. She is jealous. She is trying to sabotage your efforts.

It may just be that she isn’t used to seeing you at a healthy weight so it looks shockingly thin for her.

However it may also be jealousy and wanting to keep you as the “fat friend” and wanting to have the position of being thinner than you.

Keep an eye on her and if she makes any more comments like that tell her you’re happy and pleased with your weight loss and that she’s nothing to worry about as you’re nowhere near being underweight. Make it clear that if she doesn’t have anything nice to say she should just say nothing.

Ignore. Some people just like fat people to stay in their lanes.

Congrats on the weight loss. A BMI of 24 is only just within the healthy range - it’s very unlikely to be ‘too thin’.

I have been losing weight and one thing I have discovered is that it does arouse weird feelings in others.

For one friend, I think it really upset her once I was similar size to her, like she had got used to the idea that I would always be fatter and once we were approaching the same size, it really bothered her.

I try and just blame society rather than my friends, it's made us all twisted and complicated about body image

I had a friend like that. We are both 5ft 2, I was 9 stone and she was just over 7.5 stone. I just wanted to lose half a stone and she would say I was already slim enough and insinuate I shouldn’t get too skinny. If I was going to be “too thin” at 8.5 stone, why wasn’t she too thin at 7.5 stone?

I’ve lost 2.5 stone and need to lose another 1.5. I’m amazed at how negative people are about it. I mean I’m obviously overweight even if I’m not as overweight as I was. Honestly I’ve cried about it. It’s so odd that people who are your friends aren’t rooting for you.
Well done @BlondeBonBon you should be proud of yourself

I think people just get used to seeing you a certain way so the weight loss can look a bit jarring. Also people’s perceptions of healthy is way off. You’ll often hear people say that bmi is clearly bollocks because so and sos bmi is 29 and they clearly aren’t nearly obese but actually, our perception of healthy is off and so and so is clearly carrying some extra weight. Or I hear people say that when they got their bmi into healthy range they looked ill so gained some back. They didn’t look ill at all they just had cheekbones!

It’s unfortunately very common but personally I refused to normalise that behaviour and spent my 30s weeding people like that out from my friendship circle .

When my creative career started to take off and some “friends” reacted very badly, I realised I didn’t need people who are only there listen to my struggles for entertainment and to feel better about themselves, but go silent at my successes (despite the fact I’d always cheered them on.

I still have a few acquaintances who are like that but not actual friends. Make sure you have friends who clap when you win!

Very unlikely that you are unhealthily slim at BMI 24. The person telling you this is either jealous, or (to use a MN cliche) has lost sight of what a healthy body looks like, due to the general rise of overweight and obese people.

Ignore anyone who tells you you are too slim unless you find your weight dropping to the very bottom or below the healthy BMI range. The most important thing is to make sure you are eating a healthy, balanced diet throughout your weight loss journey.

And congratulations on losing a stone - I know how hard fought it can be to lose weight when you don't have a huge amount to lose at your starting point.

You won’t be too slim with a BMI of 24. Another few pound and you would be back to overweight so there is no way you look ‘too slim’. I think people sometimes don’t like it when others lose weight and don’t want them to look better than they do. Keep going if you want to, as long as you’re eating enough to meet your nutritional requirement and stay in the healthy weight category, you’re fine. I definitely look better when my weight in in the middle of the BMI healthy category, so around 21/22 rather than the top end of healthy at 24.

The person is just jealous. Ignore them. For some reason people think they can police your weight. Well done on your weight loss.

Don't worry OP, this has happened to me many times (as I've lost and gained weight so much over the years). People much thinner than me comment that I'm "so skinny" "too thin" and many others. And my bmi is 25-26 so I'm actually still overweight, and I look it. Who knows, people are weird.

Being overweight has been so normalised that many people don’t know what’s normal any more

just reply “no I’m not too slim thank you , heavy end of normal if you must know “

I hate how normalised it is to comment on people’s bodies.

Unless someone comes to me and says “hey I’m so proud I’ve lost weight or “hey I’m really struggling with my weight gain” I wouldn’t even mention their weight.

Unless of course they really were wasting away and I was concerned - but tbh I’ve never seen anyone in my life intentionally lose so much weight as to become underweight. The ones who have gained or lost too much weight through stress etc, have always been well aware of it too, without me sticking the boot in.

Not every observation and opinion needs to be voiced.

I think weightloss is a very difficult thing for some people to deal with.!It’s a problem for the ‘person making the comment’ not you.

I have lost 8 stone since April 24. Moving from a size 20/22 to Size 8. (I also had an abdominoplasty to deal with the very sore loose skin and sew back my diastis recti muscles which had separated during my final pregnancy 23 years ago) I include this because I look very very different not just slimmer . I take more care of myself , better groomed , good haircut. More flattering clothes for my age etc.

The reaction from people who haven’t seen me for a while. (I work from home and haven’t been to the office since 2019 until last week) has been interesting.
The vast majority of colleagues were really kind and complimentary including a couple of the usual male suspects being a bit sleazy in the guise of a compliment - but I am old and quite able to counter that nonsense - so all good. The only negative comments came from a couple of colleagues who are very good mates with each other - one who is morbidly obese and her friend who is very slim and very glamorous. They ambushed me in the office kitchen and wanted to ‘have a word as they were so concerned for me’ .. this of course focussed on the safety and long term ability to maintain the loss. (I’ve not gained or lost more than 2kg in 13 months) .. and how I was now way too thin which will be bad for my general health in particular my bone health. I explained that my BMI was now 22 smack in the middle of healthy. I am now off blood pressure and statin medication. No more injections in my knees for weight induced osteoarthritis. I go to the gym 3x a week and actually enjoy it. I focus on weights and resistance work. All of this was glossed over in favour of ‘the unknown affect of weight loss medication in the long term’ and to please stop using it . (I maintain on 5mg and have always been upfront that I’ve used Mounjaro). There was no logic to the argument because the health risks of severe obesity ARE known ..the most serious of which is premature death.
This entire conversation sums up the public opinion of weightloss using WLI in a nutshell. My morbidly obese colleague had been interested in using WLI and went as far as seeing her GP where she was told that due to her comorbidities and BMI she could apply for NHS treatment. However - her best mate, naturally slim complete gym fanatic.. had frightened her off, bombarded her with negative SM reels about people dying of pancreatic failure followed by more stuff about how it will all just go back on again. It was absolutely clear to me that my slim colleague places a LOT of value on staying slim and puts the work in to remain that way and is fairly incensed by people looking like her - having not spent 30 years in the gym. I also believe she doesn’t want her obese friend to be slim as she would then not necessarily be ‘the attractive one’ when they hang out together. I have no proof for the last comment as obese colleague is very loyal to her friend and a bit in awe of her. That’s just my guess. Although I also think there could be a degree of worry about how she would cope if she ‘went off food’ as it is her ‘comfort blanket’ (her own words) and scared to lose that.

Bottom line is that anyone making negative comments upon someone who has invested time, effort and for many - money, into getting their bodies to a healthy weight, have their own issues. It really is them not you.

Well done!!! You've done a brilliant job.

People get weird about weight loss. Sometimes they want you to stay in your role as 'the fat friend' - because otherwise they might be 'the fat friend'. Sometimes they just are used to you one way, and they are unable to recognise what a healthy weight actually looks like (since I think the stats are now that most adults are at least overweight).

I (loosely - maybe talk to him once every couple of months in person) work with someone who won the “Slimming World National Slimmer of the Year” a few years ago.

I remember seeing him whilst he was on his journey and he had lost a ton of weight and looked fantastic! I made a comment on how great he looked and how good it was for his health and he told me that he still had loads to go. I was very confused as he was so slim. He then told me that his BMI was 31 so technically he was still obese. (Albeit a very different type of obese to what he was with a BMI of 45.) I really couldn’t see an ounce of fat on him because I was so used to him being so so much bigger.