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Original poster

What funeral traditions do you find odd or difficult ?

80 replies

thetallfairy · 14/12/2025 17:32

My sis in law sadly lost her father

She is in Ireland

So the house is open
She sadly lost her mother a few months ago

It was days and days of people coming and going to the house

She had lots of great support but found it hard to manage the constant stream of people going in

I know in the UK it was very different and the family home is often private

What have you noticed about traditions where you live?

OP posts:

MySilentLions · 15/12/2025 22:08

moneyadviceplease · 15/12/2025 11:30

I find the whole British Christian ish funeral etiquette bizarre. I can’t imagine having to wait weeks for a funeral. I love that we have our funerals the next day and nobody gets worried about funeral outfits you go as you are be that in jeans or whatever. I can’t imagine having to choose a service and hymns or a casket. I love we tell the burial society about the death and they do everything, we just turn up and everyone has the same coffin and the same service and is dressed in the same shroud. We go equally as we arrive equally.

Where is this, if you can say?

abracadabra1980 · 17/12/2025 14:40

@HoppityBun - @DappledThings speaks for me; technically you are right - however where I'm from we have always called the 'reception', the wake.

Soonenough · 17/12/2025 14:59

There can be a sense of tradition that is quite peaceful for people . Especially the Irish follow a time honoured pattern that has existed for many years . Open coffins in the home , staying up with the corpse , same prayers , same ritual. And the reception afterwards can be as elaborate or simple as you like . The practice of too much drinking has pretty much gone out . It used to mostly men anyway . But there are still laughter at funny stories about the deceased . Having a grave to visit is also comforting as a way of including their memory in your life .
But I would never presume to tell anyone of a right or wrong way to deal with a funeral of a loved one .

Jellycatspyjamas · 17/12/2025 15:10

Mhvybffbdcrvtvd · 14/12/2025 21:55

I don’t like the fact that some people get very jolly at funerals. I don’t necessarily mean the drinking, but I don’t like it when people start laughing at funerals, it just feels disrespectful. I understand the concept of “celebrating the life of . . . .”, but I don’t like it, because of the sad feeling that they are dead. I think “mourning” just feels more appropriate to me. I think I just prefer things to be more traditional.

a close friend died recently and each of her children spoke about their relationship with their mum. There were tears but also laughter, which characterised their relationship with their mum, and mine as her friend. Those young adults were utterly heartbroken but they also remembered their mum in all her glorious personality. It was a funeral that exactly reflected her and was truly beautiful.

LancashireButterPie · 17/12/2025 15:21

I'm of Irish heritage and Catholic.
I like the solemnity, rituals and traditions of a Faith I've been brought up in and imagine others feel the same.
I think the piss up afterwards is just a reflection of certain family traditions, my family isn't like that and wouldn't drink more than a toast, however I've no issue with those that do.
People have different ways of coping and whatever gets you through.

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