Page 11 | Xmas version of things you wouldn't admit in real life....

TinselTina · 2025-12-12T11:24:10+00:00

I wish people would stop mentioning my 5 foot 3 height like im an outlier. I cannt believe I married my ex. I needed to be in a mental hospital not marched up the aisle. I dont care if my child is clever or not.

BeanQuisine · 14/12/2025 07:47

pictoosh · 14/12/2025 07:27

Charity shops don't want toiletries gift sets from the 3 for 2 offer from Boots.
No one does.

While I don't use most of that stuff myself (but do use medical-grade moisturiser), I find it hard to believe that such apparently popular products are only ever bought as unwelcome gifts.

Surely many of those who buy them as gifts do so because they'd be glad to receive (and use) the stuff themselves.

MrsB2025 · 14/12/2025 07:47

pictoosh · 14/12/2025 07:37

If it makes you feel better to pass your unwanted crap on to someone else to dispose of (charity shop staff or raffle 'winner') then bash on.
Either way, that hand cream is going in the bin.

Imagine being able to trace the journey of a hand cream won at a raffle 😂 how many times it’s been regifted, how many charity shop shelves it’s graced all because each person wants to pass on the responsibility of binning it. It’s like a new level of “pay it forward” pay forward the guilt of binning unwanted tat so you can sleep at night.

RampantIvy · 14/12/2025 07:50

pictoosh · 14/12/2025 07:39

The problem really does lie with consumers buying it in the first place.

I agree with you there.
I do use hand cream so always keep any that I am given.

I don't buy people I don't know well toiletries. I know what my sister likes so I might buy her some occasionally and it is always appreciated. A workmate likes Soap and Glory and she was genuinely delighted when she got some in a work secret santa (I drew her name).

People don't buy me random toiletry gift sets either.

Differentforgirls · 14/12/2025 08:14

RampantIvy · 14/12/2025 00:11

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She’s right though…

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:17

RampantIvy · 14/12/2025 07:50

I agree with you there.
I do use hand cream so always keep any that I am given.

I don't buy people I don't know well toiletries. I know what my sister likes so I might buy her some occasionally and it is always appreciated. A workmate likes Soap and Glory and she was genuinely delighted when she got some in a work secret santa (I drew her name).

People don't buy me random toiletry gift sets either.

Show quote history

Exactly. Some people use hand cream - I do, I keep any that I get given in a drawer and use it up over time.

Lots of people like Bayliss and Harding or Soap and Glory (I actually have quite liked the soap and glory stuff I’ve had).

I don’t buy into the ’because I don’t deem them acceptable for my tastes and preferences, nobody else could ever make use of them, therefore I’m entitled to just bin them and anyone who doesn’t agree with this practice is a hypocrite or ground level empath - whatever the fuck one of those is.’

My Christmas thing I wouldn’t say out loud is that I’d never leave my elderly relative on their own at Christmas but hosting them is a fucking ballache, and that my normally lovely husband who does easily his fair share the rest of the year tends to resort to a sulky teenage boy at Christmas who expects everything to be made magical for him whilst doing next to nothing himself, and when this is pointed out (somewhat angrily) tends to come down with a mystery illness as an excuse to be even more useless than he was already being. My in laws are somewhat the same, ‘oh I don’t know how you bother’ ‘oh we don’t bother anymore’ ‘oh it’s too much I wouldn’t be bothered’ - well I bother because I enjoy it and my daughter enjoys it, and you don’t seem to mind when you rock up and spend the day enjoying all the results of how much I’ve bothered - and the fact we have to have you every year means we can’t go to my own family where I might actually get a break from bothering! And we have to have the long, sad conversation about how sad it is that DH’s gran, who was indeed lovely, is no longer with us since she died 5 years ago at the age of 92, and FIL performs his great grief like he’s the only person who ever lost a parent (well into his 70s) and I, who was an orphan by 11, and lost my adoptive parents when I was 15 and 32, and my beloved adoptive mum died in the most traumatic way, far too young, in front of me AT CHRISTMAS but we can never mention that or bring it up because that would be bringing everyone down. And still I am somehow expected to be the one brining the magic. And I do it for my daughter but I hate that I might be instilling in her the expectation that she’ll have to be the one doing it for everyone else one day.

That was more miserable than I intended when I started typing. It’s such a bloody cliche too and I’m annoyed with myself for falling into it - I promise my husband really is great the rest of the time (he’s just brought me a tea and told me to have a lie in as I look tired, whilst he wrangles DD downstairs, despite the fact that this is his first day off in ages and he’s been doing long hours). Something about Christmas just makes him a bit twat-like and I wish it didn’t because it takes the shine off every year. But despite the massive rant, and the associated trauma mentioned above, I do actually love the build up and am able to find lots to enjoy about the day each year, and know how lucky I am to have my amazing daughter and other family members around even if I grumble about them - also they always do the washing/ clearing up and I enjoy the cooking part!

Runnersandtoms · 14/12/2025 08:17

MrsB2025 · 12/12/2025 14:34

I throw loads of Christmas gifts away every single year. I feel terrible but I receive so much shit every fucking year. I don’t want presents but I can’t say that as it sounds miserable. But just tat. Clutter. Hand creams. Bath stuff (I don’t own a bath). Smelly stuff that smells like piss. I smile and pretend to be grateful every year. But it all goes in the bin.

I'm not judging bit I do hate waste. I absolutely take your point that regifting, donating selling all take effort but there's no way I could throw away brand new gifts. In your situation I would outright tell people please don't buy me gifts.

MidnightMusing5 · 14/12/2025 08:21

Would it be too much of an effort to give it to charity? (To the person who bins all the gifts)

Differentforgirls · 14/12/2025 08:24

pictoosh · 14/12/2025 07:23

@MrsB2025
Just to say, I agree with you on this thread.

Me too.

pictoosh · 14/12/2025 08:24

'Toiletry gift sets' is simply a cover-all term for any of the guff that people are passing around just because it's Christmas.

Personally speaking, I would love it if we made a national decision to scale it all back a bit and apply some hygge. Time over money. An extra week off and far less novelty tat in the shops. Small businesses raking it in as people ditch the haemorrhaging cash approach and buy thoughtful gifts for loved ones only. Good food, time off, fairy lights and far less pressure.

The cost of living crisis would be an ideal time to implement it but it will never ever happen. It's only a daydream.

DBSFstupid · 14/12/2025 08:24

catzrulz · 14/12/2025 03:39

I'm still annoyed that last Christmas Sil and her grown up family said they would split the cost of the food with us and not one of them has offered so much as a penny. We bought and cooked everything and hosted 8 of them, just me and DH here.
Hints have been dropped for this year, we've told them we are going away. We're not.

Why don't you just tell them? This is so out of order @catzrulz

MrsB2025 · 14/12/2025 08:27

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:17

Exactly. Some people use hand cream - I do, I keep any that I get given in a drawer and use it up over time.

Lots of people like Bayliss and Harding or Soap and Glory (I actually have quite liked the soap and glory stuff I’ve had).

I don’t buy into the ’because I don’t deem them acceptable for my tastes and preferences, nobody else could ever make use of them, therefore I’m entitled to just bin them and anyone who doesn’t agree with this practice is a hypocrite or ground level empath - whatever the fuck one of those is.’

My Christmas thing I wouldn’t say out loud is that I’d never leave my elderly relative on their own at Christmas but hosting them is a fucking ballache, and that my normally lovely husband who does easily his fair share the rest of the year tends to resort to a sulky teenage boy at Christmas who expects everything to be made magical for him whilst doing next to nothing himself, and when this is pointed out (somewhat angrily) tends to come down with a mystery illness as an excuse to be even more useless than he was already being. My in laws are somewhat the same, ‘oh I don’t know how you bother’ ‘oh we don’t bother anymore’ ‘oh it’s too much I wouldn’t be bothered’ - well I bother because I enjoy it and my daughter enjoys it, and you don’t seem to mind when you rock up and spend the day enjoying all the results of how much I’ve bothered - and the fact we have to have you every year means we can’t go to my own family where I might actually get a break from bothering! And we have to have the long, sad conversation about how sad it is that DH’s gran, who was indeed lovely, is no longer with us since she died 5 years ago at the age of 92, and FIL performs his great grief like he’s the only person who ever lost a parent (well into his 70s) and I, who was an orphan by 11, and lost my adoptive parents when I was 15 and 32, and my beloved adoptive mum died in the most traumatic way, far too young, in front of me AT CHRISTMAS but we can never mention that or bring it up because that would be bringing everyone down. And still I am somehow expected to be the one brining the magic. And I do it for my daughter but I hate that I might be instilling in her the expectation that she’ll have to be the one doing it for everyone else one day.

That was more miserable than I intended when I started typing. It’s such a bloody cliche too and I’m annoyed with myself for falling into it - I promise my husband really is great the rest of the time (he’s just brought me a tea and told me to have a lie in as I look tired, whilst he wrangles DD downstairs, despite the fact that this is his first day off in ages and he’s been doing long hours). Something about Christmas just makes him a bit twat-like and I wish it didn’t because it takes the shine off every year. But despite the massive rant, and the associated trauma mentioned above, I do actually love the build up and am able to find lots to enjoy about the day each year, and know how lucky I am to have my amazing daughter and other family members around even if I grumble about them - also they always do the washing/ clearing up and I enjoy the cooking part!

Edited

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**sorry. I’m cringing at myself for the ground level empath comment. I tried to Google quickly as I was responding, a way to articulate what I meant but it failed. I think I meant surface level empath. But either way it’s not really adding anything to my argument in this matter 🏳️

thepariscrimefiles · 14/12/2025 08:27

namegames2 · 13/12/2025 20:35

So I have a sister in law (DH brother’s girlfriend) who has always been a bit mean and to be completely honest, downright not very nice at times. We popped round a couple of years ago to drop off Christmas presents as pre arranged by her, for her to turn around and say she isn’t doing gifts this year and had nothing (not even a card) for our DC. I had bought her a Pandora charm which wasn’t cheap and one I knew she would have liked. I decided she wasn’t having it and slipped the charm out of the bag and gave her the empty bag which she put under the tree.

She had the cheek to message me and say it was empty and I just said o no it must have fell out. I still have it now and wear it on my own pandora bracelet and it always makes me smile.

That's amazing! Serves the devious twat right!

Jayne35 · 14/12/2025 08:32

pictoosh · 14/12/2025 07:32

A bottle of shower gel, yes. Useful. You can buy one of your choice from a selection at the supermarket for a pound. You don't need to buy it at a charity shop, even if you're skint.

Hand cream, no. Bath bombs, no. Body cream, no. Hand soap, no. Just tat.

The only thing I used to throw away from a gift set was the moisturiser, now however I started using it for my feet (diabetes nurse recommended) so I am hoping I receive some this year, along with shower gel, lip balm and hand cream.

Greencactusgirl · 14/12/2025 08:34

ForFunGoose · 12/12/2025 20:56

Every year since I got married my MIL drops us in homemade ham, stuffing and cake.
I have always thought it was very rude especially the years they don’t spend here.
I am capable of making a f**ging dinner!
Christmas Day is then taken up with complimenting the food AAAGGHHHHH!

Id rather eat pizza

Would love it if someone did that for me and definitely wouldn’t feel it offensive.

thepariscrimefiles · 14/12/2025 08:35

MrsB2025 · 13/12/2025 21:08

It’s amazing how this entire thread has now turned into a discussion about my one personal comment, something I simply wanted to get off my chest in what I thought was a safe space to speak freely without being judged or shamed.

I stepped away from this thread because someone called me shameful. I keep being drawn back in because people are judging and shaming me about it. Virtue signalling hypocrites.

It’s boring now. This isn’t my thread. I simply tried to contribute but was met with a true MN style pile on. Sorry OP. Wish I never bothered contributing as it seems to have taken away from the casual nature of your thread.

I always thought that a 'confessions' thread was supposed to be a non-judgemental space for people to offload something that they can't tell people in real life.

Also, the number of people who have jumped onto the thread to scold you must surely realise that their comment is totally unoriginal (and against the spirit of the thread) and that loads of posters have posted exactly the same things days ago.

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:39

MrsB2025 · 14/12/2025 08:27

**sorry. I’m cringing at myself for the ground level empath comment. I tried to Google quickly as I was responding, a way to articulate what I meant but it failed. I think I meant surface level empath. But either way it’s not really adding anything to my argument in this matter 🏳️

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The thing is, you’re probably right about what the bigger problem is.

I try very hard to be thoughtful and intentional in my gift buying, DD’s main gift is a plastic monstrosity this year but I got it second hand for that very reason. I’m typing this on a second hand phone because I never buy them new. I don’t like waste and I really do try to support local charities like the food bank and the one for vulnerable new mums - which is why I know that the ones near here anyway would absolutely be glad of this stuff. So to me, it seems madness to throw out stuff that others absolutely could make use of and just plain snobby to think that because it’s a cheaper brand nobody would want it.

That said, I’m 100% in agreement with the point that it’s the relentless commercialism and pressure to buy these things and swap essentially meaningless gifts that’s the issue. And I’m not above getting swept up in it, or resorting to sending via Amazon to those people I do buy for. I’d love to buy from lovely little independent local businesses but barely get time to dash round the supermarket for food most weeks, and particularly not in the run up to Christmas which is an insanely busy time at work. You’re right that what people do with the unwanted gifts is probably the least bit of the overall problem, but wrong in my opinion about the gifts not being good for anything other than the bin.

I’d love it if we could all collectively decide we’re going to prioritise time together and not buying and wrapping more and more stuff. Even in my ‘just buy for the children’ family - that’s still 16 children that I buy for, and 16 or more additional gifts for Dd who really doesn’t need them. She’s asked for the plastic monstrosity, but beyond that she wants a bouncy ball and a colouring book and I wish I had the courage of my convictions to just stick with that!

DBSFstupid · 14/12/2025 08:41

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:17

Exactly. Some people use hand cream - I do, I keep any that I get given in a drawer and use it up over time.

Lots of people like Bayliss and Harding or Soap and Glory (I actually have quite liked the soap and glory stuff I’ve had).

I don’t buy into the ’because I don’t deem them acceptable for my tastes and preferences, nobody else could ever make use of them, therefore I’m entitled to just bin them and anyone who doesn’t agree with this practice is a hypocrite or ground level empath - whatever the fuck one of those is.’

My Christmas thing I wouldn’t say out loud is that I’d never leave my elderly relative on their own at Christmas but hosting them is a fucking ballache, and that my normally lovely husband who does easily his fair share the rest of the year tends to resort to a sulky teenage boy at Christmas who expects everything to be made magical for him whilst doing next to nothing himself, and when this is pointed out (somewhat angrily) tends to come down with a mystery illness as an excuse to be even more useless than he was already being. My in laws are somewhat the same, ‘oh I don’t know how you bother’ ‘oh we don’t bother anymore’ ‘oh it’s too much I wouldn’t be bothered’ - well I bother because I enjoy it and my daughter enjoys it, and you don’t seem to mind when you rock up and spend the day enjoying all the results of how much I’ve bothered - and the fact we have to have you every year means we can’t go to my own family where I might actually get a break from bothering! And we have to have the long, sad conversation about how sad it is that DH’s gran, who was indeed lovely, is no longer with us since she died 5 years ago at the age of 92, and FIL performs his great grief like he’s the only person who ever lost a parent (well into his 70s) and I, who was an orphan by 11, and lost my adoptive parents when I was 15 and 32, and my beloved adoptive mum died in the most traumatic way, far too young, in front of me AT CHRISTMAS but we can never mention that or bring it up because that would be bringing everyone down. And still I am somehow expected to be the one brining the magic. And I do it for my daughter but I hate that I might be instilling in her the expectation that she’ll have to be the one doing it for everyone else one day.

That was more miserable than I intended when I started typing. It’s such a bloody cliche too and I’m annoyed with myself for falling into it - I promise my husband really is great the rest of the time (he’s just brought me a tea and told me to have a lie in as I look tired, whilst he wrangles DD downstairs, despite the fact that this is his first day off in ages and he’s been doing long hours). Something about Christmas just makes him a bit twat-like and I wish it didn’t because it takes the shine off every year. But despite the massive rant, and the associated trauma mentioned above, I do actually love the build up and am able to find lots to enjoy about the day each year, and know how lucky I am to have my amazing daughter and other family members around even if I grumble about them - also they always do the washing/ clearing up and I enjoy the cooking part!

Edited

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Really sad for you @AliasGrape I'm so sorry for your loses and at such a young age too.💔

thepariscrimefiles · 14/12/2025 08:43

Humbugsweets · 14/12/2025 00:37

This ⬆️

A couple of years ago I spoke to SIL about not buying for their 27 year old son but then it got really awkward as she was insisting I include them as I'd be buying for their 16 year old siblings (as well as other younger relatives).

Wouldn't mind but I never get a thank you, they don't bother with his grandparents on our side of the family but still expect Xmas and birthday money from them. They don't even wish any of us happy birthday!!!

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I'd just stop buying for the 16 year old siblings as well as the 27 year old. They sound like entitled cheeky fuckers.

TaraRhu · 14/12/2025 08:44

I don't like Xmas dinner. I don't like roasts generally. I wish we could have something else.

Xmas on our house is boring. Never enough people to make it fun.

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:45

DBSFstupid · 14/12/2025 08:41

Really sad for you @AliasGrape I'm so sorry for your loses and at such a young age too.💔

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Ah thank you. I have a lovely life mostly and even though the in laws grind my gears sometimes they’re good people too. As is my husband despite the seasonal lapses (which he’s been told won’t be tolerated this year and if he gets ill then he’s on his own!). It did rather turn into a pity party there didn’t it - sometimes does you good to vent but generally we do manage to have a nice day - and in some way it feels like I stay connected to my mum because she was always doing this shit too to make it special for me 😆

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 14/12/2025 08:49

I hate Christmas presents. 99% of the time they are just generic unwanted tat that goes down to the charity shop in January. Our Christmases are 100% better since we agreed a no presents policy.

Hmm1234 · 14/12/2025 08:50

humptydumptyfelloff · 12/12/2025 13:25

I really dislike my in laws and always have.

Fil gives me the shivers when we are in the same room so I don’t put myself near him.

I wish my dh would stop being a moody twat

Ewww I hope you keep the kids away from him then if he’s making you feel that awkward

DBSFstupid · 14/12/2025 08:50

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:45

Ah thank you. I have a lovely life mostly and even though the in laws grind my gears sometimes they’re good people too. As is my husband despite the seasonal lapses (which he’s been told won’t be tolerated this year and if he gets ill then he’s on his own!). It did rather turn into a pity party there didn’t it - sometimes does you good to vent but generally we do manage to have a nice day - and in some way it feels like I stay connected to my mum because she was always doing this shit too to make it special for me 😆

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It didn't come across as a pity party at all. Quite the opposite. You have had horrendous loses in your life. Wishing you well @AliasGrape xx

DontPokeMe · 14/12/2025 08:51

All this "it's for the kids." Pile of presents I save and go without for are demolished in 5 seconds flat.

The shitty bag of regifted crap I receive from an in-law in an attempt not to leave me out.

Too much dried fruit in everything at this time of year.

The fuckin Snow Man.

New Year is depressing.

I have to tidy up all the bollocks in January.

There's always something Christmas themed that doesn't make it back into the loft and it spends the year floating around the house.

MrsB2025 · 14/12/2025 08:55

AliasGrape · 14/12/2025 08:39

The thing is, you’re probably right about what the bigger problem is.

I try very hard to be thoughtful and intentional in my gift buying, DD’s main gift is a plastic monstrosity this year but I got it second hand for that very reason. I’m typing this on a second hand phone because I never buy them new. I don’t like waste and I really do try to support local charities like the food bank and the one for vulnerable new mums - which is why I know that the ones near here anyway would absolutely be glad of this stuff. So to me, it seems madness to throw out stuff that others absolutely could make use of and just plain snobby to think that because it’s a cheaper brand nobody would want it.

That said, I’m 100% in agreement with the point that it’s the relentless commercialism and pressure to buy these things and swap essentially meaningless gifts that’s the issue. And I’m not above getting swept up in it, or resorting to sending via Amazon to those people I do buy for. I’d love to buy from lovely little independent local businesses but barely get time to dash round the supermarket for food most weeks, and particularly not in the run up to Christmas which is an insanely busy time at work. You’re right that what people do with the unwanted gifts is probably the least bit of the overall problem, but wrong in my opinion about the gifts not being good for anything other than the bin.

I’d love it if we could all collectively decide we’re going to prioritise time together and not buying and wrapping more and more stuff. Even in my ‘just buy for the children’ family - that’s still 16 children that I buy for, and 16 or more additional gifts for Dd who really doesn’t need them. She’s asked for the plastic monstrosity, but beyond that she wants a bouncy ball and a colouring book and I wish I had the courage of my convictions to just stick with that!

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I understand. And I’m sorry for your losses too.

Though my thoughts haven’t changed about binning the tat, as the issue really is at the higher level and on a bigger scale that we can be programmed into shaming each other to make any kind of notable change, I am definitely considering a conversation with the family and friends about just buying for the children each year instead.