Is it normal for me to be so tired

[lharris1]

Young, in shape (around 53kg) no dependants, living alone in London. I also take iron supplements daily as have often been anaemic in past.

I feel like I don’t have an excuse to be feeling tired. 8+ hours is a long time to sleep surely? How are people coping with working full time with caring responsibilities

I sleep just before midnight, then wake up at around 8.40am. I still really struggle waking up in the morning so may even snooze alarm for an extra 10 mins but I have to be logged in to my work laptop by 9.
I’ll often ‘work’ (attend morning meetings camera off) from bed for first hour which I know is bad/gross but I’m just too exhausted to get up properly.

Only by 10am-ish do I feel more awake.

After work (finish anywhere from 5.30 - 6.30) I’m then too tired to cook so most of the time grab a healthier ready meal from supermarket for dinner.

The odd evening after work I may have plans with friends and will force myself to fight tiredness because of it. However, the next morning will suffer with more tiredness.

Hello, this doesn’t sound like the norm as it’s a lot of sleep to still feel this way. Ask GO for blood test - iron studies, vit D, folate, B12. How is your mental health?

Try extra sleep first.

Are you getting plenty of fresh air and exercise?

That’s really interesting, I was diagnosed with autism at 22 (private assessment)

I am not surprised you are tired. You are staying up late, not giving yourself time in the morning to shower, eat, have a cuppa staring into space, you don't have exercise built into your day and work long hours 9-6.30 is a long day unless you're taking over an hour's lunch. Prioritise self care and get into a healthy sleep routine ( no caffeine/ screens/ food/ booze) right before bed.

Apart from what has been recommended already, what about going to yoga or for a swim in the evenings, or any other activity that relaxes you and tires you out so you feel like going to bed earlier. It's absolutely fine to need more than 8 hours sleep, plenty of people do, but restful sleep is important (no phone once in bed?).

I would get checked out at your GP. I was like that for months (although I am a bit over weight and have 2 adult kids one with complex disabilities). For months I was tired all the time kept falling asleep on the couch. I thought I was just run down I also have bouts of anemia and take supplements when I remember, I thought it was the early stages of menopause or even Graves’ disease as I was constantly emotional. I had all my bloods checked out and although my iron was in its boots again there was nothing else wrong. I was eventually diagnosed with ME or chronic fatigue syndrome. My GP thinks that when I had Covid (thankfully only once but it was awful) my immune system has been compromised and so now anytime I have the cold my body can no longer cope with it the way it used to. It’s an awful thing to live with but I try to make the most of it. Good luck OP hope you get some answers

I second this. I'm mid 30s, diagnosed a few years ago and your sleep and alert pattern sounds just like mine. It's pretty typical for people with adhd to have a later circadian rhythm - classic night owls most of us.

It sounds as if you've always had this circadian rhythm if you've built your career around it. Anxiety and depression are common comormidities.

While you should definitely have your bloods checked like others suggest and cut down on alcohol, look up adhd symptoms in women and girls and see if it feels like a fit.

Wake up lights are great for helping to get you alert quicker too in the mornings

Fatigue can be a thing for those who are neurodivergent, the pressure of conforming to a neurotypical world and sensory overwhelm etc.

You could look at having more regular decompression time, reducing stimuli, finding a mindful activity to do , etc. Some women with autism eventually figure out they just need to lead a slower paced life to feel their best.

I was just going to ask about neuro diversity. I have struggled with excessive tiredness for years and only recently have I figured ND has probably contributed somewhat to it. The whole masking during work, over thinking, chronic people pleasing, its exhausting. But also, its worth seeing a GP, have your bloods checked, routine stuff like full blood count but also iron studies, ferritin,.folate, b12. If you don't already make sure you are getting plenty of whole foods, drinking plenty of fluids and getting at least 8 hours every night.

Get bloods taken, thyroid hormones in particular.
If no light shed from that then a sleep study might be no harm if u can get one - sleep apnea is more common than one would think

As pp have said, you should speak to your GP and have some tests. Coeliac Disease can cause extreme tiredness due to your body being malnourished as you're unable to effectively absorb nutrients.

Not to sound alarmist but do you have a carbon monoxide monitor? You never know if your boiler could be leaking x

Going to sleep just before midnight is very late.
Could you go to bed earlier and you might find that it’s easier to get up on time

I am 63 and overweight, even when I was clinically depressed I didn't have that much trouble getting up- definitely book an appointment with your GP immediately.

Sounds like you might need some ‘alerting’ sensory breaks in your day. Google search sensory circuits. They’re usually used for people who need to refocus into a calm and alert state for being able to get on with work/school and are regularly used for autistic children in school. However it doesn’t sound like you need the full circuit, but the alerting exercises and potentially the focussing ones. This is why many people for for walk, gym, hi impact type classes etc. They get the endorphins going and wakes your brain up.

You seem to have got used to not alerting yourself during the day and just moving from sleep to work. Your body is in the blue zone (tired/ill/depressed) and you need to get yourself to the green zone. (Zones of regulation are also used in schools to help children who struggle with self regulation so strategies are put in place to help them move between zones. All zones are fine and serve different purposes but it sounds like you’re living in a blue zone/.

I’d definitely get a GP check for bloods as others have suggested, really look at whether you’re getting into a depression state by maintain the lack of movement and not being motivated. Whilst medications might sort out some of the issues if there are physiological reasons for your tiredness but your body needs some maintenance as well.

@lharris1 when I was like this, I was treated for depression/low mood. I didn't feel depressed, I felt exhausted. I was sleeping for 14 hours, yet could barely function.
I eventually got tested for sleep apnea.

As it turned out I was waking 54 times in an hour. You don't know you are waking, you're certainly not resting.
I got a machine to force continuous air in to me. It's not as horrific as it sounds. Takes a little gtg used to. I can't explain the difference this has made to my life.
Ask others if they have possibly noticed that you seem to hold your breath when asleep and then splutter awake?

Ask your GP for a referral to a sleep clinic. The test is pretty simple. And the diagnosis is life changing.

Hi, I felt as exhausted as you are for many years and discovered, after eventually seeing a private doctor who had more time and experience than our local doctors, that I have a condition called severe obstructive sleep apnoea, where people can stop breathing ‘properly’ while they are asleep, sometimes people have up to 90 non breathing episodes an hour while sleeping. Do you snore at all? That can be a symptom.

However I suspect you don’t have sleep apnoea as it’s rarer in younger slim people, but it can affect children and younger people who are slim as well as, as more usually happens, older and overweight individuals.

My life has changed totally for the better since I discovered I have this condition as I am now getting good treatment for it, and am now awake all day, feeling invigorated and am much happier.

A friend who is a psychiatrist says that one must exclude physical causes of ill health before looking at possible MH causes.

Hope you feel less tired soon 💕

Agree it could be thyroid/iron or vitamin deficiency issues. It could also be dehydration. How much water do you drink a day?
Are you having any night sweats?
The symptoms you are having could be easily fixed but they can also be indicators of more serious issues, esp the extreme fatigue. I’d get to the drs for an overall health check just to be on the safe side.

Get a full blood test.

I was like that a few years ago and waz like a walking zombie. Anemic and can't absorb B12 and very low folic acid (always thought it was just for pregnant women).

The b12 took longer to stablise (regular injections now) but the folic acid worked quicker.

It’s very frowned upon saying it on here but working from home made me feel like this, demotivated and tired. Do you feel more energised out and about on the weekend? Also yes midnight is too late before a working day.

Other things to rule out - thyroid issues, vitamin D deficiency, hormone issues. Iron, ferritin.

General things that help sluggishness (in my experience) reduce caffeine to morning only, drink more water, move as much as you can, morning light before any screens, nature walks even small ones in a park or garden.

Too much iron is bad for you.

Vitamin d3 plus k2. And vitamin b12, or a vitamin b complex. Will help you LOADS. stay hydrated also.

sleep onset difficulties and poor quality of sleep are so common in ND people.

Do you have a smart watch? My Audhd son has always struggled with sleep and giving him a Fitbit made me (and his paediatrician) realise how long it took him to get to sleep, and how many times he actually woke up in the night.

Before puberty, melatonin helped. But, despite upping the dose, it stopped working at about age 15. So he is now taking an adhd med at bedtime, as it helps his brain to calm down a bit.

His sleep still isn’t great, he yawns throughout the day, but it is better than it was.

Are you getting quality sleep though? You could have sleep apnea?

Get your b12 checked. Don’t take supplements until you have test results. Ma need b12 injections .