Does anyone else get sad at Christmas for no reason at all?

[tinkersfig]

I think it’s the music. I have a great Christmas really, loads of fun on the day and a fairly big family but on the run up to it, I feel a bit teary!

I’ve put my tree up today and had the music on and I’m sat here feeling a bit blue.

I definitely get the Christmas blues. It’s actually more to do with the people pleasing, the pressure and having to split time with DC’s dad so that everyone gets to spend time with everyone. So I don’t think it’s the same as you OP but you definitely aren’t alone!

Nostalgia

Same here. I get very melancholic. I think it is a mixture of pining for Christmases past- when my Mum was alive and when certainly family members were happier. And pining for my children's younger years. They are only 11 and 14 now which is still lovely but I'm acutely aware that we haven't got many Christmases left with them at home. I worry about being lonely at Christmas in the future and then felt guilty for not doing more and enjoying the present but also guilty getting so stressed with the kids and hubby. Did a really nice Christmas thing last night but it began with me shouting at the kids as they weren't helping and they were fighting and it made us late. Then ended the night having a huge fight with DH.

The music used to make me feel sad too. Especially the old ones. I figured out it was because of some unhappy xmases when I was little. I was in therapy for other reasons and did a lot of healing and now I enjoy Xmas movies. Not saying anything bad / sad happened to you as a child but could be a locked memory?

I find it the most depressing time of the year. It's dark, miserable weather, pressure to spend money on rubbish, pressure to be happy, too many memories of past Christmasses that might have been horrible, traumatic etc. Shops very crowded. Horrible music in shops. It's repetitive, boring and pointless. If it was just about pretty lights and nice food, it'd be tolerable, but the noise, waste and drunkeness doesn't interest me at all. It's got bugger all to do with Christianity now as well, it's just reverted back to the Roman Saturnalia festival and the Romans were as annoying as anything.

I try to just ignore it and do the bare minimum. I don't do social stuff or have small children and loads of relatives, so it's not so bad now. I love it when January comes because it means it's all over and things can get back to normal.

Have you looked into the possibility you may have seasonal affective disorder (SAD)?

Its actually most common over Christmas but can affect someone anytime of the year.

Oh gosh, yes. Every year as long as I remember I get intense feelings of nostalgia: missing childhood and the reminder of the passage of time.

Yes, I've family problems, although my own little family is great. I just feel the gap at this time of year.

💐 OP

yeah, I think all the best Christmas films are the ones that are a bit bittersweet.

It's probably a mix of the time of year and weather (naturally a bit depressing!), looking back on Christmasses past, missing people who aren't with you, contrast between expectations and reality, worry about money, and so on. Because it's probably the biggest event of the calendar year it will always remind you of the passage of time, which often makes people sad as well. Same as the way birthdays often provoke mixed feelings on a more personal level.

Yes, it’s the music, and the way that it brings back memories of previous Christmases and people who are no longer with us.
I’m a HCP, and worked with elderly people with dementia for years: many weren’t able to have a lucid conversation anymore, but we’d have carol singers coming in, and these people would sing along with every word: that power of music never failed to move me.

I do get sad at Xmas. I think for me it’s because it hasn’t always been a happy time and I associate it with stress and unhappiness. You wouldn’t know it to look at me/ my family as we have a busy and happy Xmas but I personally am usually happier on Boxing Day once it’s all done.

I've been feeling it today 😢 Listening to Christmas music that reminds me of childhood Christmases and family members that are no longer here 😞 and seeing an old lady today that reminded me of my nan 😭

I get sad and happy, I used to get broody too!

I get weepy, angry, tired and stressed. I have had some truly wonderful Christmases, and some that were like plots from a soap opera with horrendous family rows. I guess that at this time of year my mind wanders back to all these mixed memories, like a snow globe of emotions What is making it so painful this year is the fact that a young family member died suddenly in shocking circumstances and we are truly dreading this Christmas. I had to run out of a shop in tears the other day, all the music, the decorations and all I could think was "this time last year they were alive and none of us realised this was their last Christmas and they only had 5 months to live" my head just can't accept it, I am so deep in grief. Not really doing Christmas this year, will put a little tree up and some lights because I think I will feel even more bleak if I don't. The happy memories feel especially painful because of the contrast of what we are going through now. Christmas will never be truly happy again.

Yes. I particularly hate the week between Christmas and New Year as for some reason I feel really down around then. Not sure why.

Nostalgia for those simple Christmases when I was a child and all I had to do was show up! The music gets me as well every time, bloody Slade especially for some reason.

Christmas music always stirs up heavy emotion in me that I can’t quite name. Mostly happy feelings I think, but yes, also nostalgia for time gone by that I can’t get back, maybe worries for the future. I also get quite down about how quickly it’s all over and how depressing January can be once all that build up and excitement is over. This year will also be tough as it’s our first without my mum.

Maybe we need to go on holiday on Boxing Day

The song Have yourself a merry little Christmas gets me every time especially the lyric next year on our troubles will be out of site 😭. It reminds me of all my loved ones who are no longer here but always in my heart.

I'm the same @Benjithedogbut actually I've found it gives me permission to have a less than perfect Christmas

Yes but I do have reasons in that 3 of my grandparents have died in the last 10 years and I’m NC with my parents who have never met my children. My grandparents were wonderful people who plugged the gap of very abusive parents and I miss them dreadfully. I still enjoy Christmas and do my best to make it special for my kids, but I get pangs of envy and sadness when I see grown women talking about going round their parents houses for dinner etc

Awwww, this thread...... 😢

I kind of agree @tinkersfig I love Christmas, and love buying gifts for the 10 people in my life I buy them for. (My 2 DC and their partners,) 3 neighbour's kids, DH, and my 2 BFFs. I am fortunate to not have a lot of stress in my life (financially comfortable since having no mortgage and no DC at home, and no elderly parents/relatives to look after/both sets of parents are dead,) and I have a pretty easy going part time job. Lovely home in a village, and nice neighbours...

I am hosting Christmas this year (both DC and their partners are coming, so it will be 6 of us altogether,) and I am a little anxious about getting it all correct on the day, but I'm more excited than anything else. The Christmas decorations, the tree, and all the lights went up on 1st December, and I have been to 2 Christmas markets, 2 Christmas Fairs, and 2 Christmas lights switch ons. We have all our Christmas food (almost.)

I feel excited and full of Christmas cheer. I always do this time of year.

Right up to about 20th December.

Then I start to feel melancholy, and have a weird tinge of sadness.

Sounds cheesy, but even now I feel a lump come to my throat, when I think of the Christmasses past (my childhood in the 1970s,) with my parents and my brother. I can still see the glass baubles, the wiry Christmas tree decked in silver gold, and red, tinsel, and coloured pickwick fairy lights, with a star on the top that I made. I can smell the tinsel - does that sound mad? I have a tinge of sadness that my parents are no longer here too. (DH's are dead too...) 😢 We lost them all by the mid to late noughties.....

About a dozen family members would pop in and out over Christmas day (and Boxing Day,) as we all lived within 20 to 25 minutes walk of each other. Some would go to the pub, and others would sit in and play dominos or a playing card game, whilst my brother and I (and our cousins) would get on our bikes, roller skates, or skateboards, and play outside with our friends. Sometimes we had snow, and would build snowmen, and sledge down the hill... We had stylophones, radio/cassette players, spacehoppers, clackers, board games, LP records, and selection boxes. We were easily pleased...

I also feel pangs of nostalgia for the 1980s Christmasses when me and my friends would go on pub crawls in the week leading up to Christmas, and would go clubbing - even though we were slightly underage - and the workplace social club always had a big Christmas party... I still spent Christmas with my parents and brother, as I didn't leave home til about 22.

And I even have pangs of nostalgia for the Christmasses when my DC were little (late 1990s,) and miss picking gifts out of Ace Christmas catalogue, and the Argos catalogue, and chasing around all the shops for the toys the kids wanted - Teletubbies, Baby All Gone, Bratz Dolls, Spice Girls dolls, and certain items from Claire's accessories, and Toys R Us!

Awwww, I've gone all weepy now. 😂

By Christmas Eve I'm usually OK again! It's just for a few days before. (I think coz everything has gone quiet, and everything is done, and ready, and I have time to think!)

Hope everyone here has a lovely peaceful happy Christmas. 🤗

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Yes. A lot of Christmas music is in a minor key, which doesn’t help.

Especially as you get older, inevitably, you remember times past.

sorry for your loss @lifeonmars100

I also dislike it, a mix of grief, nostalgia, dislike all the expectations and find the music depressing on the whole too. Always glad when it gets to January.

I'm getting worse with the blues. Heard an old Christmas song and just sat blubbing. Reminded me of being a child and the radio always being on. I've put the Christmas decorations up but not bothered with the tree. Just doesn't feel like Christmas anymore