Page 8 | The working world has become ridiculous

Rothschild · 2025-12-04T16:00:19+00:00

Recently a manager at my company attended an online meeting in tears because of a minor issue regarding her child's school. She excused herself from the meeting and took a mental health day. I can barely get hold of anyone at 3pm in my (large) organisation because everyone is doing school pick up. I don't believe they're getting much work done once they've picked up because they become hard to contact, don't respond to messages and won't attend meetings, despite it being their normal working hours. It's ridiculous. When our children were small we paid for wrap around childcare or for someone to collect. We were available to work between 3 and 4pm and afterwards. I'm not talking about anyone who has negotiated flexibility or finishes at 3pm, I'm talking about others who are, frankly, taking the piss. And if I had taken a mental health day every time I'd had some difficulty in my life I'd have hardly worked.

MNLurker1345 · 04/12/2025 17:49

@x12 big investment in the UK.

Isobel201 · 04/12/2025 17:51

Lebkuched · 04/12/2025 16:09

Problem is almost no managers will deal with this. My dh’s employer has tried to insist people return to office to prevent this kind of misbehaviour- one person has just stopped coming to work altogether and has now been off with stress for 6 months, they have been on full pay and just recently dropped down to 50% pay. I don’t know at what point people started finding it stressful to get on a train and come to work. When supposed to attend an OH meeting with HR and manager to discuss phased return, employee didn’t turn up. Rearranged - didn’t turn up. They phoned her instead and she picked up the call and said “sorry can’t really talk I’m in McDonalds”.

I had to give someone half a week off work when the family dog died recently. It wasn’t even his dog, it’s his dad’s and my colleague has hasn’t lived with the dog for 10 years! He was distressed and unable to sleep, couldn’t face the idea of doing any work and just wanted to cry all day long.

Honestly people are just utterly hopeless/ taking the mick! It makes it harder for people with genuine problems.

Just a thought about the person with the dog - he might not have lived with the dog in the same house but he probably went over and visited quite often and walked him. I did that with a dog who my mum currently owns, and trained him for agility. It'll be a sad day in my house when he goes even if he doesn't live here.

SpottyAardvark · 04/12/2025 17:51

I don’t blame these people for taking the piss if they know they can get away with it. I would do the same.

I blame the employers who are too weak & supine to enforce their own HR policies, starting with returning to mandatory FT office working. Many of the big tech companies are now doing exactly this. Most shirkers will soon get bored of that regime & resign. Those who don’t can then be managed out.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 04/12/2025 17:51

Tigerbalmshark · 04/12/2025 17:41

No, no qualifications needed. Often you have somebody who is a good (random example) project manager being promoted to being Director of Project Services, and then being responsible for managing 20 project managers with no further training whatsoever.

Have you ever read AskAManager? Terrible management in the US as well (probably worse than here, because a lot of the stories on there would be illegal here).

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Now you mention it I think I follow AAM on X but haven't seen anything recently.

cuddlebear · 04/12/2025 17:54

You sound really unpleasant and without an ounce of empathy or kindness.

SnoreyCat · 04/12/2025 17:54

Rothschild · 04/12/2025 16:31

And a lot of time off work for a dog dying is just ridiculous. I don't agree that @Lebkuched needs to work on their understanding of mental health, the employee needs to be more resilient.

A genuine mental health issue needs help, agreed. And where this is the case the employee should say so and be properly supported.

But if the constant crying and being unable to sleep or go to work for a period of time (more than a day) was because a dog died, well, I rest my case frankly.

Hard agree.

quietlysad · 04/12/2025 17:54

Squishedpassenger · 04/12/2025 16:26

When you say you have a conscience, who are you conscience of?

I mean I can understand a nurse having the attitude that they don't slack at work because of patient care etc, but if you work in corporate for some business where some big shots get loads of dividends or whatever if your company does well, I don't get killing yourself at work for them.

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For ‘them’. You mean the people that pay your wages every month. The people that take the hit if profits are down while you get paid your salary regardless. The people that take risks, sometimes putting their own homes on the line.
This is exactly the problem with Britain today, attitudes like this. Also while you’re slacking you can bet your bottom dollar somebody else is working twice as hard to make up for your laziness.

logsahc · 04/12/2025 17:55

My current bug bear is trying to find time for meetings, there’s always someone on a non working day! I say this as someone who compresses my own hours so I am part of the problem entirely but I do wonder how sustainable it is…

lynnebenfieldshandbag · 04/12/2025 17:56

I think house prices have become ridiculous. NHS waiting times have become ridiculous. The cost of living has become ridiculous. The difficulty of affording childcare so that you can go to work and pay tax has become ridiculous.

It’s not surprising some people take the piss at work. It’s the one area in life where they have some control.

Katypp · 04/12/2025 17:58

A lot of the responses on this thread kind of prove the OP's point really.
I am open-mouthed at pps saying basically they are entitled to not do what they are paid for because the boss gets paid too much or their childcare arrangements are top priority (for them maybe, for the company really no).
Any yet they expect to be paid for doing a bit of work when they've got nothing else on?

Crushed23 · 04/12/2025 18:01

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 04/12/2025 17:25

my manager wfh with a 1 year old. no nursery... no childminder... it's insane but we all pretend its cool because we don't want to get busted that we are getting our nails done or having a bath at 2pm!

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This is fair enough if the work gets done. I’m measured on output and have on a couple of occasions got my nails done or gone shopping in the middle of the day. I once joined a queue at 10am on a weekday outside H&M to get hold of a limited edition collection. 😅

I average 50-60 hours a week though, so my employer gets their money’s worth and I feel zero guilt about the odd chilled day. 😊

AwfullyGood · 04/12/2025 18:01

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 04/12/2025 17:30

Can I ask those of you who are managers, do you have any kind of education or training in leadership? Because I've been living in another country where most managers (at least in the public sector) have diplomas. The stuff that I read on here about ineffective managers boggles my mind. Having said that most of the complaints from managers on here would result in employees being fired. So that also boggles my mind.

It's about 15 years ago but when I was first promoted to manage I was sent on a week long course internally.

I've been management since my mid 20s and because I was young, another wiser colleague at work suggested that I do a people manager course for two reasons, one it was a good idea in general and two, it would give me more creditabilty.

That said, I was only an ok manager for the first 3 years. I wasn't bad but I just wasn't good. I only became good with experience over time. Management is a skill but it isn't treated the same way as other skills are in the workplace, that's why it's so inconsistent.

Overtheatlantic · 04/12/2025 18:01

SillyOP · 04/12/2025 17:48

Hi Sandra, didn’t know you were on here.

Can you please chase up my last holiday request, I submitted it before Robert and he’s been granted his.

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Haha. I’m not your line manager so have no idea if you have enough holiday time available nor could I approve it if you did. Please get in touch with Nigel.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/12/2025 18:02

x12 · 04/12/2025 17:36

@Puzzledandpissedoff Im in public sector now, but people can’t just go off sick forever in my workplace.

Glad to hear it, x12, and this is why I mentioned "not all of them ..."

That said I wouldn't expect someone being sick "forever" to be tolerated even in the public sector; it was more the attitude "I can take x long so I will" I was thinking of, combined with the lack of accountability which all too often makes it possible

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 04/12/2025 18:02

JudgeBread · 04/12/2025 16:30

Oh no, people are prioritising their family and children over their workplace and workplaces are being flexible with this and making allowances for people with children? The workplace is evolving to adapt to the current financial climate and exorbitant childcare costs? Parents are being given leeway so that they can both work and raise their families as best they can? Whatever shall we do?!

Edited

What about those of us without family and children? I suppose you think we should be expected to pick up the slack

Tadpolesinponds · 04/12/2025 18:02

Momtotwokids · 04/12/2025 17:44

Please tell me you are joking. When you have a job you do it.

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If being unable to work because of a dead dog is a red flag, then the employer should get the employee in to a meeting and discuss their mental health. This should involve considering any medical history. If the employee is having a mental breakdown, they should be under medical care, surely? And any time off should be documented sick leave and on sick pay.

Youdontseehow · 04/12/2025 18:03

GoodBrew · 04/12/2025 16:22

Are you for real? This was clearly not about a dog they barely knew. It was the tip of a massive iceberg and probably a mental breakdown. I think you need to work on your understanding of mental health.

Perhaps there's some sort of training course your employer can send you on because a decent manager should not miss such a huge red flag.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
please tell me you’re being sarcastic @GoodBrew

newchapternewday · 04/12/2025 18:04

Minty25 · 04/12/2025 16:16

My workplace is ridiculously lax on any kind of checking up on anyone. One colleague does virtually nothing and I mean nothing. they work 3 days a week and still mange to book all dental, GP and car MOT appointments on working days rather than the two weekdays they have off. There is no checking on what work anyone is doing. I could literally browse MN all day on my phone and no-one would notice. I don't because I have a conscience but it really is a skivers paradise. It's a charity too not that that seems to prick anyone's conscience.

I used to work at a charity and more than 50% of the staff behaved like that, management did nothing about it, made me sick that people donated to pay for these skivers

Vaxtable · 04/12/2025 18:05

The issue is there is no resilience now, from the late 90s kids have been pandered to and it’s just getting worse, Covid shows us that with all the hand wringing about mental health , my kids can’t cope, whatever shall we do. And since covid we seem to have had an explosion of mental health issues and autism consultations, not that that isn’t necessarily the thing to do, but now everyone seems to have autism in some form.

I am absolutely convinced that it’s not all autism, the are Just some naughty kids and parents don’t want to deal with them. People dont like being told no, they want the latest of everything, they have stupid woke ideas rammed down their throat and are incapable of thinking for themselves and it’s only going to get worse

and anyone wfh should absolutely have childcare in place and be working

Dweetfidilove · 04/12/2025 18:06

Tigerbalmshark · 04/12/2025 17:17

Exactly - what this thread is telling me is that a lot of managers are absolutely piss poor and not following performance management procedures (which their organisation almost certainly has).

Nobody “has” to give an employee a week off because somebody else’s dog had died. That should have been sickness leave (self certified for the first 5 days and then certified by GP), and if repeated then the employee needs to be on a PIP, and gotten rid of. If people are not available past 3pm that also needs performance managing. A decent manager would sort this out quickly.

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True. Management is piss poor.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 04/12/2025 18:06

AmberRose86 · 04/12/2025 16:16

And yes. There is no appetite at senior management level to deal with it in my work either.

I get the distinct impression that some managers are doing much the same thing themselves.

Saz12 · 04/12/2025 18:08

Part of the reason for rising prices is paying salaries to people who are taking the piss - if the workforce cost 100 and made 10 widgets a day it costs 10 per widget. If they make 100 widgets a day, then it costs 1 per widget.
And if Mrs Business needs to employ 11 people rather than 10 because one or more of them is skivving, of course wages aren't going to go up, even of the conscientious majority.

Noone should sell their soul to their employer, but doing the job you are paid for is a pretty reasonable expectation.

Neeroy · 04/12/2025 18:10

Rothschild · 04/12/2025 16:31

And a lot of time off work for a dog dying is just ridiculous. I don't agree that @Lebkuched needs to work on their understanding of mental health, the employee needs to be more resilient.

A genuine mental health issue needs help, agreed. And where this is the case the employee should say so and be properly supported.

But if the constant crying and being unable to sleep or go to work for a period of time (more than a day) was because a dog died, well, I rest my case frankly.

Let's break this down

For some people their pets are like children to them. You don't have to agree or believe it should be the case but you do have to understand that it is the case. Saying they're ridiculous for being so upset they can't work doesn't make them less distraught. But it does encourage them to turn up to work despite not being in any fit state and actually delaying their return to normal.

The employee needs to be more resilient. Thinking someone shouldn't be as deeply affected as they are about someone and telling them to pull themselves together doesn't help when it comes to mental health. Some people can endure things that others can't. Acting as if that's not the case helps no one.

A genuine mental health issue.
With all due respect, you don't get to decide which mental health issues are genuine and which aren't. That is between the person, their manager and their GP, OT or MH professional.

If a person is unable to sleep or work because they're crying then they are unable to work. See above telling them to pull themselves together.

I have an excellent employee off at the moment and I'm supporting them. They've tried to soldier on but the reality is the combination of winter viruses and supporting a mentally unwell partner has taken its toll. Giving them a few days off to get better is clearly the right thing to do or they'll soldier on and take a very long time to get back to excellent.

I took time off after my FIL died. I didn't think his death would hit me so hard. But it did. 2 days and the weekend was all I needed and I felt more myself. Without compassionate leave I would have ticked the 'there' box but not actually have been any use.

ScrollingLeaves · 04/12/2025 18:11

Rothschild · 04/12/2025 16:31

And a lot of time off work for a dog dying is just ridiculous. I don't agree that @Lebkuched needs to work on their understanding of mental health, the employee needs to be more resilient.

A genuine mental health issue needs help, agreed. And where this is the case the employee should say so and be properly supported.

But if the constant crying and being unable to sleep or go to work for a period of time (more than a day) was because a dog died, well, I rest my case frankly.

In a case like this the dog dying could have been a catalyst for a host of other things. So as the pp said the person might have really been suffering a form of mental break down.

Livelovebehappy · 04/12/2025 18:16

Minty25 · 04/12/2025 16:16

My workplace is ridiculously lax on any kind of checking up on anyone. One colleague does virtually nothing and I mean nothing. they work 3 days a week and still mange to book all dental, GP and car MOT appointments on working days rather than the two weekdays they have off. There is no checking on what work anyone is doing. I could literally browse MN all day on my phone and no-one would notice. I don't because I have a conscience but it really is a skivers paradise. It's a charity too not that that seems to prick anyone's conscience.

But don’t you have workloads? And wouldn’t management notice if your workload didn’t go down? I wfh and have work which I have to do. I wouldn’t get away with scrolling on SM all day be cause my work would just increase.