The working world has become ridiculous

[Rothschild]

Recently a manager at my company attended an online meeting in tears because of a minor issue regarding her child's school. She excused herself from the meeting and took a mental health day.

I can barely get hold of anyone at 3pm in my (large) organisation because everyone is doing school pick up. I don't believe they're getting much work done once they've picked up because they become hard to contact, don't respond to messages and won't attend meetings, despite it being their normal working hours.

It's ridiculous. When our children were small we paid for wrap around childcare or for someone to collect. We were available to work between 3 and 4pm and afterwards.

I'm not talking about anyone who has negotiated flexibility or finishes at 3pm, I'm talking about others who are, frankly, taking the piss.

And if I had taken a mental health day every time I'd had some difficulty in my life I'd have hardly worked.

Has it occurred to you that the "mental health day" was actually for her child who may have had something horrible happened to them at school.

Report it to management.

It is no doubt in people’s contracts they cannot work while caring for children.

Problem is almost no managers will deal with this. My dh’s employer has tried to insist people return to office to prevent this kind of misbehaviour- one person has just stopped coming to work altogether and has now been off with stress for 6 months, they have been on full pay and just recently dropped down to 50% pay. I don’t know at what point people started finding it stressful to get on a train and come to work. When supposed to attend an OH meeting with HR and manager to discuss phased return, employee didn’t turn up. Rearranged - didn’t turn up. They phoned her instead and she picked up the call and said “sorry can’t really talk I’m in McDonalds”.

I had to give someone half a week off work when the family dog died recently. It wasn’t even his dog, it’s his dad’s and my colleague has hasn’t lived with the dog for 10 years! He was distressed and unable to sleep, couldn’t face the idea of doing any work and just wanted to cry all day long.

Honestly people are just utterly hopeless/ taking the mick! It makes it harder for people with genuine problems.

Yeah. I work from home and my kids still go to wraparound but I think I’m the only mug in my organisation that bothers. That annoys me. When you’re working, you should be actually working.

I know for sure it wasn't.

My workplace is ridiculously lax on any kind of checking up on anyone. One colleague does virtually nothing and I mean nothing. they work 3 days a week and still mange to book all dental, GP and car MOT appointments on working days rather than the two weekdays they have off. There is no checking on what work anyone is doing. I could literally browse MN all day on my phone and no-one would notice. I don't because I have a conscience but it really is a skivers paradise. It's a charity too not that that seems to prick anyone's conscience.

And yes. There is no appetite at senior management level to deal with it in my work either.

Ok 🙂

Yes it’s a sorry state - management are frightened to bring it up as they will be accused of bullying or discrimination of some kind.

Are you for real? This was clearly not about a dog they barely knew. It was the tip of a massive iceberg and probably a mental breakdown. I think you need to work on your understanding of mental health.

Perhaps there's some sort of training course your employer can send you on because a decent manager should not miss such a huge red flag.

How can you possibly know for sure?

When you say you have a conscience, who are you conscience of?

I mean I can understand a nurse having the attitude that they don't slack at work because of patient care etc, but if you work in corporate for some business where some big shots get loads of dividends or whatever if your company does well, I don't get killing yourself at work for them.

You'll just have to take my word for it. I'm not going to elaborate but I can tell you it wasn't a big deal.

Yes, it's fucking ridiculous as are many other things nowadays.

You don’t need to elaborate. At the same time, there is no possible way you can know for sure.

I don’t really understand how these businesses stay afloat with so many employees not doing any work?

Oh no, people are prioritising their family and children over their workplace and workplaces are being flexible with this and making allowances for people with children? The workplace is evolving to adapt to the current financial climate and exorbitant childcare costs? Parents are being given leeway so that they can both work and raise their families as best they can? Whatever shall we do?!

And a lot of time off work for a dog dying is just ridiculous. I don't agree that @Lebkuched needs to work on their understanding of mental health, the employee needs to be more resilient.

A genuine mental health issue needs help, agreed. And where this is the case the employee should say so and be properly supported.

But if the constant crying and being unable to sleep or go to work for a period of time (more than a day) was because a dog died, well, I rest my case frankly.

No. People are taking the piss. And I'm fed up of never being able to hold a meeting past 3pm because people who are supposed to be working aren't actually working.

Funnily enough I was watching part of a podcast where Steph McGovern from Steph’s Packed Lunch was discussing this and saying she was forced to pay for a employee to take a paid day off to have a tattoo. When questioned further she said the employee had said it was required due to their mental health and they felt they couldn’t deny the request as that could lead to them getting sued.

Never heard anything like it.

There’s a big difference between killing yourself at work and doing the job you’re employed to do during the hours you’re employed to do it.

Accountability, and dealing with performance and disciplinary issues has really dropped off in what seems to be quite a large number of work places. Even when there are consequences, Theyre very very slow to come, and generally not widely known.

It’s frustrating when you are one of those who doesn’t take the piss.

I do wonder if part of the issue is the lack of differentiation between being vaguely available for a large number of hours vs properly delivering in your actual working hours.

I think mental health days are legitimate and would help avoid some long term sickness if employees felt able to take a day, when they start feeling overwhelmed, rather than waiting for the breakdown.

I also think things like a pet's death can be the final straw. If all else is good and you're loving work, probably you can carry on and go to work for the distraction. Completely different if you were already on the edge.

Wfh, I think is a real time bomb for productivity because while those doing it insist that they're more productive, OP's experience is exactly the same as mine. I also think, long term, it will be really harmful for women in the workplace, enabling it to seem like they're maintinaning careers alongside caring responsibilities but also denying them all the opportunities that come about because right place right time.

Yes it’s fucking ridiculous. Somebody on the verge of a full blown breakdown over a dog that isn’t even theirs. It’s laughable!

similar things are going on where I work too. Half the people are off sick and there’s jack shit you can do about it.

Things are going to have to drastically change in this country. We cannot continue to allow people to take time off for the most trivial of matters and all under the guise of ‘mental health’ which has a lot to answer for because it’s become far too easy for people to exploit it to their own advantage.

I an hybrid & work just as hard if not harder at home. I couldn’t do my job 100% remotely, nor would I want to. Hybrid allows me to work more hours, if I was 100% office based I would reduce my hours. My dc are 9 plus though, I would not work with young dc around.