Can your family afford snacking and random grazing?

[TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals]

DC are grumpy because we don't allow random grazing and ask that they let me know when they're planning to prepare food using high-value ingredients or ingredients which may reasonably form a central component of a family meal.

I buy enough packed lunch items to last them both for the week, and much prefer it if I don't have to buy replacements if someone eats extra bags of crisps or snacks on extra packets of raisins or grain bars or similar.

Ditto preparing snacks between mealtimes: making toast, or bowls of pasta or cereal, or making fruit smoothies, or baking cupcakes.
Mine will get bowls of frozen peas or sweetcorn to snack on, so I often open the freezer to find empty bags.

Or unlimited condiments, for that matter -oodles of ketchup, sweet chilli sauce or mayo etc.

Or raiding the fruit bowl; there's enough fruit for everyone to have a couple of pieces per day but not to eat 3 bananas in a day, for instance.

We eat 3 square meals a day; quality home-cooked / prepared food and always have fruit available, so they're not going hungry. DC1 in particular insists that all their friends have free reins in the kitchen and that their cupboards are stuffed to the gunnels with snacky foods to which they help themselves with gay abandon, citing fridge raids of quantities of items I could never sustain in our home on our budget: I literally couldn't afford to stock lots of grazing foods in case someone feels a bit bored or peckish.

Can you, and do you, keep plentiful reserves of snacks which your DC are allowed to help themselves to?

Plenty of snack foods here, and they decide when they eat them. I don't decide when my kids are hungry

Food restrictions are proven to affect people’s relationships with food, so yes, I always make sure to have extra food for snacks.
My children have a shelf in the fridge that is full of babybels, cheesestrings, yoghurts, apples, strawberries and grapes.
They also have one side of the pantry that has individually wrapped brioches, crepes, some mini packets of biscuits, mini cheddars and dried fruit snacks.

They don’t go crazy and always ask me if they can grab a snack before they do but I’ll only ever say no if it’s near to tea time. They’re growing and so are their appetites.
They’re both slim and healthy and have great relationships with food.

I'm not sure there's anything wrong with eathing every time you're hungry (and stopping when no longer hungry). As long as you don't eat every time you're bored, sad, happy, or simply because you see food, so might as well.

Snacking is fine if you are eating nutrient dense snacks and over the day / week you aren’t consuming more than you need.

Cereal bars and protein bars are generally full of sugar and are upf.

Low sugar yoghurt, small amounts of nuts and seeds, hard boiled eggs, lean meats, small amounts of cheese, pulses, vegetables and fruit are good choices.

When snacking on upf or low nutrition foods is a problem is when it is replacing eating nutritious foods at meal times.

most kids are eating too much bad fats and sugar and not enough protein and fibre.

Snacking can be good or bad, it really depends how it fits in to the profile of your day. A custard cream and a cup of tea isn’t going to ruin your diet or your appetite, but a bag of crisps and a sugary drink every single day probably is going to lead to poorer health outcomes over time.

Access to upf snacks is going to increase intake of upf snacks. Obviously. If you don’t buy it, they can’t eat it. Crisps, cereal bars, pepperamis, chocolate bars, biscuits etc etc should be occasionally consumed and not daily really.

Access to decent snack or small meal options (apple slices and peanut butter, celery sticks and hummus, unsalted nuts, roasted seeds) I can’t get hung up about.

My kids do snack on upf at times, but I try and limit it where I can and encourage healthy options and to make things from scratch where we can.

No, it's not.

Eating with abandon is just eating regardless of hunger. Not having parameters just means that you have constant access to whatever food you like - not that you eat it constantly.

Yeah this made me feel sad. I'd be mortified if my kids were eating frozen sweetcorn

Op I’m sorry if they’re snacking on frozen peas they must be really hungry, I don’t know what else to say. I’m not advocating filling the kitchen with junk but maybe things like carrots/veg sticks/hummus/toast for example? Personally I’d rather go without myself than see my kids hungry. If they’re having a growth spurt then yes they do need the occasional snack in between meals.

Yes id never dream of restricting access to food unless they were for some reason unable to self regulate.

Her kids are so hungry that they're eating frozen sweetcorn ffs. It's not about a lack of parenting it's about kids not going hungry.

No she’s not.

She’s correct. Goûter is NOT the same as undefined, unrestricted grazing throughout the day. Which is why Britain has a worse obesity problem than France…

No they are not!!

The OP makes it very clear that they are doing it because they like them, I do it too and not because I am hungry but because I like them. Although I just eat peas as sweetcorn can cause listeria.

These are not hungry kids, they are kids who are randomly eating dinner ingredients as snacks despite being fed well. The issue has come from kids brought up from weaning to not realise that hunger for an hour before dinner is not a human rights violation but perfectly normal! And that you dont need to be constantly nibbling on something. They are given snacks whenever they give out, so never have to wait.

Be “granted” a snack made me laugh and feel a bit sorry for everyone in the household at the same time.

Right, but that wasn’t the comparison.

Gouter is literally an after school snack. Just because it’s defined as a specific food, doesn’t make it healthier than a UK child coming home and having a crumpet or a banana.

So OP complaining her DC making a wrap after school with meat and salad = unhealthy snacking

But a chocolate sandwich = defined occasion?

I'm not sure that makes sense

But OP is complaining about them using butter, making sandwiches and baking for example

This doesn't seem to be about them only wanting crisps and sweets

The OP wasnt complaining about that, she was saying that their "snacking" involved eating ingredients that she had earmarked for meals as she is on a budget.

She says that her kids say that their friends parents allow free rein of the cupboards for snacks (which I highly doubt) and that she cant afford that.

But a lot of people do have loads of crisps, biscuits, unhealthy snacks etc in the house and that is a big problem. If a kid comes in from school hungry and mainlines a couple of bags of crisps and a big chunk of cheese and a pack of ham (naice or otherwise) then that is shit for their diet as they wont eat the home cooked meal at dinner time, and shit for the OP's budget as the ham/cheese for school lunches now needs to be replaced.

Now it may be that the kids appetites have increased as they grow and the OP needs to consider that. Perhaps sending bigger lunches or having an after school something available just to keep them going and then making bigger dinner portions for them. But having unrestricted access to crap is not good for the purse or the health of the children.

I doubt they are picking this, more they’ve no other choice, very few pick to ear frozen food, I understand you do, but I suspect you’re in the minority.

Ingredients for main meals are off limits, everything else is available for DD.

I rarely buy specific 'snack' foods, biscuits, crisps, etc

Snacks tend to be toast, a sandwich, fruit etc DD goes through phases of eating lots of cucumber, and I top up as we run out, same with cherry tomatos and peppers. It was shredded cabbage the other day, strange girl. Yes, I can afford to replace these sorts of foods.

Cheese toasties are another favourite. There's also single portions of of various home made soups in the freezer, and DD is another who likes a bowl of frozen peas and sweetcorn (cooked before eating, though!).

She also spends some of her pocket money on sweets or junk food, and I don't put any restrictions on how she spends her pocket money. At times she saves up for something long lasting she wants.

DD is a healthy weight, very slim but active and energetic. I would rather she listens to her body and eat when she needs to - and stops when she's had enough.

Headline.....Other People Are Different To You.

Its very clear that these children are fed and well fed. Tehy just dont have unlimited access to crap. Your food issues are yours, not the OP's kids/

No need to be prickly, as you can see from the responses, the majority of posters are surprised by the frozen veg snacks and only you have said you eat it by choice. That alone should be a clue it is not very common,

Frozen peas are a favourite snack here too!

But isn't OP also complaining about them eating the frozen veg?

Yes we can afford.. I only ever buy stuff that’s on offer though. I have 2 teens so it’s usually gone in 5 seconds.

It sounds like DC1 is approaching puberty/teen years, in which case they actually do need more food than the average 3 square meals because their bodies are using more energy.

This doesn’t mean you have to allow open season on the fridge or pantry, but it is definitely worth trying to incorporate at least a few more options for ‘help yourself’ snacks.

@TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals
You mention that their school lunches consist of a sandwich, fruit, and crisps or a granola bar, and that they have a tuck allowance to buy a snack mid morning in school.

I'm not sure a sandwich, piece of fruit, and crisps or a granola bar are really enough for growing teens even if they can buy themselves a snack from the tuck shop. Their day might include PE, a lot of walking and carrying heavy bags between classes, and a good deal of brain work/ focus.

You seem to value the social aspect of the mid morning snack, but do you ask yourself if there's a food related value to it too?

You also mention reports of your DCs' visits to friends' homes where there is an allegedly huge quantity of freely available food for snacking on. Your DCs clearly have friends, and you value the social aspects of their lives - all good.

When they have friends over, do they feel ashamed that there's perhaps just one banana available, no fun food or beverages (thinking hot cocoa with marshmallows, or non-basic crackers or non rationed crisps, etc)? Do they share frozen peas and corn with their friends when they visit? There's a social aspect to having appealing food to share with friends who visit your home, and I urge you to take that seriously. Your DCs will be engaging more and more with friends as the teen years progress, and I think the importance of food as social currency will only increase

I think you need to rein in the judgment of British snacking habits and accept that your DCs are growing up in a society that runs on cake and biscuits, largely because that's where you chose to bring them into the world. You are already quite foreign in the UK, and I think for the sake of your relatability with your teen DCs, I think you need to go with the flow a good deal more.

There are plenty of fit and trim Brits, just as there are a.lot of fit and trim Americans. They're not all sticking to the three square a day regimen. Snacking in moderation on the tasty snack foods that are available is not a bad thing. Eating non stop greasy or sugar laden foods is what leads to obesity. Moderation is key, and all or nothing is not healthy.