Page 24 | Can your family afford snacking and random grazing?

TransAdmiralsAreAdmirals · 2025-11-26T21:41:09+00:00

DC are grumpy because we don't allow random grazing and ask that they let me know when they're planning to prepare food using high-value ingredients or ingredients which may reasonably form a central component of a family meal. I buy enough packed lunch items to last them both for the week, and much prefer it if I don't have to buy replacements if someone eats extra bags of crisps or snacks on extra packets of raisins or grain bars or similar. Ditto preparing snacks between mealtimes: making toast, or bowls of pasta or cereal, or making fruit smoothies, or baking cupcakes. Mine will get bowls of frozen peas or sweetcorn to snack on, so I often open the freezer to find empty bags. Or unlimited condiments, for that matter -oodles of ketchup, sweet chilli sauce or mayo etc. Or raiding the fruit bowl; there's enough fruit for everyone to have a couple of pieces per day but not to eat 3 bananas in a day, for instance. We eat 3 square meals a day; quality home-cooked / prepared food and always have fruit available, so they're not going hungry. DC1 in particular insists that all their friends have free reins in the kitchen and that their cupboards are stuffed to the gunnels with snacky foods to which they help themselves with gay abandon, citing fridge raids of quantities of items I could never sustain in our home on our budget: I literally couldn't afford to stock lots of grazing foods in case someone feels a bit bored or peckish. Can you, and do you, keep plentiful reserves of snacks which your DC are allowed to help themselves to?

WombatChocolate · 27/11/2025 17:51

PanicPanicc · 27/11/2025 17:42

That’s why I mentioned I had to cut down on what I was buying.

However I don’t drive and it’s quite annoying to not be able to have things stocked up like I wish I could just because DD will scoff them down like No-Face in Spirited Away. I’d much rather that she could have the understanding of pacing herself so that we all have access to the nice snacks.

Op, is your DC neuro-diverse by any chance?
Ive mentioned up thread that this thing of gobbling all of something and seeming to have a lack of self control over it, can be related to that. Sometimes it manifests as an urge to eat everything to stop others having it or as a kind of addiction …..I ask this as you say you’ve discussed the issues with your kids and they continue to do it.

Is it a common the that they disregard what you say, or particularly in this issue?

Older kids can usually grasp that you have a budget and food needs to last a while and everyone to have a chance to have some, rather than one person scoffing the lot. Most would understand there are other foods they can eat as much as they want of.

Just wondering…

PanicPanicc · 27/11/2025 18:03

WombatChocolate · 27/11/2025 17:51

Op, is your DC neuro-diverse by any chance?
Ive mentioned up thread that this thing of gobbling all of something and seeming to have a lack of self control over it, can be related to that. Sometimes it manifests as an urge to eat everything to stop others having it or as a kind of addiction …..I ask this as you say you’ve discussed the issues with your kids and they continue to do it.

Is it a common the that they disregard what you say, or particularly in this issue?

Older kids can usually grasp that you have a budget and food needs to last a while and everyone to have a chance to have some, rather than one person scoffing the lot. Most would understand there are other foods they can eat as much as they want of.

Just wondering…

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If she’s ND she’s not diagnosed or ever advised to. I’ve also wondered in the past if it’s a binge eating disorder, but at the same time it’s only on certain things. She wouldn’t touch something she doesn’t like even if that was the only thing available in the cupboard.

My boyfriend (who doesn’t live here) is ND though and he thinks the explanation is a lot simpler: smokes weed, gets the munchies and just attacks everything.

However this was already an issue before she was even aware of what weed is. I’ve tried addressing it many times with no success so I’ve just funded and tried to balance it as it was mostly just the 2 of us, however at 21 the lack of thought for others isn’t really okay.

(ie my bf stocked up on snacks, we went away for a weekend, came back to all gone and none replaced - even though it wasn’t even me who bought them)

Wickedlittledancer · 27/11/2025 18:04

WombatChocolate · 27/11/2025 17:51

Op, is your DC neuro-diverse by any chance?
Ive mentioned up thread that this thing of gobbling all of something and seeming to have a lack of self control over it, can be related to that. Sometimes it manifests as an urge to eat everything to stop others having it or as a kind of addiction …..I ask this as you say you’ve discussed the issues with your kids and they continue to do it.

Is it a common the that they disregard what you say, or particularly in this issue?

Older kids can usually grasp that you have a budget and food needs to last a while and everyone to have a chance to have some, rather than one person scoffing the lot. Most would understand there are other foods they can eat as much as they want of.

Just wondering…

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Not everything is about nd. It’s on every single thread. Simply these kids are deprived of snacks, see them as treats, have to eat frozen peas as a snack, so grab at everything when they can.

ContinuewithGoogle · 27/11/2025 18:10

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/11/2025 17:44

They also smoke a lot.

The heavenly healthy French people is total bingo on these threads.

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I am not sure the kids do 😂

itsthetea · 27/11/2025 18:15

They ain’t deprived of snacks

they are wanting unhealthy junk they see friend having because that’s designed to be desirable

they are wanting the nicer stuff because it’s nicer

if they really are hungry bread and jam will help fill them up

and make the dinners bigger if they need extra calories - leaning to live without snacking all the time is useful

OneBadKitty · 27/11/2025 18:19

judgementday2 · 27/11/2025 00:09

Nobody suggested constant access, of course. But bullying children over wanting a snack does, indeed, lead to disordered eating.

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Sorry, I thought free rein was synonymous with constant access? Not sure what you mean by 'bullying children over wanting a snack' either?

Letsnotupsettheapplecart · 27/11/2025 18:24

My 16 and 12 year old have free rein. But they don’t abuse it or go crazy at all.

WombatChocolate · 27/11/2025 18:36

PanicPanicc · 27/11/2025 18:03

If she’s ND she’s not diagnosed or ever advised to. I’ve also wondered in the past if it’s a binge eating disorder, but at the same time it’s only on certain things. She wouldn’t touch something she doesn’t like even if that was the only thing available in the cupboard.

My boyfriend (who doesn’t live here) is ND though and he thinks the explanation is a lot simpler: smokes weed, gets the munchies and just attacks everything.

However this was already an issue before she was even aware of what weed is. I’ve tried addressing it many times with no success so I’ve just funded and tried to balance it as it was mostly just the 2 of us, however at 21 the lack of thought for others isn’t really okay.

(ie my bf stocked up on snacks, we went away for a weekend, came back to all gone and none replaced - even though it wasn’t even me who bought them)

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Okay - so she’s 21!
To me it does suggest some wider issue rather than just being hungry!
Most 21 year olds understand treats and snacks need to be shared by everyone and don’t scoff the lot!

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 18:41

LondonPapa · 27/11/2025 10:44

Maybe for lazy kids. Mine are very active and slim.

Edited

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They might be now but you're teaching them to eat with abandon, unless you teach how to manage satiation properly, they'll be unhealthy in their adult life

Satisfiedwithanapple · 27/11/2025 18:44

ContinuewithGoogle · 27/11/2025 18:10

I am not sure the kids do 😂

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Yeah it just makes me laugh all the saintly healthy French stuff 🤣

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 19:07

StruggleFlourish · 27/11/2025 13:59

OP if you're still on here and reading these responses I'm finding this to be quite amusing, man, you ask a simple question and you certainly get a deluge of answers don't you?

I've read all your posts and you sound to be quite reasonable. I don't think you're starving your children. I don't think you're being controlling of their food.
In fact I think you're being quite generous by including extra pocket money and allowances for them to buy what they want when they want. (I never had that growing up, I worked three jobs from the time I was 12 to the time I was 19 to be able to afford whatever I wanted and mostly, what I wanted was to save for University so I almost never got snacks)

The fact that they're going through the cupboards at night and eating all your food like a bunch of locusts more likely is because they are bored / think they're hungry but they're not really hungry.
I'd almost guarantee it although yes it is true that growing teenagers do require more calories, more than likely this is boredom snacking.
And what you're mentioning about them using up all the condiments and all the dips and all the sauces in the fridge? Yeah, I have a sibling like that. A condiment that should last a family of six four to six weeks, he will consume in two sittings and see nothing wrong with it because he likes dips and sauces, loves to slather them all over his food.
And it's so incredibly frustrating because, you sound like you're the main person who does the grocery shopping and planning, and making the meals. And if you think there's something in the fridge that you're going to use for supper and then you come down in the morning and it's all been consumed, you just throw your hands up and go what the hell!!

And no, mentioning that your children go into the freezer to open and eat the packages of sweet corn and peas and all that kind of thing, that's not abuse for God sakes, I used to do the same thing. They're large packages, relatively inexpensive, I'd pour half a container of frozen peas into a bowl, microwave it, throw a knob of butter on top, and eat it as a snack. I still do.

And for those saying that your daughters eating frozen sweet corn is going to give them food poisoning, are the girls actually eating at Frozen and uncooked? Or are they cooking it first such as heating it up in the microwave or on the stove top? I really doubt they're eating it frozen like ice cream but if they are, then yes, there can be a listeria contamination just like with anything else that's raw, raw foods there's always an increased chance of a contaminant. Cooking the food does decrease that risk. There's nothing inherently wrong with sweet corn. So, I think you're getting a bit of alarmist advice on that front.

If your daughter's like to snack on frozen vegetables and you can get huge (like 2 to 5 kg sized family packs) a frozen vegetables that they like, then yeah, if it's inexpensive, tell them to snack on that. It'll work out too inexpensive per gigantic serving even though that should be enough for an entire family meal, and they're eating it in one night, well, at least there's a lot of fiber in it.

I hate to say it but if they're being that locust like in their eating habits, where you go downstairs and you've got a full kitchen and you come down in the morning and all the food is gone, you might have to lay some ground rules for them, this isn't being controlling, this isn't being abusive, they're the ones who are out of control and abusing the family open food policy.

But if I were you, aside from putting limits on things (like for instance, you each can have one banana after 8:00 p.m. only please, I don't want to come downstairs and find that 8 bananas are gone)
Consider purchasing huge family sized bulk portions of inexpensive filling food such as low sugar cereal, frozen vegetables, and air popped popcorn. All those things are very cheap and can be filling. And more than likely it's not that they're eating because the poor girls are so hungry and they're starving, it's just because they feel in a snacky mood so they reach for the first crunchy / salty / sweet easy to find thing that they can find.

There's a difference between eating out of hunger and eating out of habit. A lot of people can't tell the difference.

Oh dear

All this sensible nuanced advice in this post

Total waste of time as evidenced by the post right under it

The responses on this thread are exactly why we have fat children in this country. Not one ounce of insight.

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 19:15

verybighouseinthecountry · 27/11/2025 15:11

They obviously don't if they are rationed to 1 per day. It's a bit sheltered to think everyone automatically has 5 per day, there are many DC who don't have 1 per week.

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???

You cant get your 5 a day (which is meant to be 10 a day actually) if you only have 1 piece of fruit a day?

Have you never heard of vegetables and salad items?

Let me introduce you....

purplehair1 · 27/11/2025 19:28

Are your kids teenagers? My son ate everything in sight he was always hungry - but took loads of exercise as well so fit and lean. My daughter was more fussy. I can’t see the problem in letting kids make themselves some toast but I do know when my son was at home it was hard to keep any ‘easy to eat’ food stocked up! They are both quite good cooks now. I wouldn’t have wanted to restrict what they ate at all, particularly my sons appetite being so huge - and my daughter started off as a fussy eater so I was just glad to see her eating anything!

WombatChocolate · 27/11/2025 19:33

OP said her DD is 21!

ContinuewithGoogle · 27/11/2025 19:49

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 18:41

They might be now but you're teaching them to eat with abandon, unless you teach how to manage satiation properly, they'll be unhealthy in their adult life

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encouraging them to over-eat at rigid strict meals is as unhealthy as you can get

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 19:49

FurForksSake · 27/11/2025 17:44

It’s worth thinking about why we have weight loss injections and why they work. Some people seem to have more of the hungry hormones and less of the ones that feel satiated (or something along those lines). Some children will have the ability to regulate their snack intake simply because they don’t have the food noise other children do and are easily satisfied.

also throw into the mix some children who are very active and therefore need more fuel, we can see it isn’t one size fits all.

Not demonising foods, encouraging eating whole foods and allowing access to all food types in moderation is needed.

The only issues super sporty teens have is if they don’t go on to be super sporty adults and try to continue their consumption levels. I know lots of people from school who were considerably overweight in adulthood as they had big appetites and were over fuelling.

Why is this different in other countries who didnt/dont have the level of obesity and overweight that we do?

There will be a difference in how different peoples hormones work but that is universal, its not just limited to people in fat countries like the UK, US and Australia (and others).

I think we treat hunger very differently. Its taken me a long time to reaalise I dont have to eat every single time I feel peckish, I can wait, hunger isnt going to kill me. That would have been very diffiuclt to comprehend as a young person.

We are an instant gratification society now, this is linked to this. We dont teach children to understand physical feelings and to tolerate hunger (or any discomfort actually)

Jane143 · 27/11/2025 19:54

Bread is cheap. Make sure u always have plenty in house and they can have toast when they want, with Marmite, jam, peanut butter etc . Then you can keep the other snacks seperate and make sure they know they’re for lunch boxes etc

LondonPapa · 27/11/2025 19:58

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 18:41

They might be now but you're teaching them to eat with abandon, unless you teach how to manage satiation properly, they'll be unhealthy in their adult life

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I guess if my kids were snacking on junk, sure. But thankfully, they’re not because, again, thankfully, I can afford to buy fresh (usually) organic fruit and veg which they eat. Not UPF shit.

I’m exactly the same and not at all fat so I’m not worried.

CoralOP · 27/11/2025 20:05

We are a snack family. If it runs out I restock.
I am not big on strict organised meal prep, I usually shop little and often.
My son can have food when he pleases unless it's 30 mins before dinnertime. He's too skinny for his age so I am pleased at anything extra he eats (he generally doesn't eat much unhealthy stuff, lots of fruit, breadsticks etc).

I would hate to live with such rigid rules around eating.

My sons friend doesn't get any snacks or 'fun food'. When he used to come to ours and I would make them a snack plate he behaved like a ferral child grabbing at the snacks, eating as fast as he could and contantly asking for more. You need to be very careful around the messages you are sending.

freakingscared · 27/11/2025 20:08

My kids have free access to loads of food at all times , obviously if I see them eating to much “ crap “ food I will tell them no , but I’m not saying no to fruits , cereal bars , yogurts etc

freakingscared · 27/11/2025 20:11

CoralOP · 27/11/2025 20:05

We are a snack family. If it runs out I restock.
I am not big on strict organised meal prep, I usually shop little and often.
My son can have food when he pleases unless it's 30 mins before dinnertime. He's too skinny for his age so I am pleased at anything extra he eats (he generally doesn't eat much unhealthy stuff, lots of fruit, breadsticks etc).

I would hate to live with such rigid rules around eating.

My sons friend doesn't get any snacks or 'fun food'. When he used to come to ours and I would make them a snack plate he behaved like a ferral child grabbing at the snacks, eating as fast as he could and contantly asking for more. You need to be very careful around the messages you are sending.

We have this with 2 of my 9 year olds friends . One clearly is very controled in what she eats and the other boy is not allowed snacks at home . The girl will eat every sweet and ice cream , pop corn etc she can get her hands on , I allow it as I’m never told not to allow it , the boy eats anything , last week I made him sandwich’s and he ate 3 ham and cheese ones plus 3 mullet corners .
I don’t have the heart to say no to either .

snoopythebeagle · 27/11/2025 20:13

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 18:41

They might be now but you're teaching them to eat with abandon, unless you teach how to manage satiation properly, they'll be unhealthy in their adult life

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Eating three meals a day =/= managing satiation properly, though.

I grew up in a family where snacks were considered taboo and unhealthy - it taught me nothing other than I was hungry a lot, and to spend all my money on snacks as a teenager to stop that hunger.

As an adult, I tend to eat 5 small meals and/or snacks a day, at around 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm and 8pm. It's not unhealthy to snack - it all depends on what you're eating and your overall lifestyle.

G5000 · 27/11/2025 20:15

who has decided it's best for all people to eat 'three decent meals'? I don't want to eat 3 decent meals, should I sit there and stuff my face even when I'm not the least bit hungry, just because it's lunchtime? How is that healthy?

snoopythebeagle · 27/11/2025 20:16

G5000 · 27/11/2025 20:15

who has decided it's best for all people to eat 'three decent meals'? I don't want to eat 3 decent meals, should I sit there and stuff my face even when I'm not the least bit hungry, just because it's lunchtime? How is that healthy?

It's just because it fits conveniently with the 9-5 working week - there's literally no other reason, lol.

soupyspoon · 27/11/2025 20:25

snoopythebeagle · 27/11/2025 20:13

Eating three meals a day =/= managing satiation properly, though.

I grew up in a family where snacks were considered taboo and unhealthy - it taught me nothing other than I was hungry a lot, and to spend all my money on snacks as a teenager to stop that hunger.

As an adult, I tend to eat 5 small meals and/or snacks a day, at around 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm and 8pm. It's not unhealthy to snack - it all depends on what you're eating and your overall lifestyle.

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I dont believe I made a comment about eating or not eating 3 meals a day

The poster I replied to talked about not having any parameters about what their children eat at all. That is eating with abandon and it doesnt teach anything about satiation.

Can your family afford snacking and random grazing?

Interested in this thread?