"you're not sulking, are you?" - how would this make you feel??

[PunishmentRoundupWithJoon]

Just a vent. You're upset about something that your partner said they'd do. They don't do it. You feel sad and let down and frustrated. Consequently, when they call, you perhaps don't sound as 'perky' as usual, though you haven't said anything at that point (they know what they didn't do!).

Their first question: "you're not sulking, are you?"

Does that get your back up?

It certainly got mine up. I was all set to explain in a reasonable way how I felt, and then that. I just can't articulate how it made me feel. Even more frustrated, yes, but more.

Just interested in how it would make other people feel.

The answer is, 'Don't be so bloody condescending!'

@BadgernTheGarden - fuck me, that would have been ideal!!

You’re not answering what he didn’t do, or whether you sulk often

Exactly.

Several have asked this.

Deafening silence 🤣

@frozendaisy - yes. A simple text to let me know they had arrived somewhere safely - just a 'am here' would have sufficed. I try to impose as little as possible, hate people having to put themselves out for me so try to put as little pressure as possible. A courtesy, text if you will. And if they don't, I worry. He knows this.

Ok so I think that’s a minor thing, and also I note that partners demanding that people check in with them are often labelled controlling so whilst I get it’s annoying, it’s not much

were you sulking?

Well I'd definitely not be sulking anymore, I'd be telling him to get fucked lmao

Now that you said what it was he didn't do... I don't know. It just seems so minor. Are you on him all the time about letting you know where he is? I'd find that really unreasonable.

@shhblackbag - it's because of his job, which can be dangerous. The people he deals with. Just to know he's not been stabbed!

I was accused of sulking by a FWB after a night of the shittest sex ever (selfish/lazy) when he very ungraciously hinted he wanted me to leave early the next morning because my presence was disrupting his schedule.

I assured him his schedule would never again include sex with me so he wouldn't have to worry in future.

@shhblackbag - no, most certainly not on him all the time. Quite the contrary. As I said previously, I'm hyper aware of putting pressure on people.

If I was sulking it would piss me off. If I wasn't it wouldn't.

@niadainud - good for you 😊

It's just the work 'sulking' that's so...Well, it's a childish thing, isn't it? I can only imagine a child with their arms crossed and face screwed up and scowling when 'sulking' is mentioned. I'm the opposite of a sulker. Communication is key.

He has since apologised. He realises it was a terribly misjudged opening remark! I'll say.

Ltb x

You give him too much credit, either that or you think he’s thicker than he is. He knows exactly what he’s doing turning it back on you before you have a chance to ask him about his fuck up then weaponizing your emotions against you. Don’t be so naive

I’d say no, I’m just thoroughly pissed off with you, and end the call.

And? Doesn't give him a free pass to be a twat to her. Accusing someone of sulking when they're upset is twatty behaviour even if they're upset over something relatively minor.

DP once accused me of sulking - told him I don't sulk as I like having the last word - he had to agree and has never accused me of sulking since

"Why would I be sulking." would be my response. Turn it back on him.