Stopping Christmas presents at 18

[ThatWardrobe]

We've said that we'll stop giving Christmas presents to my DB's children when they get to 18... But how do you actually do that when there's a younger one? 😂

I don't really speak to my DB, he's a difficult personality but we've never stopped giving birthday and Christmas presents to his two boys even at times we've fallen out so badly we weren't speaking. We have 2 kids too in case that's relevant, they're younger than his.

One of my nephews turned 18 this year, we gave him a big present for his birthday and said it's because it's the last one. He's got a job, works full-time away from home, and has never bought our kids a present (nor would we expect him to). His younger brother is 16. How do I just get the younger one a present though, realistically? Get him a selection box and explain again? The older one will be at home (theirs) over Christmas, but we're very unlikely to see them in person.

I'm very much overthinking this because my relationship with my DB is difficult!

I just keep giving them.

I agree - if you don't have a close relationship then I would stop at 18 also. I would remind your brother why so he can remind his son if any questions are asked.

I have never stopped at 18. We only ever have a smallish present to nieces and nephews anyway and from around 16ish just given a chocolate Santa or similar with a tenner in a card. Unless you have a huge family or can't budget for it it's odd just to go cold turkey on presents just because they've reached a particular age.

We had this issue and wrapped selection boxes for the older ones until everyone turned 18.

I just buy mine a small gift like box of chocolates, it's easiest.

We always do this in my family. As long as it’s consistent with all the kids it’s fine imo

I stopped when they were 18.

My brother and I agreed to stop when our kids are 18. My niece is an only child, but I have three DC and my brother now gives to the youngest one only. It's fine.

I've continued past 18 and now two of my four nieces and nephews are parents I buy for their children instead of them but the other two that don’t have children still get a gift. I have one aunt who never bought anything and then there was my great aunt who would get me something small every year. When I became an aunt I said I would be like my great aunt as far as Christmas and birthdays go. If I were you I would get the 18 year old just a token gift like others have said until the youngest is 18.

It’s really simple …. Once they reached 18 the presents stopped.
we had 7 nieces and nephews 30 years ago.
One by one they all reached 18, received a good 18th birthday present and that was it.
We have one nephew left who is about 15.
He gets money on his birthday and Christmas and this will stop at 18.

In my family nieces and nephews stop getting presents at 21. I wasn't bothered that my sister continued to get presents from our aunties for a couple of years, it was going to stop for her too eventually. I still get cards, though.

I never stopped.

We stopped buying gifts at 21 with the 21st birthday present being the last. There is a 10 year gap between my niece who no longer gets a gift and my nephew who does - it isn’t a problem, my niece has a full time job and can spend £40.00 on herself whenever she wants and my nephew is still at school and only has pocket money to spend.

You said you have already told your nephew of the situation and I’m sure he’s not forgotten. DSIS still buys for my DC who are young children. You’ve made your decision so now you need to stick with it.

This is what my aunts and uncles did. I’m the eldest and honestly it was not a big deal. One last bigger present at 18, then that was it. I was perfectly able to understand my sisters getting a present, I wasn’t that much of a brat.

For context, I do have 15 cousins so it is a lot for aunts and uncles to be buying for that many adult nieces & nephews.

I'd buy him a box of chocolates or similar -more of a reduced size/value gift than stopping altogether. Do the same with the 16 year old when he reaches 18. You've told them in advance, I'm sure an adult with a full time job will understand and not be overly bothered that you are doing as you've said!

I don’t bother with any presents but be generous as possible with experiences all year round, which I find is much more meaningful and brings us closer

We just stopped at 18….oldest is 40…youngest just turned 18, so I’m now done! ….I have 13 nephews and nieces….I now have 14 great nephew and neices….I buy a gift when they are born and that’s it….just buy for my own GC….it just gets ridiculous otherwise

I stopped when my nieces were 21 & 24. In reality I wished I’d stopped sooner! I stopped because I was never thanked and my presents were never acknowledged. It was only when I stopped that I was asked where their present was 😂😂

Don’t stop giving to the younger one, that’s completely unfair that they miss out just because their sibling is older. They will both totally understand why you’ve given to one and not the other.

When cousins or nieces and nephews get to 18 and there are younger children we send a family gift of wine/spirit and biscuits or chocs for the " adults " and a regular present to the younger ones.

Bloody cheek!

This, all of them should get 18 years of presents, the oldest has had that the younger ones haven't yet

If you're doing that then it has to be that you stop giving presents when each child reaches 18. Make that clear and there should be no issues.

My BIL stopped giving gifts when the kids on his wife's side, who are all close in age had all reached 18. Unfortunately our DS was only 4 when they stopped the gift giving. We has bought gifts for DNephew for 18 years. They didn't think it through, and it really upset DH.

We stop at 18, because there are a lot of nieces and nephews in my family. (12 including my own dc) They all get it.
Ds1 is now 20 and is perfectly capable of understanding that his 16yo brother still gets gifts from aunties and uncles when he doesn't.
I think when my nieces and nephews first turned 18 I got them a token daft present - chocolate or a silly game. In fact we still do that for the gang on my dh's side, but only if we're seeing them at Christmas.

I stopped buying birthday and Xmas gifts for nieces and nephews once they left education. Most of them that was 21 but 2 left school at 18 and got jobs. I helped out my younger sisters 2 DC whilst they were at uni though because I knew she didn't have much spare cash to give them and I could afford to do that.