Pulled in all directions WWYD?

[Sunshinesmon]

Youngest DC (of 4) has lived in Australia for 4 years. I've seen him once in that time. All booked to go and stay for 5 weeks over Christmas. Very excited.

2nd DC has been very unwell for about 6 weeks. Lots of hospital visits, including several multiple night stays, lots of pain, more or less bedbound. No diagnosis.

I really don't know what to do. I hate to let down DC4, and I'm dying to see him, but DC2 has been crying for his mum and we have no idea what might happen with him during the 5 weeks were away.

If we cancel, unlikely to be able to go again for some considerable time due to cost.

Both "boys" are adults with wives BTW.

I'd stay. I couldn't leave DC2 in that state to go on a jolly to Australia.

Claim back as much as you can on insurance or see if you can move flights or sell stuff on.

If it was me, I'd stay. I would be in such a panic worrying about DC2, especially being so far away.

What does your ill son say about it. What kind of diagnosis are hospital leaning towards is it something serious?

No one knows. They've ruled out lots of things but can't say what it is.

If he's been unwell for 6 weeks and lives with his wife, I'd be inclined to go because of how long diagnosis is taking.

We've had similar, my parents went to see my sister in Australia for 9 weeks, another sibling was ill whilst they were away, again all adults with partners. Not going isn't going to make any difference to what's happening, unless the hospital are suggesting something life threatening.

I would go but will keep in touch. You will be gone for 5 weeks and be back after that. But my own boys are preteens so not grown up yet. What does your son say? Does he want you to stay?

Definitely go - he's a grown man with a wife.

If you can’t rearrange and feel it’s your only chance to go, then I’d go.

Gosh OP how awful. It's not a nice decision to have to make, but I think I'd go on the basis that if your son has been unwell for 6 weeks, it not very likely anything more awful will happen while you are away, and you'll be able to spend as long as you want with him when you get home. Your other son has had 4 years without you and has a long time after without you. Obviously if they found something terribly short-term life threatening with ill son before you went you'd change your mind, but I think you and the son a long way away, would both be upset if in a few weeks other son is fine and you get to see him often again and you don't get to see Australia son for another 4 years.

He has a wife and own home. They can keep you informed

Enjoy your trip

What a horrible situation for you all and a really awful position for you to be in. Is there nothing you can do with your travel insurance to move it? I’m not sure you’ll be able to go and enjoy your time with your DS when your other son is so poorly. What does DH say? Yes your DS has a wife but a pretty scary, worrying time for her too and I imagine she needs some support too

I'd go to see your youngest son in Australia. Either things will improve with DC2 while you're gone, or they won't, in which case it will be good timing to give his wife a break.

If DC2 didn't have a wife my answer would be different but he does. And going to Australia is hardly a "jolly" as a PP said - you're going to visit a son you haven't seen in years

Another vote for go to Australia. Unless your son gets some awful news with short term implications between now and then. This might be your best chance to go for a while.

You are able to see DS2 for 2-4 weeks before you go., and to support him and his wife during that time. Have you talked to his wife to see what support she might appreciate or need?

Have you called the travel insurance company to understand where you stand if the situation deteriorates?

DS4 hasn't seen you for years. We all get the costs, it is a lot. So make the most of this trip. I think you should go.

Find out about travel insurance - see if there is something that would cover you if "has been vaguely unwell for sometime" changed to "is likely to be life threatening while away" and not just class it as a pre-existing condition.

I would go but be prepared to cut your trip short if necessary.

6 weeks of illness with multiple nights in hospital, now bed bound with no diagnosis? No I wouldn’t leave.

And I wouldn’t expect my mum to visit me if my sister was unwell like that.

I have 3 adult sons and I would I go, I may make the trip a bit shorter if that was a possibility.

As DS2 is an adult and isn't on his own I think I'd go but on the understanding that you'd come back early if it turned out to be anything serious

No, I wouldn’t be able to leave if one of my kids was scared and bed bound.

This

Absolutely you should go. Australia’s not so far away that you can’t get back if something happens that means you need to be back in the UK. Your DC is a grown adult and he should want you to go. I’ve just come back from visiting one of my kids who’s in Australia at the moment. It was fantastic and the flights aren’t that bad. Go!

What was DS who is ill health like before?

What was/is his job status?

Go to Aus but not for so long?