You wake up to find out your last dream is on the front pages of the newspapers , what are the headlines?

[OneUmberJoker]

That toadie of neighbours was mean to me

@Giggorata yours is brilliant!
and @FastFood your last line really made me laugh 😆

Mine would be Local Harridan Killed When Mudslide Buries House. (I occasionally have night terrors and this one was an Aberfan-type hellishly bad dream during the night of Storm Claudia).

Toddler wears chain mail sleepsuit to battle

Woman waits at bus stop not sure if the next bus will take her where she wants to go (to meet grown up children for coffee).

Most of my dreams are travel related. Would love it if someone could tell me why.

(I love how absurd headlines sound like cryptic crossword clues)

Woman Buys Truck, Regrets Choice Three Days Later and Returns

Women’s Big Day Ruined

A brides big day was ruined as her steel toe capped biker boots did not go with her bridal gown. To top it all, the wedding service was gate crashed by a 9ft horse.

Middle aged women accidentally kills heads of mafia clan by putting too much salt in their pies.

Or the Sun version...

Who ate all the pies? Gangster nan offs Mafia dons in salty slaying.

Woman eats body weight in chocolate

Man who dies six months ago is still alive

"Man, surprised, drops pie" should be a cryptic crossword clue!

Just posted a similar comment before reading yours!

mass community bead sweep up after a party and no one helping leaving me to do it alone. I know I need psycho analysis

Woman dreams she has a cold.

Thrilling. I used to dream about dragons but I’ve had a cold and subsequent hearing loss for 6 weeks now and it’s all I dream about.

I have news for you. That was not a dream. 😂

Yes to the toilet one a regular dream.

Woman steals giant chip butty from her husband and eats it really fast.

Woman folds Mini in half by reversing over garden wall

I do have a Mini. I have not reversed it over a garden wall. I was happy to realise that I still had an intact car, but was a little disappointed to realise that I wasn't married to Stuart Scola (a character in "FBI").

Uni Student Helps Foil Dodgy Professor

It was great fun running around campus highlighting the nefarious deeds of Dr Lucy Flanagan, and I got offered a job as a lecturer off the back.of it!

Woman baffles medics with infinite urine stream
(honestly quite amazed I didn’t piss the bed during the dream)