You wake up to find out your last dream is on the front pages of the newspapers , what are the headlines?

[OneUmberJoker]

That toadie of neighbours was mean to me

I am a shopkeeper in Feudal China and the unpleasant local Lord wishes to have me as a concubine , but one of the army general is secretly investigating him while also wanting to marry me.

I’ve been watching too many Chinese melodramas recently.

Blow to Local Tourism as Buyer Pulls out of Stately Home Purchase

"It was just an ordinary terraced house when we viewed it," woman claims. "Now it has gone all enormous. The rooms are too huge to hoover and the lawns too much to mow.

"Plus there is a gift shop and some restaurants and a financial services business on the premises," she continued. "They weren't there at the viewing and I have never employed anyone before. I was scared that I would have to take a business studies course."

Cat escapes from basket on trip to wildlife park. "Why on earth didn't I leave him at home?" owner wails.

Woman fails PhD due to avoiding maths lectures all year

It’s a regular nightmare. But I did get the PhD and I passed all my maths exams. I assume I had massive anxiety throughout.

Sleep drug peddled on black market!

In my dream houses in the UK had vents through which the government pumped a "sleep drug" to put everyone to sleep at 9pm (curfew meant you were in by 8pm). It would render you unconscious. In my dream I was travelling to another country and needed to buy the sleep drug for my travel as I wouldn't sleep without it 🙃

Boss making me rub a cat

Now I'd like the same thread with Take A Break headlines

Tried to go on a holiday to the Maldives but somehow ended up in Glasgow just as some kind of military exercise went wrong, a nuclear missile was incoming and the only place to hide was a pub. Taylor swift was at the bar and a ginger cat starting scratching my leg. I then was panicking as i couldn’t find my mince pies and knew I’d need food to survive in the cellar.

No idea of the headline I’m still recovering 😂

my dream last night... my best friend in Canada called me crying and told me she needed the @#$%^ suite. Yes she has a named room in my home, although other guests use it. She told me her husband was leaving her...um.. 10 years ago she dumped his cheating ass and has raised not only her two kids, but her stepson from his first relationship. She is a fantastic mother to all 3 kids that are now all between 18 and 26, and she was here in punta cana in her room... 2 weeks ago with her sister in law.. we had an awesome girls week. No idea what made this dream come to me lol.

I was sat in a pub with Shane MacGowan.

My most frequently recurring dreams can be summarised as:

Woman frustrated by transparent and/or filthy public toilet cubicles

Fifty-something hasn't done enough revision for her A-levels

Woman breaks into flat she sold 30 years ago - caught in situ by current owners

The doctor from the Halloween movies screaming at me… The Exorcism of Emily Rose was real and it DOES HAPPEN HAHAHHAHAHA!!

"UNFAZED WOMANS PANTS FALL DOWN"

I dreamt I was mid conversation with someone and my pants fell down to my ankles 🤣🤣🤣 I wasn't bothered at all in my dream which is odd as in RL I'd be mortified haha

'Woman gave Donald Trump a bj voluntarily!'

I woke up this morning crying and dp didnt help by laughing at me!

I HAVE ALL OF THESE DREAMS!

Except it's not A Levels, it's uni and I haven't been to any lectures, I don't know my timetable, and exams are coming

The toilet one is a regular!

Scouts and leaders lost in a vineyard in France.

I'm a leader, but we haven't gone to France. Or vineyards. Obviously the dream was warning me just in case we decide our next camp should be abroad.

Deceased and much loved relative reincarnated (with a new haircut) for mysterious reunion at childhood home,

Local woman arrested for parading through town, naked but for a top hat.

Woman ruins Othello production, admits “I thought I could wing it”

White Cat Called Rupert Breaks Into Local Cafe and Man, Surprised, Drops Pie

That I'd forgotten to do my Maths homework. Im 53.

Childminder watches in horror as her young charge flies away on out of control sausage balloon.

“It was all over the place,” sobbed distraught Giggorata, 68. “It just zoomed off. I am so afraid he crashed somewhere and is hurt.”
Witnesses described how the young boy laughed as he rode the orange sausage and corkscrewed away out of sight.
”I've only just met him,” heartbroken Giggorata confided, “so I don't really know him at all.”
A spokesperson for the Orange Sausage Balloon company said that their devices are safe if instructions are carefully followed, and the childminder must have been irresponsible to allow the boy to mount the balloon.
The boy's parents were unavailable for comment.

I don't know this child in RL. And the hacks always get your age wrong…

Is this a euphemism for something, anything? My mind has gone gallivanting in many directions ! I would stroke a cat but not rub it, this is why I am thinking many thoughts and some are unsavoury!😂🤣 In my defence I am very tired, it’s been a long two weeks. 🤪

Lady survives cruise ship rolling down hill!

I had dreams for literally years about having to take chemistry, maths and physics a levels, having not been to class for most of the course…