Should I accept financial charity help from a stranger?

[TheSadWife]

I’m a recent widow. My husband was well known in the business community.

An MD that owns their own (highly successful nationwide) business in the same trade as my husband, wishes to gift me a small amount of money after a post I made asking how to write invoices for customers who still hadn’t paid after his death. He’s looked at my social media posts and seen me and the kids are struggling, and just wants to offer his sympathy and help a fellow business colleague.

He talks about his own wife and family and remarked that he hoped someone would look out for them one day too.

although I don’t know him personally, I know of him through the trade and he’s well thought of and genuine. It is a totally genuine offer.

it’s a few hundred pounds, and that would help so much because me and the kids were left with nothing no property, no monies, nothing.

I don’t know how to accept, or if I even should, and if I did how on earth do I phrase the kind acceptance to him, it’s such a mind blowing gesture I don’t know how to word it.

Is it wrong? My husband was always doing things like this for others, for example not charging for work done for people just starting out in business, or if he knew they were single parents, that kind of thing.

I just don’t know what to do. Please can you help advise me? I’ve never been in this situation before.

thankyou

There’s currently 25% poll vote says not to accept …… this is what I’m worried about 😩 it feels so wrong, but yet it is exactly what my husband would offer to a family of a colleague who’d died.

Such a difficult and delicate situation

He obviously feels he can afford it. It’s not like youve gone asking for money, he’s made a genuine offer. I’d take it. I’m sorry for your loss.

The people who have said no are probably the type whose pride would keep them from accepting food if they were starving.

I would take it with grace, he obviously wants to help and you need the help, it’s a no brainer to me

He wouldn't offer if it wasn't something he wanted to do, your DH must have been well thought of within the industry, and they want to show suport for the family of a fellow businessman. Accept and give your DC a loverly Christmas, or whatever else you need right now, you've clearly had a tough year

@TheSadWife It's now 86% in favour.

Definitely accept, even if notionally to spend on DC. As to how to accept, I’d ask chatGPT for a response!

Sorry for your loss, let the man help he has given his reasons it feels good to gift (as your husband knew) more so than to receive so you both benefit from his kind offer. I hope this Christmas is as good as it can be for you and this difficult time. X

For the wording, just say thank you and that you don’t have the words to accept elegantly but that you’re sure he understands how hard this time is rn.

(Or use chat gpt to help you word it)

He’s offering out of goodwill, not guilt. He’s freely chosen to make an offer he can afford out of affection or loyalty for your husband. Accept the gesture. If you feel guilt, just remember that when you are in a better position you can pay that good deed forward

Of course you should accept. And 25% of people saying no equated to 1 person when you commented.

Out of curiousity, why have you been left with “nothing no property, no monies, nothing”? This seems odd given how you describe your husband as well regarded in the business community and generous to others who struggled.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I've yes to accept. Especially if it helps you get on your feet.

You have met one of life's gentlemen. They are a rare breed. Accept with good grace.

Has he made the offer privately?

Yes, accept and aim to pay it forward when things improve for you, which they will.

I am so sorry for your loss.

This man has made a lovely gesture and I would accept graciously. Maybe put something in your acceptance that you will pay it forward one day when you are in a position to do so.

I hope you have had help with the invoice issue too. And that people pay up.

“thank you for your generous gift. I can take a cheque or here’s my bank details”

Accept it. Say what you’ve said here. He is very kind. His gesture is going to help and you are enormously grateful.

Just accept it. It isn't a lot of money, to him anyway, just a nice gesture. Take it in the spirit it's given. 'Thank you so much, it will make a big difference and my husband would have been so grateful too.'

Accepting kindness is a kindness too

What a kind gesture. Unless there is any red flag of a “strings attached” nature (doesn’t sound like there is), I would accept graciously. There is still kindness and goodness in our world. I would help a stranger in the same way if I could. In fact, I have. In It’s A Wonderful Life there’s that quote: all that you can take with you is that which you’ve given away. I believe that’s true.

The money has been offered to you in good faith by someone who can clearly afford to give it. Please accept the kind gesture and don't feel that you're doing anything wrong in accepting help that is offered freely and well meant.

I'm sorry about your loss. I'm glad that this stranger has shown you some kindness.

Just thank him for his gesture and let him know that his generosity means a lot at a very difficult time.

Have you applied for the Bereavement Support Payment?

https://www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment/eligibility

Please accept, it is freely offered. Use the money for your family and when you are able, do something for someone else who is in difficulties. It might not be money, it might be helping someone clean or cooking a meal.
Good deeds go round. They also usually come back.

Sorry for your loss. 💐 take the money. Say you will pay it back when things improve if makes things easier to accept

but why didn’t your dh leave you protected with life insurance or any savings