Cheapest thing a person has ever done

[Unorganisedchaos2]

Inspired by the children's birthday party thread, Im sure this has been done so many times but humor me as Im stuck at home with a poorly DD...

Our family once knew a couple who were convinced that the baby they were due to have shouldn't cost them any more than the family allowance and a grant I believe you used to get in the early 2000's. Some of the things they did:

• Commented that it had worked out well that the baby was born 2 months prem as they had been able to claim family allowance but he hadn't cost them anything yet as the hospital were providing nappies, milk etc.
• Refused to visit the baby until the hospital had issued a free parking pass then only visited 3 times a week because they were tired and as it was a 30 minute it was already costing a lot in petrol.
• Did a separate food shop for him of all supermarket own brand food and £1 meals, she actually had "his money" in one of those money bags the bank used and made the checkout person run it through as two separate shops.
• Spent hours in charity shops buying up the next few years with of clothes for him, at his second birthday they were asking us to buy clothes for 7-8 year old.
• Asked my mum to register as a childminder so they could claim childcare but expected my mum to do it for free (not honestly sure how that was ever going to work out)
• Not child related but he refused to drive above 50 MPH because he believed it was uneconomical, even if he was late for work or holding up a queue of traffic.

Went to a pub with my then boyfriend and another couple. They weren't friends and I can't remember why the were there, bf's relatives maybe or something.

Ordered beers and kept them coming and also a large platter of snacks to share, onion rings, bite size pieces of ham, chorizo, cheese, that sort of thing.

Time to pay. I presumed we'll split it two ways, couple one and couple two. We all had the same thing, all beer drinkers too.

The other boyfriend proceeded to tell the table the EXACT amounts everyone ate, so you had 7 onion rings, 5 pieces of chorizo - that sort of thing. I have no idea how did he manage to count it, or if he'd just pulled the numbers out of his arse. Then he whipped out the calculator and counted everyone's share proportionally, down to a single cent. Even his own girlfriend's. So: 'Mary, that's 23.46 from you' kind of thing..

I suppose technically he was being 'fair'. But jesus.

@Worriedaboutrapecourts
I’m so sorry for your loss. It sounds like your dad was a lovely man ❤️

No the were not steamers but triangle shaped pans which fitted on 1 ring to make a round pan, popular in the 50's.

Vegetable steamer, different veg in each saucepan?

Er, I take it you haven't heard of post natal depression then? Or post partum psychosis?

Thanks to chemical and hormonal changes after giving birth, many women are unable to feel any attachment to their newborn. They have no choice in the matter. They cannot will themselves to feel that bond in the same way diabetics can't will themselves to process insulin correctly.

When DD1 was born I felt nothing for her. It was like the midwife had handed me a total stranger's newborn. All I felt inside was a terrible, inner bleakness and panic and even before we left hospital I knew something was very wrong. Not surprisingly, I was quickly diagnosed with severe PND. I wouldn't wish what I suffered on anyone, and it took months for me to fall in love with DD1.

So, yeah sadly, heartbreakingly, many women don't get to experience that immediate, intense bond with their newborn. It's not incredible that they don't, it's just terribly sad.

My husband has an aunt who has never been married and doesn't have children. Her only family is my in-laws and my husband. She is very generous with him.

We went to visit her with my ILs, bought flowers as a hostess gift and when we walked into her apartment there was a huge gift basket from an exclusive tea store, think F&M style, for us. Worth a lot more than the flowers we brought.

We thanked her profusely, put the gift basket in the car and drove back to our ILs place in the evening. The next morning my husband comes into our room while I was barely awake and asks if I wanted the coffee from the hamper, as "it was the only thing his mother didn't want".
My MIL kept the whole basket - tea caddies, nice biscuits and crackers, jars of marmalades and lemon curd, kitchen towels and tea strainers. We got a small bag of coffee.
I was too stunned to say anything.

We had a boss buy an advent calendar for her staff. Lovely thought. But it was one 99p advert calendar between 14 staff plus she wanted a day too. 🤣 If she hadnt bought anything, no one would care but but was strangely insulting to buy 15 adults one cheap advent calendar to share. I mean how would that even work?

Some of these stories are unbelievable!! A few of my experiences;

a work colleague who was notoriously tight anyway (never married, no kids and inherited a house outright from parents so absolutely no money worries and better off than all of our department).
moaned about any collections for our small dept for anyone’s birthday, birth of a child etc (never more than a £5 donation each).
When bank charges were a thing she was going to go to a company to get them back for her taking a 3rd of whatever she got back so I offered to do it for nothing as I’d done it before so why the hell wouldn’t I offer?
she got £27k back and took the department out (6 of us) to say thanks and bill came to about £200 I think and literally did not stop going on about that for years.
Sil again so mean (as is her mum) when out for food always works out her exact amount and puts it straight in the table first so she can’t ’be done out of money’ (her words) and no chance of leaving a tip.
she also did a market research where they give you snacks whilst there. She tipped the whole basket of sweets into her bag (she doesn’t eat them btw).
I had a friend go to the bar with money I gave for our drinks and pocketed the change.
Step brothers mum only allows one sheet toilet paper for a wee (Lord knows how many for anything else)!!
for me being tight is one of the absolute worst traits, cannot abide it

That's terrible. I wouldn't talk to them again either.

Being invited to dinner at a friends house, taking a bottle of wine and flowers. She then text me the next day asking for half the money for the food they’d bought. So odd.

I dont donate to office collections. Even £5 a time gets too much. If I like someone enough to give them money, then I'll get them something myself. Plus it gets all awkward if you don't know/like the person but you gave £5 last week for that other person and...

The turning point for me was when I was expected to donate to someone I barely knew because they were getting her a present because she'd just become a grandmother!

I dont expect anything back. I dont even tell people when my birthday is.

We know people obsessive about saving money. Will eat out but only at cheapest places ordering cheap meals.
Will haggle and then boast about getting cheap food, driving for miles to get it.
cut price holidays. Saving all the time, saying he has no money. Tax avoidance very actively pursued .
then one day let slip they had 5 million just in investments and savings.

Oh I know, I have one of them in my family. Awful woman, you're better off NC.

Thank you for saying that @MatchaMatchaMatcha

I was sadly one of 'those' mums who didn't bond with their first born DS and fell into a deep depression within a couple of days of having him. It took me 12 months to recover to any kind of 'normal' life.

He's 23 now, I love him more than life and I still cry when I remember those first 12 months after having him because the depression illness took away what should have been the most cherished and precious times of a woman's life. I'm still heart broken about it now.

Im not shocked when people say that the person was tight and then had a very healthy bank balance. How do you think they got rich?

When I was a teenager my best friends birthday was a few days before mine. She basically always gave me cast off from her birthday presents (CD's, DVD's she'd received and didn't want etc). I was always there at her birthdays so I'd see her receive/unwrap these gifts!

One year, she received a large case of nail polishes from Boots. She 'gifted' me a selection of the colours she didn't like from the box a few days later.

I would have evicted them on the spot. They are selfish, ungrateful freeloaders and the fact that they didn't even offer your kids one of the treats that they had just made in your kitchen would be the absolute final straw for me.

The money for what was eaten at a dinner party reminded me of another one.

My sisters FIL and stepMIL moved to another country. Sister and her husband would visit once a year incurring the cost of flights and car hire. This was when they were in their early 20s, in fairly junior "starter" jobs, saving for a mortgage etc so all a bit tight. FIL had a full time job with free accommodation.

The FIL is notoriously mean with other people though happy to splash cash on himself (personalised number plates etc).One time the day after they arrived MIL said she would cook a roast dinner. Quick as a flash FIL asked them for £10 each "as meat is expensive". After initially being shocked my sister managed to find the presence of mind to respond "well you are coming to us for Christmas, does that mean you'll be contributing towards the turkey and the other stuff?" Strangely he quickly backed down but what a CF!

Who? You didn't quote anyone.

I don't know if it helps at all, but I don't know a single mother who can remember those early weeks regardless of whether they had pnd, struggled to bond, or not.

Depression is a bitch but you're still a mum

A friend had her bday the other week and had a gathering at home, all planned well in advance and we'd agreed to go. Day before she asks for £10 per person to cover the cost of food as it cost more than expected. Including kids 😆😆
Tbh, she's a good friend and we paid it as she was obviously in a tight spot. But we're still laughing about it - we definitely didn't eat £40 of food.

I had a friend who was well-off but extremely tight. One time on my birthday a group of us went out for Tapas at a local restaurant. Everyone was cool with splitting the bill so we all put in the £25 or whatever, and agreed to add a few extra pounds each as a tip.

She was the last one to receive the bill so she counted the money and realised (because of the tips) it already added up to the bill total, so she didn't contribute anything! (not even her own meal/drinks!)

I didn't know until a friend who was sat next to her told me afterwards.

I noticed afterwards that she did things like this quite often.

No he didnt. He won fair and square and generously donated most of his winning to charity. What a nice man.
Some people are such whingers!!

Someone i used to know was married to a man who was loaded-both where tighter than a ducks arse

Anyway,they sold a bike on Ebay (I think-this was about 17/18 years ago) and it went for 99p (they'd got it free from somewhere and where hoping for at least £50)

Lady showed up to pick it up and handed over £1

She waited for her penny change and there was some sort of stand off while both sides waited for the other to cave

My friend won as she crowed about it but was pissed off at the awful feedback!

A penny-she had a jar with loads of them right next to the front door

The other was my then manager at work

The big boss would buy sweets and toffees for us at christmas (it's stopped now)

Managers wife would put them in the staff room and we had an unwritten rule of 'take one/two but leave some for others' so everyone got some if they wanted them

One year I saw manager walking out with massive boxes and putting them in his car

I didnt give it much thought until a nasty rumour started that hed stolen our treats

He was forced to hand it all back and moaned that he was going to give them out as christmas presents!

He was the one that earned the most out of all of us

Tosser

I had a first date with a man. He asked me to go for dinner with him so we went to a lovely restaurant. I'd been there before and was really looking forward to it.

Well he stood on the pavement reading the menu, and decided that it was too expensive. That would have been fine if he had asked me to pay half.

What he actually did was cross the road to the chip shop, where he bought one portion of fish and chips, and he shared them with me in his car.

Needless to say there wasn't a second data. He did ask me but he was such a cheapskate.

He was a merchant banker and very well off.