Page 33 | Cheapest thing a person has ever done

Unorganisedchaos2 · 2025-11-17T13:38:44+00:00

Inspired by the children's birthday party thread, Im sure this has been done so many times but humor me as Im stuck at home with a poorly DD... Our family once knew a couple who were convinced that the baby they were due to have shouldn't cost them any more than the family allowance and a grant I believe you used to get in the early 2000's. Some of the things they did: - Commented that it had worked out well that the baby was born 2 months prem as they had been able to claim family allowance but he hadn't cost them anything yet as the hospital were providing nappies, milk etc. - Refused to visit the baby until the hospital had issued a free parking pass then only visited 3 times a week because they were tired and as it was a 30 minute it was already costing a lot in petrol. - Did a separate food shop for him of all supermarket own brand food and £1 meals, she actually had "his money" in one of those money bags the bank used and made the checkout person run it through as two separate shops. - Spent hours in charity shops buying up the next few years with of clothes for him, at his second birthday they were asking us to buy clothes for 7-8 year old. - Asked my mum to register as a childminder so they could claim childcare but expected my mum to do it for free (not honestly sure how that was ever going to work out) - Not child related but he refused to drive above 50 MPH because he believed it was uneconomical, even if he was late for work or holding up a queue of traffic.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 19:08

"As for one poster being horrified at someone dressing their kids in their own childhood clothes - what’s wrong with that?"

Fashions change. I had to wear my older cousins' clothes so I was wearing 70s clothes in the 80s and 80s clothes in the 90s. You may not think it matters, but I was picked on and absolutely dreaded wear your own clothes days at school.

Drachuughtty · 14/12/2025 19:13

I was once gifted a dish sponge for my birthday. Which struck me as extremely cheap, bordering on rude as the giver was invited to mine for a birthday meal.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 19:15

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 14/12/2025 18:47

Pretty much the same as buying normal flowers if you're a guest. The ornate family ones - like the ones that spell out 'MUM' or whoever - cost more; but the equivalent cost of a nice normal bunch of flowers is great. Tenner or maybe twenty is fine; but just chucking a few coppers in is more insulting than giving nothing (unless it's from a small child who wants to give some of their pocket money).

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"Pretty much the same as buying normal flowers if you're a guest."

Yes, but how is someone supposed to know how much this costs? It's almost always 'family flowers only' now so it's a bit much to expect everyone to know how much flowers cost and that this is how much they are supposed to give as a donation.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 19:49

WearyAuldWumman · 19/11/2025 15:08

I'm not 65 and this has bothered me any time I remember...I think I was deemed to be the cheapskate?

Was at uni. The Russian Department party was being held at the flat of two of the girls who were in senior honours. We all took along food or booze.

I was the only person who took along vodka - quite expensive for me. Everyone else had taken cheap wine.

Had been there 10 minutes when one of the two girls burst into tears - she was obviously very drunk.

One of the senior honours boys said that we could move the party to his...so I reached to take back the vodka I'd brought for the party. "Oh, no!" said the non-drunk girl..."I think you leave that here!"

I was too embarrassed to argue - my thinking had been that the vodka was for the party, not for them specifically, though I guess that they were providing the venue that year. (The year before, it had been held at the premises of the local SovScot Society. The change of venue had happened in a hurry.)

ETA I was always that girl who helped clear up after the party, etc.

Edited

You were right. The vodka was for the party. Plus you were all students and it's obvious that you didn't buy the vodka just for them to keep.

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 14/12/2025 20:21

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 19:15

"Pretty much the same as buying normal flowers if you're a guest."

Yes, but how is someone supposed to know how much this costs? It's almost always 'family flowers only' now so it's a bit much to expect everyone to know how much flowers cost and that this is how much they are supposed to give as a donation.

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True, not everybody will know how much flowers cost, I suppose, if they never buy them. I hardly ever do, but I know how much they typically cost in the supermarket from the very few times when I do buy them for somebody.

The thing is that nobody is actually saying that you need to give the exact same amount as a typical bunch of flowers would have cost - it's just a polite way to say that the family don't want their own very carefully planned floral tributes overshadowed by or mixed in with random ones from all of the guests, but that donations to their nominated charity are welcome if you'd like to give something in memory of the deceased (and nobody is saying that you have to give anything at all), without the crassness of telling everybody that they have to give a tenner or twenty quid or whatever, or otherwise including a price list from the florist for you to compare.

It's the funeral equivalent of when people do you a small favour, you ask how much you owe them and they reply with "oh, just buy me a drink". They don't expect you to guess what kind of drinks they prefer and to either give them said drinks or to price up an 'acceptable' bottle of wine or a six-pack of beers and give them £9.48 or whatever the equivalent of what they cost - it's just a socially discreet way of saying "Give me a tenner, or maybe twenty if you're feeling especially generous".

latetothefisting · 14/12/2025 20:30

Flowerlovinglady · 13/12/2025 09:31

I noticed a workman who was at my house recently just for the morning was charging up his phone and power tools. It's bloody cheeky tbh.

agree with everyone else, you've just demonstrated your own tightness rather than his.

It costs less than 1p for a full phone charge, ffs!

Lunde · 14/12/2025 20:58

Inwhitelights · 14/12/2025 09:02

I don’t see this as being tight or mean, quite the opposite .. she could have not given you anything, plus it was her birthday so why would she give you any of her presents, esp the ones she liked? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Edited

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Because she regifted the crap stuff that OP had already seen instead of spending anything on OP's a birthday present

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 21:05

"He wouldn't have PAID for a stamp!
Trust me,he would have blagged one off someone"

He may have done what all my extended family did in the 80s and I didn't even know was wrong - kept any stamp that was accidentally not franked to be re-used.

WearyAuldWumman · 14/12/2025 21:08

Politicians247UnderwearExtinguishingService · 14/12/2025 20:21

True, not everybody will know how much flowers cost, I suppose, if they never buy them. I hardly ever do, but I know how much they typically cost in the supermarket from the very few times when I do buy them for somebody.

The thing is that nobody is actually saying that you need to give the exact same amount as a typical bunch of flowers would have cost - it's just a polite way to say that the family don't want their own very carefully planned floral tributes overshadowed by or mixed in with random ones from all of the guests, but that donations to their nominated charity are welcome if you'd like to give something in memory of the deceased (and nobody is saying that you have to give anything at all), without the crassness of telling everybody that they have to give a tenner or twenty quid or whatever, or otherwise including a price list from the florist for you to compare.

It's the funeral equivalent of when people do you a small favour, you ask how much you owe them and they reply with "oh, just buy me a drink". They don't expect you to guess what kind of drinks they prefer and to either give them said drinks or to price up an 'acceptable' bottle of wine or a six-pack of beers and give them £9.48 or whatever the equivalent of what they cost - it's just a socially discreet way of saying "Give me a tenner, or maybe twenty if you're feeling especially generous".

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The undertakers in our area normally provide a collection box with a printed note to say which charity is benefiting from donations. (Since Covid, some set up an electronic means to donate on a memorial website.)

But yes - I've was surprised to find coppers and other small change in the collection box when handed the collection box by the undertaker. I rounded it up to a decent amount myself and sent a cheque to the charity.

My husband's funeral was during Covid and had restricted numbers as a result. I think that the death notice simply asked for people to send donations to a particular charity. This time round, I didn't collate any of it and simply sent a decently sized online donation in memory of my husband.

ETA I've somehow lost half my post. I'd also said that our local crem doesn't have space for a large number of floral tributes - you can only get so many on and around the coffin.

DH had the family spray, a wreath from his regiment and his regimental beret.

After the service, the crematorium staff returns any items such as the beret and places the floral tributes inside a fenced area. I've actually just remembered that I was asked whether I wanted to take the flowers away with me, but declined.

So far as I'm aware, they're only there until the funerals the following day - so there's no point in non-family flowers. It's different for cemetery funerals.

rookiemere · 14/12/2025 21:28

LiftAndLetLift · 14/12/2025 07:55

I'm AuDHD and used to do this (keeping track and going 50/50 when someone said they wanted to split costs), thinking it was entirely logical and the correct way of doing things, before a friend explained it made me look tight!

I was mortified. I don't do it now.

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I use splitwise on trips with friends which means it’s fair for all of us. I would far rather be away with someone who worked out what we each owed than doing the whole you bought lunch so I will pay for dinner as inevitably you either end up subsidising someone or inadvertently taking advantage of a friend.

The only time it didn’t work was with friend who hates discussing money. She has ended up out of pocket because she didn’t send bank details for something and the time we went away as a group and used a money splitting app she couldn’t get her head around the way it minimised the number of transactions by rationalising the debt.

daleylama · 14/12/2025 21:37

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 17:37

Well, the dishwashing liquid could damage her skin and dermatology expenses would be on the NHS.

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Yes of course cos dishwashing liquid is notorious for causing skin damage.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/12/2025 21:43

Gwenhwyfar · 14/12/2025 19:15

"Pretty much the same as buying normal flowers if you're a guest."

Yes, but how is someone supposed to know how much this costs? It's almost always 'family flowers only' now so it's a bit much to expect everyone to know how much flowers cost and that this is how much they are supposed to give as a donation.

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Check the internet or the supermarket for prices of bouquets, @Gwenhwyfar.

And surely everyone (who hasn’t been living under a rock for 50 years) knows that you can’t buy a bunch of flowers with a handful of coppers!

cadburyegg · 14/12/2025 21:51

My exh who pays no maintenance, once brought our children back after a few days staying with his parents. My youngest, who must have been about 5 years old at the time, came in holding half a pack of Cheerios saying “nanny gave these to us”. The grandparents had obviously bought the packet in preparation for them staying and had given the leftovers for them to take home. My exh followed 5 year old in the house and took the packet back off him, saying “that is to keep at my flat, it’s not to stay at this house”. Twat.

Guzy · 14/12/2025 22:01

TonicGinIceFruit · 19/11/2025 14:45

My University boyfriend’s parents lived an hour away from our campus so he went home regularly on weekends. The first time he invited me along he told his Mum on the Saturday I’d be joining him on his visit the following day which was Mother’s Day. I went and bought a bunch of flowers and a bottle of Prosecco to take with me (I had met his parents before, but this was the first time seeing them in their own home)
We arrived and his Mum and Dad were making a roast, his sister was there too. His Mum shooed us all out of the kitchen saying “let me set the table / finish prepping” so we sat chatting in their lounge which was connected to their dining room by folding doors.
His Mum soon called “Dad, (boyfriend’s name), (sister’s name) it’s time for lunch!”
I thought it was strange she didn’t call for me, but I stood up anyway at which point his Dad said “it’s ok you can wait here”
They had a full roast, dessert and a cheeseboard whilst I sat feeling incredibly awkward in the lounge with the TV on low. The doors were half open so I could hear them eating and the conversations they had. They even popped open the Prosecco I had bought and merrily toasted each other 'Happy Mother's Day!'
They had a lovely big house and rental income from several properties. His Dad had been able to retire at 50, they had multiple holidays a year and owned a boat – money really wasn’t an issue!
I declined when he next invited me for “Sunday lunch” 😂

Omg how can people do this. In our family we will go hungry but make sure the guest is well fed.

cadburyegg · 14/12/2025 22:41

Oh another one, except it was really me just being taken for a fool.

I had a friend who had been jobless for awhile. Her house share arrangement came to an end (she was thrown out basically) and I offered for her to live with me, I thought it would be for 4 months ish max and she ended up staying for 18 months. At first, I didn’t ask her to contribute to anything - even food. I knew she didn’t have a huge amount of money.

I started to wise up when she started to take the piss. We used to do a Tesco shop but I paid for it all. She once went ballistic when my then 8 year old helped himself to “her” cereal. It was identical to the packet we normally get, so my 8 year old had no way of knowing it wasn’t ours.

We used to go out occasionally. I started to notice that she always had a way of getting out of paying for things. Whole meals, cinema tickets, hospital parking, she’d always hang back and suddenly me and other friends realised we’d paid for it all.

We went to the beach once with my kids and I thought she might have offered to buy them an ice cream after all I did for her. Nope…

Shortly before she moved out she let slip that she never declared to the DWP that she’d moved out of her old house share. So she’d been claiming about £800ish a month in benefits for 18 months.

daleylama · 15/12/2025 01:36

cadburyegg · 14/12/2025 22:41

Oh another one, except it was really me just being taken for a fool.

I had a friend who had been jobless for awhile. Her house share arrangement came to an end (she was thrown out basically) and I offered for her to live with me, I thought it would be for 4 months ish max and she ended up staying for 18 months. At first, I didn’t ask her to contribute to anything - even food. I knew she didn’t have a huge amount of money.

I started to wise up when she started to take the piss. We used to do a Tesco shop but I paid for it all. She once went ballistic when my then 8 year old helped himself to “her” cereal. It was identical to the packet we normally get, so my 8 year old had no way of knowing it wasn’t ours.

We used to go out occasionally. I started to notice that she always had a way of getting out of paying for things. Whole meals, cinema tickets, hospital parking, she’d always hang back and suddenly me and other friends realised we’d paid for it all.

We went to the beach once with my kids and I thought she might have offered to buy them an ice cream after all I did for her. Nope…

Shortly before she moved out she let slip that she never declared to the DWP that she’d moved out of her old house share. So she’d been claiming about £800ish a month in benefits for 18 months.

Hope you let DWP know

daleylama · 15/12/2025 01:43

Drachuughtty · 14/12/2025 19:13

I was once gifted a dish sponge for my birthday. Which struck me as extremely cheap, bordering on rude as the giver was invited to mine for a birthday meal.

a dog made out of 2 dish mops was my most surprising 21st birthday gift

daleylama · 15/12/2025 01:47

Gwenhwyfar · 13/12/2025 09:29

"I asked her to bring a loaf of bread, two packs of bacon and a box of eggs so we could all have a bacon butty for breakfast whilst getting ready, she also enjoyed a lovely sandwich. A couple of weeks after the wedding she asked me to transfer her £10 for the breakfast items."

Sorry, but I think this is fair. It would be one thing if you told her to bring her own breakfast, but you gave her a precise shopping list for things YOU chose so yes, you should pay.

Both parties being tight here

daleylama · 15/12/2025 02:16

SlowSloths · 13/12/2025 18:08

A recent example brought by this morning's post. To save on the cost of a stamp, a relative has sent us a family Christmas card, put it in an envelope marked 'Christmas Card' and then tucked it inside my birthday card which is bigger and so is the first thing I opened. My birthday is in January.

And this has cost you money, how?

SlowSloths · 15/12/2025 02:22

daleylama · 15/12/2025 02:16

And this has cost you money, how?

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Er... it didn't.

The thread title is 'Cheapest thing a person has ever done'. That is my anecdote.

AquaForce · 15/12/2025 03:55

TomRaider · 19/11/2025 11:28

My mother is a twin. A few years ago we took the both of them out to the local carvery for a meal, We all had the fixed price carvery and a soft drink, they had a desert while we didnt.

I forget what the bill came to but they insisted on splitting the bill, we just said we'd quarter it, thus we'd be subsidising their desert, but, yanno, who cares its a carvery and we're not on the breadline.

Mother and Aunt spent the 15min journey home settling up between themselves with bits of cash being passed back and forth. In the end they got as close as they could but it was established the Aunt Owed mother 13p, this debt was agreed to be repaid the following day.

A few weeks went by and mother, bitterly and out of the blue remarked that her sister still hadnt paid the 13p. Fast forwards a few months we was all out for a walk and dropped in at a local walkers cafe for a brew and bit of toast/cake. Mother went and bought herself and sister a brew and cake, telling her that's £4, you can give me £4.13 cos you still owe me from the carvery. Sister just accepted this and coughed up....

I cant decide if they are trying too hard to be fair, or are just tight.

Oh I really hoped you'd say they're identical twins and tried to get away with only paying for one carvery. The other twin going back for 'seconds' with the same plate 😂😂

monty2020 · 15/12/2025 06:19

Well a funny one was overheard by me at the pharmacy last week. A man mid 40s asked the pharmacy assistant for a refund as he had bought cough sweets but still had a tickle in his throat 😵‍💫

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 15/12/2025 06:33

cadburyegg · 14/12/2025 22:41

Oh another one, except it was really me just being taken for a fool.

I had a friend who had been jobless for awhile. Her house share arrangement came to an end (she was thrown out basically) and I offered for her to live with me, I thought it would be for 4 months ish max and she ended up staying for 18 months. At first, I didn’t ask her to contribute to anything - even food. I knew she didn’t have a huge amount of money.

I started to wise up when she started to take the piss. We used to do a Tesco shop but I paid for it all. She once went ballistic when my then 8 year old helped himself to “her” cereal. It was identical to the packet we normally get, so my 8 year old had no way of knowing it wasn’t ours.

We used to go out occasionally. I started to notice that she always had a way of getting out of paying for things. Whole meals, cinema tickets, hospital parking, she’d always hang back and suddenly me and other friends realised we’d paid for it all.

We went to the beach once with my kids and I thought she might have offered to buy them an ice cream after all I did for her. Nope…

Shortly before she moved out she let slip that she never declared to the DWP that she’d moved out of her old house share. So she’d been claiming about £800ish a month in benefits for 18 months.

The older I get, the more I know that: no good deed goes unpunished.

Revenge is sweet, @cadburyegg

I’d genuinely be plotting this woman’s downfall.

AquaForce · 15/12/2025 09:04

thecrakenwakes · 09/12/2025 17:38

I used to play in a music group as a hobby (various wind instruments). Every year we had a little party for Christmas and were all asked to contribute something for a buffet. There were 25 of us.
We were asked to sign up on a list with our contributions. I put myself down for a veggie quiche and veggie sossie rolls. I saw one other member had put herself down for "eggs" which puzzled me the first time I saw it.
On the day of the party all was revealed as I saw 4 boiled, shelled eggs in a bowl - that was it !
After spending quite some time baking for this event I was a bit miffed to say the least.
BTW this lady was married to a builder and wasn't short of a bob or two.

PS. She did this every year

When I was at primary school all the mothers contributed something. Mine would only ever send ''open sandwiches'' to save on bread.

Mumofsonanddogs · 15/12/2025 09:04

My nasty narcissistic ex stole my son's birthday money given to pass on by his parents, I found the ripped open card and envelope stuffed in a cupboard
It probably would have had £10 or £20 inside
Very low!!!