Cheapest thing a person has ever done

[Unorganisedchaos2]

Inspired by the children's birthday party thread, Im sure this has been done so many times but humor me as Im stuck at home with a poorly DD...

Our family once knew a couple who were convinced that the baby they were due to have shouldn't cost them any more than the family allowance and a grant I believe you used to get in the early 2000's. Some of the things they did:

• Commented that it had worked out well that the baby was born 2 months prem as they had been able to claim family allowance but he hadn't cost them anything yet as the hospital were providing nappies, milk etc.
• Refused to visit the baby until the hospital had issued a free parking pass then only visited 3 times a week because they were tired and as it was a 30 minute it was already costing a lot in petrol.
• Did a separate food shop for him of all supermarket own brand food and £1 meals, she actually had "his money" in one of those money bags the bank used and made the checkout person run it through as two separate shops.
• Spent hours in charity shops buying up the next few years with of clothes for him, at his second birthday they were asking us to buy clothes for 7-8 year old.
• Asked my mum to register as a childminder so they could claim childcare but expected my mum to do it for free (not honestly sure how that was ever going to work out)
• Not child related but he refused to drive above 50 MPH because he believed it was uneconomical, even if he was late for work or holding up a queue of traffic.

I have never been a bridesmaid thankfully but the people I know who have it really has skinted them with demands for expensive hens, bridal showers (this was a new one on me, we are uk) dress shopping lunches, before and after hotel stays blah blah, so I would be buggered if I was paying out for everyones butties as well!

If I was asked now (unlikely at my age!) I think I would have to be honest and say "no thank you, I cant afford it!"

It does sound like the reaction of someone who was fed up (sorry to the poster.)

But those things weren't "given", they were the necessary items provided for her to be YOUR bridesmaid.

Were the other bridesmaids expected to pay something towards the breakfast too?

When I first read this, I thought it said, you would have killed HER for £5
🤣 🤣

😆

That's terrible! So sorry you were treated like that, and I'm guessing she was a bad parent generally. Though even the jar thing on its own merits going NC!

Shes a narcissist

My father is her enabler and she made me the scapegoat (my nasty brother is the golden child-the sun shines out of his arse,hes also a drug addict-all my fault and id get blamed when he steals from her to feed his habit)

It's very hard to explain unless you've lived it but everything is always my fault

Even if it's nothing to do with me

I've been nc for 15 years (she claims not to understand why but blames it on my 'personality disorder')

This one one of many examples of her being a shit parent and somehow it's all my fault

I could have been left permanently disfigured and it was all my own fault for snatching the jar from her (she handed it to me-why would I pick up a jar full of boiling water for fun?)

Same woman charged me for petrol (and her time) to get me to hospital while in labour (I had very little money)

The next baby I rang for an ambulance and she had a fit that id wasted NHS money (from the woman who goes to the doctors 4-6 times a week for made up illnesses)

This one depends a lot on what income you're on. If you're comfortably off, then £10 seems like small change and not worth quibbling over and "it's just a bit of bread and bacon, what's the big deal?", whereas if you're on minimum wage or close to it, then it's a significant chunk of your weekly budget. A lot of financial disagreements between my own friends have occurred because the ones on good salaries have forgotten what it's like to be on a low salary.

If I were the bridesmaid in this situation, no way would I have asked for the tenner back - but - I would have thought it was strange that the host (the bride) hadn't sorted breakfast stuff out for the day.

Both sides are being a little off, but the bridesmaid loses this round for quibbling with the bride about ten pounds. I'd have left it alone.

I agree. A well-off friend was complaining about people wanting to just pay for what they'd ordered if they were out for a meal with a group. She argued that it was easier to split the bill evenly and that adding someone else's pudding only added a few pence to each person's amount. But one person might have just scraped enough together to go out, chosen something cheap and foregone pudding. Why should that person then have to subsidise someone else's expensive lobster and chocolate ganache tart?

Aaahaha we’ve had the exact same discussion in my friendship group. “But I just think it all evens out in the end, like if Bob pays a bit more than his share this time, he might pay less than his share next time we go out.” Not realising that actually no, if Bob is constantly looking for the cheapest dish on the menu, limiting himself to one or two drinks and skipping dessert, because he can only just afford to come out as it is, while Katrina, Mark and Lucy are all merrily ordering sides and starters and a few glasses of wine each and not looking at the price of their mains, because they don’t have to, then no, it’s never going to even out for Bob, and that extra £5 he wasn’t expecting to pay means he might have to skip lunch tomorrow.

Your mother is clearly a monster, @2dogsandabudgie, but I don’t think her extreme behaviour should be used to dismiss that other poster’s tight relies.

I think part of the problem is that some people have never been short of money, or have forgotten what it was like to be so. I shared a taxi with one friend and offered her half the fare in cash. She turned that down and said she'd settle it with her card so it wouldn't cost anything. I'm sure she knew it wasn't a free ride but in her mind, it might as well have been.

Haha!

Was it when sugar was still rationed? That didn't end until 1953

My husband was aware of it as a teenager so it would have gone beyond that to the late '50s. [ETA There was probably an overlap.]

It's just occurred to me that when I was a student in Russia, they actually did sell teeny single Russian dolls as souvenirs. Our lecturers gifted us one each at the end of the first one month course that I did.

You could also get wee ones that consisted of two dolls. i brought back both types as souvenirs.

Nowadays, you sometimes see the single one used on keyrings.

My ex once bought me a small bunch of roses the day after Valentine’s Day because they were reduced to 99p. If he’d bought them before or on the day, they were £3 more and apparently that’s completely unacceptable!
He was always so romantic 🙄

I can't stand Russian dolls - they're always just so full of themselves.

Love it 😂

She sounds terrible, and actually incapable of love. Boggles my brain that anyone could treat their own offspring like that.

She loves and hates herself in equal measures

It's all a mask and everyone falls for it-it's fascinating to watch

I know what's behind that mask (and she knows it)

It's darkness,evil,hate and nothing

If someone tells you that they are nc with a parent,it's for a reason and that person isnt to blame no matter how charming the parent comes across

I think I have a good one: when I got married, a dear friend sent me a cheque, which bounced. Does that count?

Do you know, I didn't tell her at the time as I was afraid she might be angry with me - I still cannot believe WTF was wrong with my self-esteem in my 20s, goodness those were the days (not.)

The funny thing was, she admits she's cheap and I remember being surprised the sum was for an unusually large amount. Should have been a clue!

We are actually still friends - I did tell her eventually and IIRC she made it seem like: Ooh I forgot my bank account from [that country] was closed.

She is super generous in other ways, just a weird blind spot with cash.

LOL !

Don't banks still charge you for bouncing a cheque? It used to be something like £20 or £25 if you issued a cheque with insufficient funds.

She'd really rather give money to her bank rather than give it to you?!