Cheapest thing a person has ever done

[Unorganisedchaos2]

Inspired by the children's birthday party thread, Im sure this has been done so many times but humor me as Im stuck at home with a poorly DD...

Our family once knew a couple who were convinced that the baby they were due to have shouldn't cost them any more than the family allowance and a grant I believe you used to get in the early 2000's. Some of the things they did:

• Commented that it had worked out well that the baby was born 2 months prem as they had been able to claim family allowance but he hadn't cost them anything yet as the hospital were providing nappies, milk etc.
• Refused to visit the baby until the hospital had issued a free parking pass then only visited 3 times a week because they were tired and as it was a 30 minute it was already costing a lot in petrol.
• Did a separate food shop for him of all supermarket own brand food and £1 meals, she actually had "his money" in one of those money bags the bank used and made the checkout person run it through as two separate shops.
• Spent hours in charity shops buying up the next few years with of clothes for him, at his second birthday they were asking us to buy clothes for 7-8 year old.
• Asked my mum to register as a childminder so they could claim childcare but expected my mum to do it for free (not honestly sure how that was ever going to work out)
• Not child related but he refused to drive above 50 MPH because he believed it was uneconomical, even if he was late for work or holding up a queue of traffic.

I think he was just used to them being that way. I later found out he didn't have friends over, etc when he was growing up. But I was still hurt he didn't stick up for me on the day. My Mum would never have behaved like his but if she did I would have said "where's boyfriend's place?!"
And it was a roast - not like it was four individual tarts she'd baked or something 😂

My mum used to host an Xmas party for around 50 guests every year for about 30 years.
I helped with cooking, shopping and hosting and it was a a good solid few days work for us both. And cost hundreds of pounds.

All fine. But out of those guests, only maybe four had ever invited us to theirs for an Xmas do, or any party. And they were all her nephew's or v close family.

Edit- so sorry I didn't mean this as a reply to you, just a regular post, but can't get rid of it now!

May your ex-rot in hell. I am so very sorry to read this.

Poor you. Even if there were four portions of unseperable food and the guest was unexpected, the host would have served the other four and pretended they had eaten earlier or didn't have an appetite/felt unwell.

Its easy enough to peel a few extra spud and veg, and slice the meat a bit thinner. I couldn't live with myself if I left someone sat alone while everyone else was eating

Couldn't agree more. Inconceivable and unacceptable. What would be the point in allowing the invitation or not telling the guest to arrive after lunch if the hosts loved money more than providing hospitality?

Yes I felt this way too - if his Mum really didn't want to host me she could have used the excuse of "I'd rather just have my kids home for lunch as it's Mother's Day" - still a bit odd of course but plausible.
It was awful how I sat there through multiple courses with my stomach rumbling 😅and I was a student - I was looking forward to a home cooked lunch!

I knew this woman (a friend of a friend) when we both ended up living in the same foreign country. Thankfully we lived 200 miles apart but she somehow got my phone number and started calling me when she was bored. She was very wealthy, her dh owned a successful company, she worked a flexible professional job and they lived in a 6 bed, waterfront property with a nanny. But she was obsessed with money - used to buy the cheapest food for the kids (usually the Euroshopper brand). Once she called to say she was cross with the nanny as she'd instructed the nanny to potty train the 12 month old because she wasn't "wasting money" on nappies anymore ... but it was taking too long..... while at the same time boasting about the skiing chalet they'd just bought (that they rarely went to because it was "expensive" to go there)....

But the saddest story was when I asked about Christmas plans during one call. "Oh - dh and the kids are going to the ILs. But I'm going to X (place 500 miles away) as I was offered a contract to work Christmas week and I would not enjoy being with the kids thinking about the fact I could be making money."

I heard they got divorced and she left the country.

At uni, a housemate's boyfriend moved into our shared house, rent-free. He used all the amenities and paid nothing. He complained that I washed my clothes too frequently (you know, after two or three wears, or one wear for knickers) and it was unfair for his girlfriend to pay the same bill for electricity and water (they barely ever washed clothes or linen and stank). He also charged me £2 to drive me to uni when he was already going there in the car anyway, and I would have happily walked if he hadn't insisted on giving me a lift. He then told me that if I was ever planning on getting a taxi somewhere (which I occasionally did because I worked late at a pub job) I should call him instead because he'd charge me 'about half what a taxi would'. Errr. No thanks mate. Twenty odd years ago and I still can't believe it. Apparently, they ended up living in a tent in the New Forest until their wealthy parents bought them a posh house.

My daughter was dressed in some of my baby/childhood clothes and we used terry nappies left from my babyhood for various things (not nappies though - not waterproof enough). Why throw away when they are still good? Lots of clothes wore out or were passed on, but it is lovely to see my daughter in a jumper my Nan knitted for me, or a party dress I loved as a toddler.

Exactly. I'd crumble with shame before I dared to swipe food from someone else's house or sent a generous friend a bill for some piddling expense.

I have mortifying memories of my mum pulling grabby stunts when I was a child. She didn't care what people thought of her - she'd pester and prod and push her luck - as long as she left the scene with some free stuff in hand. I thank god that it never rubbed off on me.

For some people, they care so little about their own dignity and sense of self that they'll trash it in an instant for one pissy little 'win'.

My aunt is the cheapest tightest person we know. She’s my mams sister and one of ten siblings and the only one of them to act that way. According to my mam she’s been like this all her life but has definitely gotten worse with age. Her daughter, my cousin is the most generous person you’d meet and is endlessly embarrassed by her. Some eg over the years

• Came to a family party with a half open bag of tortilla chips and some out of date biscuits

• At any function she literally fills her boots. At my brothers wedding she brought her handbag to the sweet cart and filled it to the brim. Also grabbed a pile of the pairs of flip flops that the bride had bought for the female guests as well as some of the toiletries that had been left in the bathrooms for the guests to use. My mam joked she must have been making trips back to her room to empty her bag

• At any dinner we have out she’ll run and pay her portion of the bill separately from the table and doesn’t believe in tipping. She’ll often “forget” that she’s had tea/coffee/soft drink/alcohol so her share is always short

• She, my mam and some of their sisters went on a city break a few years ago. Another aunt bought some drinks when they got back to the hotel after a day of sightseeing. To add stingy aunt never buys a round but will never refuse a drink from someone else. On the way back from the bar, the round buying aunt dropped 50 cent and couldn’t see it. No harm. Next morning stingy aunt tried to get out of bed at 5am before the “cleaners got a chance to clean”, to go to the bar to hunt for the missing 50 cent. My mam told her to cop on and she’d give her the 50c she was disturbing the whole room. She asked for it later that day

• For my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, my mam and her siblings decided to pool together to buy them something substantial, if I remember rightly it was approx €500 each and they all agreed except my aunt. She decided it was too much and arrived to their party with a photo frame and vase from the pound shop.

Numerous other eg over the years and she’s actually financially comfortable but just despises spending money on anything or anyone

But did your mum host the parties expecting to be asked back in return? I doubt it. It sounds like she enjoyed being a host but not everyone does. Should people who didn't want to host a party turn down your mum's invitation? I doubt if she would have liked that either.

Well, to be fair. I wouldn't agree to contributing €500 towards anyone's present!

It was their parents significant anniversary gift so not a regular occurrence. It was a discussion between all the siblings and they decided on the amount because they actually planned to renovate their bathroom for them which hasn’t been updated since the 70s.

Fair enough my aunt didn’t want to contribute that amount BUT a vase and picture frame from Poundland was a bloody insult. She spent less than a fiver on her parents.

A flatmate I thought was a friend moved her boyfriend into our two girl rental flat. They both earned way more than me but he didn’t contribute a penny to rent or bills. He once made a shepherds pie and made a huge fuss about it like that made up for everything 🙄. Also they used to snog and grope each other in our sitting room so I felt really uncomfortable and would go out a lot. Didn’t really think about it at the time but urgh fuck them for screwing me over.

What a terrible husband. Im so sorry for your loss, and bless your lovely dad.

What an awful horrid thing to do.

@Pollyputthekettleonyourhead be even more specific and state number of bottles then no come back if they bring only 2 bottles when you’d said 4 bottles x

@Worriedaboutrapecourts
I positive that your father a) wanted to do this for his grandchild and b) knew that money would have been the last thing on your mind at such a traumatic time.
I honestly don’t think he’d have given it a second thought. Your relationship with him is what is important; not money x

My MIL charged me £1.47 for a tub of sudocreme that she bought my DD whilst babysitting. I was gobsmacked.

BIL turned up to Christmas lunch at ours with two cans of lager, one he had opened in the car. That was his donation. We were hosting for PIL and BIL, his wife and child. He then made his way through my DH (his brothers) Xmas beers. They weren’t invited for Xmas after that.

My old boss and her husband took a leg of lamb with them on holiday skiing to feed the family for the week. They also took test tube shots to save on alcohol. They were in the kids hand luggage and got confiscated at the airport 😆

Wraps are totally different thank goodness! No elastic, soft edges, designed to be fitted as needed by adjustable velcro, so much better than the plastic pants of before! I too had some interesting use of them by nursery, in the end I printed off an instruction sheet after several bad leaks.

Omg tonic that lunch one is monstrous! I hope those nut jobs didn’t end up as your in laws. Where were their manners?! Raised by wolves themselves clearly.

Someone I knew (who lived with her v wealthy parents as an adult and had a massive allowance) once took me out for lunch on my birthday, and used the opportunity to try and sell me a dress she'd had made. Out of awkwardness I finally agreed to try it on, but of course it didn't fit, was terribly made, and I said no. Next time I saw her, she publicly reminded me "oh, you still owe me for that lunch I paid for". I was mortified and immediately gave her the amount she asked for. Only later did I realise she'd charged me for both our lunches!!! It was a cheap, set meal thing, but the CF'ery was outrageous!!