Thoughts on working parents caring whilst wfh

[Tiggermad]

What are your thoughts on staff members caring for their toddlers/children whilst wfh.
I have a number in my team and I have noticed one of them in particular outputs drop considerably on wfh days.
There have been a few occasions where I’ve held meetings and they’ve had said toddlers sitting on their laps and it’s been hard to hold a decent conversation.
Unfortunately where I work there is no policy in place to prevent this.
I have raised performance issues with the one main one and she shouted at me that I didn’t understand how hard it is caring for a toddler whilst wfh !
I intend to start performance management if this continues however interested to see if any Managers experience similar.

As a parent of a young child I resent it when other parents do this (on a regular basis - I don't mean as a one off for illness etc). I'm paying for childcare when I'd rather a) not pay and b) have my child at home with me, but I do it for precisely these reasons - I know I can't be productive with her around.

It's absolutely disgusting and it's neglect of a child's needs. It is a human being we're talking about and not a dog. No wonder kids are starting at school so behind in their development if parents think it's acceptable to do this for whole days. Yes, it happened during lockdown, but that was desperate times. We are not in lockdown anymore and children deserve better.

That is purely from the child welfare point of view.

From the employer's point of view, it's absolutely taking the piss.

It’s unacceptable for people not to have childcare in place. The only time I work with my 3 year old is if he’s ill and can’t go to nursery and me doing what I can around him is better than doing nothing. Given I put the tv on for him or do emails at the table while he’s eating it’s so unfair on the child if this is more than a one off as they haven’t got your attention and they need proper stimulation for development. It’s impossible to parent properly and work effectively- you can only do one at a time.

Every wfh policy I’ve seen or in places I’ve worked says that staff should not be primary carers for young children whilst wfh. Emergencies excepted. I’m client facing so could never have had my kids there when they were young enough to need childcare and I wfh - they were in childcare. WFH just meant I could get them earlier as I had no commute

My work is based on outputs. So I do school runs and have dc around from 3.45 every day. But I always work before the school run and late into the evening and weekends to make up for it.

You can't work and care for young children at the same time, your work need a policy.

Yup totally unacceptable. For the child and the employer.
Its an absolute piss take. I assume the child was born after wfh became a thing. It would never have occurred to me to do this!
Work is work. Childcare should be arranged for your work times..without exception. I wouldn't have even nipped out to do a school run.
Honestly people think employers owe them the world on a stick. Employers pay you to work. So work! If my DC were sick I took unpaid leave.

I get really frustrated by this, as it’s people like this that ruin it for those of us not abusing the system! I’m not a manager, but wfh pretty much full time, and have always had full time childcare (bar one afternoon a week where I pick eldest up from school instead of using wrap around, and I make this up in the evening). Youngest is in nursery 5 days a week.

I trialled having family at home doing the childcare a couple of days a week to save on nursery costs and that didn’t work. It was just too distracting and disruptive to get properly focus. I don’t understand how anyone manages with no childcare.

The benefits of WFH are to be able to do drop off/pick up and save on commuting time. NOT to do a poor job at both working and parenting to save a few quid. Of course it’s different when one of the kids are sick, and I’ll gladly support the team when they have these challenges too, but those situations are few and far between.

It’s a no no at our work we have a policy on it. If a child is sick and under the age where they can’t be left unsupervised you shouldn’t be working you should be caring for your child we give a discretionary amount of paid leave for this purpose. That said, school pick ups/drop offs on your working from home days no one really manages it as it’s impossible to police.

Absolutely not.

My 8 year old is in after school club for this reason. I am neither a good mother nor a good employee if I try to do both at once.

It happens very occasionally that she is sick, in that case she watches way too much tv whilst I work from the kitchen table.

I do get lucky that she goes to a brilliant after school club that also covers almost all inset days and school holidays.

If you are working, you are working. Should be no difference whether at home or not - still need suitable child care. Flexibility to do school run is fine - but you can’t focus on work and a child at the same time. Agree with other posters that this type of thing will put employers off wfh if they can’t rely on employees being productive.

I think unless unplanned like a sickness then it shouldn’t be allowed.

I’ve always paid for childminder/nursery/holiday clubs as I'm being paid to work, not look after
my child. Would be great not to pay all those costs but it’s not fair on the employer or the child to combine the two.

I left my last team because, of the 6 of us, two of the others did this with their kids when wfh (4 working days out of 5) and my manager told me it was none of my business when I brought it up, despite me giving her the stats to show that I was carrying these two. So good for you for doing something about it. I’m surprised that your team aren’t kicking off as they likely feel as aggrieved as I did.

I have no issue with it at all as long as the work gets done.

I have one team member who I poached from somewhere else knowing that she was struggling as she couldn’t afford childcare.

I told her the role, my expectations of her output and also that when, where and how she gets her work done is her business.
But at the end of the day, as long as her work was done, it didn’t bother me as an employer at all if her baby/toddler was home with her. It also didn’t bother me if she worked less during the day and caught up in the evenings once her child was in bed.

I know she has found it tough without childcare and is very relieved that she now has free nursery hours.

You don’t need a policy to take action. You don’t need policies to cover ever eventuality. Some terms of employment are implied eg you don’t need a policy that states you can’t stand on your desk and strip off in front of your colleagues, but it is implied that this wouldn’t be acceptable.

There is no way anyone can fully commit to work whilst also caring for a very young child. I would actually say it is a conduct issue not performance. Performance is can’t do something. Conduct is won’t do something.

You need to have a firm discussion and explain that when they are at work they are there to work and not look after their children. They need to sort childcare and any recurrence would result in disciplinary action

Totally not acceptable. This is one of the reasons reform are banging on about ending home working. Home working when done properly can be so beneficial. People like your colleagues are making it harder for managers to trust home workers

My dc are older now and I found that when dd1 was about 10 I could work with her at home if she was ill, but not so ill she needed me constantly with her, jusy lying on the sofa watchung tv. Might do for an hour in the morning in the holidays on days when they go round to grandparents. But that has been it.

Wfh with a toddler? No. Did that during covid and it is impossible, I was neither parenting or working. I think you need to approach your senior managers for a steer on this as even if you go down a PIP route this time the same might come up again.

If it works is the best of all worlds isn't it.
No shit nursery with massive fees and yet poorly paid teens looking after your child.
More money for the parents and the child is worth the person who loves them most at home.

With what I do in the office I would have been able to just about do both with a good set up of activities next or near by ,pre set up snacks and so on .

In many counties women are doing manual labour with sc strapped to their backs

I'm sure your right re policy OP, but I'm public sector and we have a no caring for children WFH policy - I don't understand how that isn't uniform across the board?!

So I would mention the drop and ask they manage it better. ..

Not reasonable to care for a child under about age 7 while WFH.

Caring for a child 7+ could be ok depending on the child & how often & how long for. For example caring for an 8 year old from school finish at 3.30 to 5pm might not be a huge issue.

My husband works from home half the week. He once asked to swap days to work from home to look after our 10 year old who had a cold. Didn’t really need much looking after just to have someone in the house. He was told no because you can’t care for someone and work at the same time.

Is this really allowed at workplaces? No way could you work effectively with a toddler at home. School runs are a different thing altogether

This exactly. It’s unfair on the employer, the child and the employee.

If someone is being paid to work from say 9-5 then they should be fully focused and 100% available during that time. If the child was 9 or 10 and had no mental health, disabilities, behavioural issues then the odd hour once in awhile is ok. But otherwise no. I say this as someone with no family support who had two children close together and had to pay out a fortune in childcare (after school club, breakfast club and holiday club) while I worked part time).

I wouldn’t allow it. A man in my team gave his work phone to his toddler to play with and I got repeated calls from said child which I had to raise with him.
Occasionally he does the school run but he does make the hours up which I don’t mind so much

Thank you for your responses I appreciate them and echo how i feel in hovering this is and I intend to sort this asap.