Lighthearted- ‘You’re not British if… ‘

[ymemanresu]

Looking for giggles this morning sitting here listening to this horrendous rain. You’re not British if you don’t love talking about the weather ( usually the first topic of conversation 🤣)

If you have good teeth.

Fish and chip shops do them here. I love them.

If you don’t mutter under your breath “You’re welcome” when you hold a door open/let someone pass and they don’t thank you

If you don't somewhat smile when you see the Red Arrows flying overhead

or - perhaps even more British - DH DS and I were staying somewhere where they were due to. It wasn't a big Buckingham Palace type thing but it was on the BBC News app. We went to stand on a pavement to see them and lots of local people were there. Anyway , owing to bad weather / fog / cloud etc it was cancelled late on because it wasn't safe for the Red Arrows to fly. All the assembled people saw this and there was a general air of disappointment until right on time some Canada Geese flew over in a perfect V formation to the applause of the crowd. I think that's British - not what we were hoping for but it's funny and we're happy.

Maybe just me 😊

You’re not British if you don’t understand that the more you take the mick out of someone the more you like them. ‘See that absolute cock knocker over there? That’s my best mate’

Also nick names that last a life time, that one time in school or work you did or said something becomes your moniker. You once ate additional food at lunch time? Hello ‘two lunches’.

It's not even chocolate. It's chocolate flavoured :-)

You’re not British if you say, like my American colleagues ‘I love your British accent’ 🙄🤣

Your husband should be jailed for this atrocity 😆

If you try to get on the tube before everyone who needs to has got off.

Love him 😆

Another way of looking at this is that queueing is treated as a performance, in that rather than just clocking who was here when you joined the gathering so you know ‘where you are in the queue’ you have to actually line up like toddlers in the playground.

See it often in tourist areas across mainland Europe , when the bus finally arrives people emerge from all over who understand where they are in the queue while the British tourists think that because they stood in a particular place, they are ahead of the others.

quaint.

Errm, I think the jellied eels are eaten separately — you don’t have them with the pie, mash etc.
However, the hot eels in the green parsley sauce (liquor) must definitely be eaten with mash and lots of chilli vinegar.
The fish van was around here this morning and DH has bought me some jellied eels for lunch. We have skate for dinner this evening.
Full disclosure, I was born in Hackney and hence am a true cockney. But I left the UK as a baby and have never actually lived in that part of London. Still a cockney, thus authoritative on all things cockney. Perhaps I should do an AMA.😀

And ‘arse’, ass!

I’ll just leave this here.

No; the first poster was right. See my table.

You're not if you don't love a steam engine. My friend and I recently took a trip on a special train pulled by a steam engine and thousands turned out to see it go by.

Erm, I've never had that although I've seen it for real and declined. Does that count!

Or if you don't thank the automatic doors.

Many years ago the 'automatic' doors in our local Morrisons were actually operated by a man who sat in a booth to the side and he opened them when needed. Sad day when he was no longer needed although I hope they found him another job in the shop.

DP made me think today that he is not, in fact, British at all: he was looking in a shop window and an old lady stood very close behind him, knocked into him, wobbled and nearly fell over. He turned around and steadied her but didn’t apologise. It was very odd.

You don't feel awkward saying hello to some twice