Lighthearted- ‘You’re not British if… ‘

[ymemanresu]

Looking for giggles this morning sitting here listening to this horrendous rain. You’re not British if you don’t love talking about the weather ( usually the first topic of conversation 🤣)

If you see someone you know from a distance, you don't turn around and walk the other way

Or if you think it’s OK to spell arse as ass.

You accept an invitation to a social gathering, then don’t hope they cancel because you can’t be arsed.
Youre not disproportionately enthused when someone offers you mediocre biscuits.

You aren’t British if you don’t use the words ‘absolute fucking nightmare’ to describe a moderately tricky journey.

You're not properly British if you say
My bad
Instead of my mistake.
Bad is an adjective and needs a noun. It cannot by left hanging like that unattached.
I'm assuming it's a Americanism.
Another one which sounds faintly European is saying
Cynthia can go with.
Full stop.
Instead of go with you or them...
But beyond all these of course is
Not knowing how to make a proper cup of tea.
Also not wiping one's feet on entering a building.
Which is an abomination.

— have several different types of coats to get you through the winter. The light shower fold up one, the waterproof one, the quite cold weather one and the very cold duvet weather one.

You are eating a cream tea and you don’t question the person with you, as to the order they apply the jam
and cream.

I'm in Italy with my brother at the moment, he lives here, but he still sits and watches the weather forecast for Italy and the UK several times a day 🤣

You're not British if you dont sigh after a good swig of tea (as per a recent MN thread).

If you don't automatically join a queue when you see one before you even know what it's for.

If you don't understand that Interesting is not really interesting. Move on

This is how I find out I'm not British??

Nooe..i am British and have never heard of Bill's mother.

If you don't say "thank you" to automatic doors

English or British?

If you answer, 'how are you?' honestly...

I'd counter that this is even more specific to London, or even East London. I'm half English, half Welsh and have never had Pie, mash and liquor.

I'd imagine most folk haven't had pease pudding or a saveloy unless they lived in NE England, or Bara Brith unless they are Welsh.

@RainbowZebraWarrior, totally agree, those dishes as you say are more specific to certain parts of old England.

Born and bred in SE London, black British,
I never had pie, mash, liquor, jellied eels, just didn’t fancy it, but loved and still do cockles, which as a child, were bought from the little kiosk outside pubs.

The very old pie, mash and liquor shop on Tower Bridge Road, Bermondsey is still open.

Now as for a saveloy, that used to be my
favourite!

I agree that pie and mash with jellied eels (I eat most things but they sound revolting) and liquor, which I assume is not whisky but I have no idea what it actually is, is very regional and as far as I know unheard of outside London.

It's like me saying you're not British if you don't have (hot pork) pie and peas on bonfire night. Because every time it's mentioned on here, it seems a small minority who do and most people are rather perplexed at the concept.

Fish and chips shops in Dorset have always done saveloys.

You don’t like a cup of tea 😩

Oh my gosh I witnessed this for the first time in London last week. It wasn’t even a queue! It was a few random people standing in a queueish way looking at the departure boards at Gatwick train station, and people were genuinely joining the end!! (Although given it was at Gatwick maybe they were non-Brits just trying to blend in)

Definitely regional. I mentioned making some Parkin for bonfire night at work last week because tradition, and my British but non-Yorkshire colleagues had never heard of it.

. . . You don’t get excited about a buttered scone with your tea.

I say ‘please’ to Alexa.

You don’t smile, point out the window and shout ‘cows!’ If you pass cows whilst in the car travelling.