Have you ever liked someone then discovered something shocking about their past?

[Dappy777]

I like to think I'm a good judge of character, but I've been proved wrong so many times that I no longer trust myself.

For example, there was an elderly guy who lived on our estate with his wife. He was a lovely old school Londoner, very gentlemanly and polite. I later learned that he'd been a violent criminal in his youth and had spent 12 years in prison for robbing banks and security vans! (Still couldn't help liking him.)

A lifeguard I worked with when he was early 20’s and I was a teen cadet.

Always gave us younger cadets the time of day, advice, taught us new things. Not in a creepy way.

Murdered and tortured someone not long after the summer season in a crime so heinous there was a media blackout on some details.

So learned that lesson at 15.

What an elderly man did in his youth doesn't determine his character now so I don't think that example shows you have any problems with your judgement of character.

It's chilling to think about these people carrying on with life as if nothing happened. Unsuspecting partners and families shattered when this comes to light. I don't think I'd be able to trust anyone again after that.

I went out once with my parents, him and his wife for Sunday lunch. Seemed like a normal bloke. Nothing that would make me think he was capable of that.

Do you think they used the COVID tests to populate the database?

I saw that too @Dappy777 Utterly horrible cases and so satisfying to see those creeps nabbed when they thought they'd got away with it. The more cold cases are reviewed, the more of them will be caught.

Worked with a lad for a few years. Seemed harmless, bit of a geek tbh. He murdered his girlfriend, hid her for a couple of days and then did a runner when the police came. Claimed it was sex gone wrong - which it may have been but his actions afterwards, omg! The papers were all reporting as though he was some kind of stud. He really wasn't. Most shocking thing to me! His gf worked there too.

I watch a lot of true crime documentaries (DH thinks Im storing up ideas of how to do away with him 🤣) the most fascinating ones are those that revisit unsolved crimes and catch the perpetrator, often after decades.
Its sad when family members go to their graves never knowing the truth x

Sorry should say his wife (they were gf and bf though when I knew them) I think he's still behind bars, he got life.

Intrigued to know if this is same woman I knew! Was it in north London?

A man I used to work with was the nicest person you could imagine, good company, always bought the first round in the pub on a Friday after work, very easy to get on with….you get the picture. He shot his teenage son with a sawn-off shotgun, followed by his wife and then himself. His daughter only escaped as she was out of the house at the time. Turns out he’d been a violent domestic abuser in private for years - it was really hard to reconcile the two sides of his personality.

I dont think it is that.

I think there is a missing space after "he'd" and if you replaced the O with the next consanant on the keyboard its horrifyingly clear.

These always really scare me, especially the pedo ones. How are we supposed to know :(
Looking back is there anything? Ive never known any which scares me as I must.

I cant work it out, the drowned
pne

I assumed it was 'raped his own family'.

Not me but someone close to me discovered her much loved uncle had put his children into a home (where they had an awful time) after his divorce, and her adored grandmother had also treated the children unkindly. She discovered this about 60 years after the event, long after both were dead, but it really shook her.

@AquaForce Probably not. We just reported if we were +ve, then threw the test kits away. No need to create a conspiracy theory.

People that appear to be friendly and kind I don't mistrust. Lots of people are genuinely kind and friendly.

I have however started to distrust people that flatter me and are overly agreeable. The chances that everything I do, say, wear or own is amazing and that they share my opinions about every topic are small.

Therefore they are either desperate to be liked or they are trying to manipulate me for some other reason. Either way I am not seeing their real personality. Perhaps the person underneath is ok, perhaps not.

Interestingly Chatgpt has been programmed to behave in this way!

How else have they got 60 million in a database then? Did you get a special invite to give DNA?? I didn't.

It's not a theory - they have 60 million ClearSkin do tell us in you're infinite wisdom how else that's possible??

The original kits were posted for testing

Just think how many men left DNA evidence at a rape scene 10 or 20 years ago and are haunted by the fear of a DNA match leading to their arrest. Especially men who did something in their teens and then never re-offended. You know, men who have never been to prison and are not known to the police - who have married, had kids, pursued a career and lived soft and comfortable lives. Prison in their 50s or 60s would be horrific. They must live in constant dread.

I bet every one of us knows an older man who committed some kind of sexual assault in his younger days and was never caught.

I totally distrust people who are too nice

Like Christians nicking sugar from work

As if the Covid consipracies werent bad enough without this too!

From AI

The UK's National DNA Database (NDNAD) was put together starting in 1995,
following the discovery of DNA fingerprinting in the mid-1980s and a recommendation for a national database in 1993. The Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994 reclassified saliva as a non-intimate sample, enabling its collection, and gave the police powers to search the database speculatively. Subsequent legislation and funding, such as the DNA Expansion Programme, dramatically expanded the database by increasing the number of people from whom samples could be taken and by changing laws on when samples could be retained, even after an acquittal.

No.

Weirdly the "past" happened whilst I knew them.

Group of new recruits, like the one woman more than the men. Gradually become closer to one of the men and dislike the woman as quite brash and insensitive.

I was knee-deep in a project so mainly stayed away from them though, and missed an annual event that all the newbies went to. If there was a weird atmosphere in the office the day after I don't remember it.

A few years and a lot of additions to her record for poor performance, attitude and behaviour, I'm sick to death of her. Talk about her performance with her manager as she's affecting the whole team.

A few days later, there's a serious and substantiated claim of racism against the woman.

It's only then I find out the full story of the event. She got super drunk on work time and racially abused a black staff member at the event. What's more, the management at the time forgave her this, and kept her on even though it was her probation period!

I fired her.

It didn't just change my perception of her, it was the nail in the coffin for my perception of the other managers.

(Funnily enough another guy in her cohort was the only person they EVER failed the probation for - and he was pleasant and mild-mannered, and curious about the job!)

I had a couple of dates which turned into friendship with someone who then turned up unannounced at my home which freaked me out - what made it even worse was him disclosing he had actually beat his mother to death as a teenager and was living under a new identity