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Have you ever liked someone then discovered something shocking about their past?

84 replies

Dappy777 · 06/11/2025 17:35

I like to think I'm a good judge of character, but I've been proved wrong so many times that I no longer trust myself.

For example, there was an elderly guy who lived on our estate with his wife. He was a lovely old school Londoner, very gentlemanly and polite. I later learned that he'd been a violent criminal in his youth and had spent 12 years in prison for robbing banks and security vans! (Still couldn't help liking him.)

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 06/11/2025 19:03

My Uncle, big cuddly bear of a man, always a big hug for you whereas my Aunt was always a bit sour. Learnt many years later she was sour because he was a terrible womanizer, always chasing after other women. Sorry Aunt, I misjudged you both

barskits · 06/11/2025 19:08

Yes, and fairly recently. Someone I thought I knew quite well. He fooled a lot of us. His past eventually caught up with him when his victim, now an adult, finally (and courageously) came forward and told the police what he did to her when she was a little girl.

Bastard got sent to prison. I hope he rots.

SirChenjins · 06/11/2025 19:10

An elderly aunt of DH who was lovely and quite the character. Turns out she had a child out of wedlock way back when, and he was in a children's home where she would visit him. She met a man that she went onto marry and simply stopped visiting her son - he was understandably traumatised. Many years later he tracked down her children from her second marriage who knew nothing about ihim.

I worked in the tourist office in a city many years ago. One of our local guest house owners that I met on several occasions and seemed lovely was later charged with Nazi war crimes - he was a guard at one of the camps.

taxguru · 06/11/2025 19:18

I once worked (aged 18) in a local family owned hotel for a few weeks one Summer after leaving college. Owners were really nice and friendly. They had a couple of their adult children (20 somethings) who also worked in the hotel. The lad was really nice (!) and I fancied him like mad - well dressed, well spoken, always friendly - no sign at all of anything untoward. Anyway, I got another job offer and left at short notice, and I was a little put out that he didn't contact me once I'd left to ask me out as we'd flirted quite a bit, but he was very respectful whilst I worked there - no red flags at all but I was too shy to ask him out.

Anyway, got busy with the new job and then I started going out with someone else and completely forgot about him.

A few years later, he was plastered all over the local newspaper, having been imprisoned for child porn and under-age sex with a couple of school girls around the time I worked with him!!

I'd never in a million years have thought it of him.

Overthemhills · 06/11/2025 19:20

@SirChenjins
bloody hell! Mine pales in comparison to the nazi.
I will keep it brief in case it gets me “outed” - but my DD’s paediatric consultant from about 7 years ago.
The nicest guy as a children’s doctor you could imagine- proactive, funny, helpful and gave lots of time (DD is profoundly disabled).
Assaulted me (not rape) in a sexual manner with DD present when DH wasn’t there.
He did other things too but that’s the highlight.
He told numerous of his colleagues when I officially complained and they ganged together and mocked me - openly and (they didn’t know I’d find out) privately.
I took him to court - (civil) - didn’t win but came close.
If you’d asked me if he was likely to be someone who would do that before it happened, I’d have said never in a million billion years (he was fairly obviously likely to be gay (and in fact is)).
I will probably never fully get over the shock - or the expense (!) of trying to deal with him.

Overthemhills · 06/11/2025 19:22

Actually sorry OP - I’ve just realised you specifically asked about the person’s past - not what they did to you! Sorry!! My bad, as they say

SirChenjins · 06/11/2025 19:28

Just realised that I said second marriage in my last post - that should have been later marriage. She hadn't been married before.

Oh @Overthemhills , that's awful 😢 I have no words. I'm so sorry that you went through that.

DancingInTheMoonlights · 06/11/2025 19:28

One of my best male friends was arrested and convicted of paedophilia. No one had a single clue. Was absolutely devastating to find out. It really damaged our whole friendship group and we all stopped hanging out properly after that. Everything became fractured. Still struggle to get my head around it all these years later.

TheLivelyRose · 06/11/2025 19:29

Dappy777 · 06/11/2025 17:35

I like to think I'm a good judge of character, but I've been proved wrong so many times that I no longer trust myself.

For example, there was an elderly guy who lived on our estate with his wife. He was a lovely old school Londoner, very gentlemanly and polite. I later learned that he'd been a violent criminal in his youth and had spent 12 years in prison for robbing banks and security vans! (Still couldn't help liking him.)

He was elderly, so clearly he did that in his youth and the whole point of prison is hopefully to reform somebody.

Maybe he had turned his life around. You say he did this in his youth.So perhaps he grew up and became a decent person.

blankcanvas3 · 06/11/2025 19:31

My Uncle (always very lovely, kind and sweet to me, treated me like one of his own) was in the IRA! He got a life sentence and was released under the Good Friday Agreement. Tbf I had always wondered why he suddenly appeared after many years of not being in my life

Pedallleur · 06/11/2025 19:35

Someone I worked with. Vanished one day, no one knew where and why. Months later he was sentenced to years for grooming a teenage girl. He was a father and grandfather but we know that doesn't mean anything.

Shegotanology · 06/11/2025 19:35

Two teachers, one in junior, one in comprehensive, both convicted of pedophilia years after I left school. Would never have guessed.

Tinatubby73 · 06/11/2025 19:48

My ex was always very supportive when I was going through a bad time. Hi is new wife called me to say he'draoed his own family.

blackheartsgirl · 06/11/2025 19:51

My year 3 male teacher was convicted 10’years ago of possessing indecent images of young boys.

He was a very good teacher and gave me a lifelong love of reading fantasy novels and Lord of the Rings.

I was pretty shocked although my mum admitted that she never liked him and felt something was off about him 🤷‍♀️

FullOfMomsense · 06/11/2025 19:52

Someone we employed, very dedicated, hard working and educated. Lovely to colleagues, proactive and just a nice person. Wife and 2 children, normal nice car, lived in a nice area but nothing surprising considering his salary. He left suddenly, dropped off the face of the earth and we found out he'd embezzled from his previous 2 workplaces and had been found out. Thankfully nothing happened in our business despite his role probably making it possible! He still hasn't been found AFAIK

tinyspiny · 06/11/2025 19:55

barskits · 06/11/2025 19:08

Yes, and fairly recently. Someone I thought I knew quite well. He fooled a lot of us. His past eventually caught up with him when his victim, now an adult, finally (and courageously) came forward and told the police what he did to her when she was a little girl.

Bastard got sent to prison. I hope he rots.

I wonder if we know the same person ?

Tdcp · 06/11/2025 20:02

Dappy777 · 06/11/2025 17:35

I like to think I'm a good judge of character, but I've been proved wrong so many times that I no longer trust myself.

For example, there was an elderly guy who lived on our estate with his wife. He was a lovely old school Londoner, very gentlemanly and polite. I later learned that he'd been a violent criminal in his youth and had spent 12 years in prison for robbing banks and security vans! (Still couldn't help liking him.)

I used to talk to a blind elderly bloke a lot. I liked him and I liked his dog. He was friendly with a lot of people in the street and a lot of kids seemed to like him as well as he let them pet the dog etc. I started to go on some walks with him as he seemed lonely and then a neighbour told me to look into him. Turns out he was imprisoned for the rape of several young boys in the 70s and 80s. My brain struggled to put the man I was friendly with and that horrendous paedophile together for a while.

CalmShaker · 06/11/2025 20:17

Rolf harris really surprised me, especially as he painted the queen

A few years earlier I actually bought some original art works of his and hung them on my wall, I chucked them on the bonfire in the end

phantomofthepopera · 06/11/2025 20:19

My mum is a recovering alcoholic and used to be an AA member. She had a good friend there who had been sober for years and years, an older man. He seemed a really lovely guy.

He died a couple of years back and my mum told me that decades earlier before he was sober, he’d come home from work early one day and found his wife in bed with another man and shot them both. He served over twenty years for their murders.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 06/11/2025 20:23

Recently split up from abusive ex I met someone known to my ils. They hired a PI to dig some dirt on him /me /us.. None found on me but what they found on him they kept from me for decades.. If they had told me I would never have gotten involved. And my dc would have been kept far away. They were utter cunts to stay silent..

Tdcp · 06/11/2025 22:02

CalmShaker · 06/11/2025 20:17

Rolf harris really surprised me, especially as he painted the queen

A few years earlier I actually bought some original art works of his and hung them on my wall, I chucked them on the bonfire in the end

Edited

When he did Animal Hospital ( I think that's what it was called) he shouted at my mother for staring into space in the waiting room when she was having our cat put to sleep. Always knew he was a tosser after that.

Charliechange · 06/11/2025 22:12

I loved my brother in law, I stood up for him when my parents didn't like him.
I thought he was making my sister relaxed and happy for the first time in years.

Then he left his computer open one night when it was usually locked, she saw it was open at pages of hideous abuse of youngsters.

Mum and Dad suggested they go to relate!!!!

DH and & supported my sister with restarting her life without him.

Ineedanewsofa · 06/11/2025 22:14

Lovely lad from previous workplace who I spoke to regularly on the phone just vanished one day - he’d been convicted of manslaughter after punching someone on a night out and killing them
Previous owners of our house left a load of shit so I listed any good stuff on the local FB page - lovely neighbour came to collect a couple of things to help out a charity he was involved in. Had a chat and a cuppa and sent him on his way with said items. Turned out he’d recently been released from prison after being convicted of raping a teenager

Tryingatleast · 06/11/2025 22:20

In college was friends with a guy, found out halfway through the year he had a deep respect for the Ira and potentially had helped them out a few times. He was all about a United ireland. Up until his huge impassioned speech where he basically grinned about riots and violence all we’d talked about was comedy and music!

JudgeBread · 06/11/2025 22:25

A customer at a shop I used to work in many many years ago. Nice bloke, always chatty and friendly. Was a regular for about 4 years. He came in one day and said we'd read about him in the papers soon. Didn't see him again after that, then a few months later found out he'd been arrested for murdering his wife - two days after we last saw him. So he knew what he was going to do when he talked to us, was planning it even. Gives me shivers still.