Words and phrases you only see in news articles and mags.

[youegg]

..and never hear people use in real life.

Tot
Gong

Oh yes, "off duty nurse".

"Stand aside as I whip my scarlet cape of and adjust my little cap!I have to be in the nurse's home by six because Matron is an absolute dragon!"

Slap up dinner

In the last few years I've noticed a lot of use of very angry, aggressive, negative language in tabloid news headlines. And I've noticed people on Mumsnet starting to use that language. I think it has a horrible effect on society. So whenever anything annoying happens to someone, we're told that they're "fuming" or "raging". I've just looked at today's online Express, and it's all "armageddon", "destruction" and "fury".

‘Partied into the early hours’ = left a restaurant when it closed.

Makes me think of plants which haven’t had enough light! 🤣

Sorry if someone has said this but ‘in time’ usually in Take a Break or Chat magazines.

”In time, I went on to marry my mum’s cousin’s dog’s groomer”.

In Take a Break there's always "One thing led to another...."

Aye and he's moved in a week later and surprisingly...turns to shit.

“Slams” for a mild criticism, and “Hails” for praising or being in favour of something. Especially hails, no one ever says that IRL. “Police chief hails new law on blah…” shut up.

And “recycles” when a famous woman (ALWAYS a woman) has the temerity to wear an item of clothing more than once.
I remember Carol Vorderman being in the headlines in the DM for “recycling” an expensive looking sheepskin coat. I think she may have worn it 3 times!
I don't know about anyone else, but I wear a coat once then chuck it in the bin 🙄

‘In time, feelings grew and one thing led to another. We moved in together and welcomed our first child just a year after our eyes had first met.

‘My mum was still bitter about their break-up and blamed me, but I tried not let this affect my little family. Sadly, Darren lost his job and things fell apart.

‘I turned to my mum for support and miraculously she forgave me. Darren moved on and my mum and me are closer than ever. I have a lovely new partner and to top it all, my mum is going out with his dad! And I’m expecting again!

’Life is good now and I feel blessed.’

As told to our reporter

Shows off her [insert adjective] curves.

Accompanied by… (ie with)

A trouser,
Curated

Troubled teen

A "cool" amount of money.
"... which he sold for a cool £2.5 million"
What does that even mean?

And the DMs obsession with house prices. "Mr Jones was just leaving his £650K family home when he saw..."
Or better still, a slightly bigger than average family home described as a mansion.
"Mr Jones was on the driveway of his £850K mansion when..."

Oh and “locked down”

Main Street has been locked down after an incident

translation: the road’s been shut for a bit

@squashyhat you are so right. I have never heard anyone say they need to brush their locks or style their tresses. If I am reading a book that refers to a character 'tossing her blonde locks over her shoulder' or 'tying her black tresses into a ponytail' I know it's not worth finishing!

@Toutafait and there's always someone 'screaming' at someone else e.g. my DD has screamed at me that she doesn't want any tea, a woman at the shops screamed at me to move my trolley out if her way etc.

X and Y pack on the PDA

ABC opens up about....

Similar vibes “a red lip”

Just the one lip?

‘Hitmaker’ - eg Ed Sheeran described as ‘the Shape of You hitmaker’.

"A source said..." usually an employee of the Royal family.

Also @BeeCucumber
i pity the poor breakfast tv reporter who has to stand outside 10 Downing Street on a cold February morning talking about the latest political news. Mr & Mrs Starmer aren’t suddenly going to saunter out in a dressing gown like Cherie Blair. You might get Larry the cat if you’re lucky. Why not go to a warm cosy studio instead ?

Showcased their new look
Soap legend for anyone who has been in a soap for 5 minutes
Fan favourite for someone nobody ever heard of
The lovebirds for some boring couple

I remember The Sun constantly describing Russell Brand as a ‘legendary swordsman’ whilst he was quite openly abusing countless women.

Oh god yes the ‘In time..’ in Take a Break. Every single story had it somewhere.

‘Whisked away’. As in ‘to Hull for the weekend’

‘Soap couple’s baby joy’

Tot when referring to a toddler-5/6yr old

Don't entertain it. Solved.