Working/middle class Christmas presents difference

[Frustratedandpissedoff]

Something I have quietly observed over the years re Christmas presents for children. Children of unemployed or working class presents tended to receive lots of expensive flashy gifts which had their parents paying off credit card debt later on. Middle class children tended to receive maybe one big present at Christmas or were gifted cash and encouraged to save up for a big thing that they really wanted.
I didn't realise anyone else noticed this until some colleagues began discussing it today. Obviously this does not apply to everybody, but seems to be a common theme? Interested to hear people's thoughts.

Have you seen the Christmas shopping inspiration threads on here?? Plenty of middle class people love to spoil their kids at Christmas. Good for them. And plenty of lower income people spend within their means and still give their kids a lovely Christmas. Good for them also.

😂😂😂 mine were like this minus the old money.

I don't know of enough parents of primary school aged or younger children to comment from recent experience.

What it reminds me of is that one of the responses of the 80s and mass unemployment was that people would make a lot of some events.

I did exactly the same. Don’t regret it and didn’t get into debt to do it

I actually think gift giving culture is fascinating. Definitely class related in this country. I married 'up' and in my H's family you have to be/pretend to be very not interested in presents, open them competitively late on Xmas day or evening, not give token gifts eg when visiting extended family. Always send late birthday presents. In my family it's very much a Xmas morning scramble and pressies for everyone (though we were always skint so not loads/massive tbh). My sil is french and she never bothers with birthdays (her own, she's got used to bothering about other people's). Not sure if that is French or family culture. Fitting in with other people's gift giving culture is all part of the fun.

this is a myth.
I’ll hold my hand up and admit when I was unemployed had my child at 16 and lived in a hostel the Christmas presents were rubbish 50p charity shop toys.
Now I’m middle class the kids presents are a lot more extravagant.

I mean think about it, what you’re saying literally doesn’t make sense

Anyone being sniffy about it is not getting the point.

Being poor is utterly shit so these parents get into debt to SHIELD their children from the realities of it, to stop them from being bullied, to make them feel worthwhile and seen, to value them.

Rich people already know their child’s place in life is secure. So they don’t have to try.

I wish people realised how poor social mobility is now. You’ve more chance of getting hit by lightning than being able to retire before state retirement age.

I know , I know this is mn and I can’t complain, but what is all the middle class posts over the last couple of weeks

no one cares any more about class apart from the working class people with money, which is how my boss worth £12m just to call herself

buy your kids whatever they want

I agree and I think a similar thing happens with clothing. I’ve seen people on here comment that more well off parents are happier to send their children to nursery in eg stained clothes, because they are more confident that no one is really judging them over it. Whereas poorer parents are trying to prevent any judgement of “can’t you even dress your child properly” so put that effort in to clean neat clothing.

A similar thing with cleanliness in houses.

I knew someone who was looking at very expensive properties and continuously complained that they were untidy and dirty. He was offended the houses weren't clean and tidy when he viewed them.

Whereas working class people were traditionally house proud and had pride in having clean homes.

I remember a thread on here from a few years ago. The thread was about painting inside the house and how people painted every three or four years or less. A few people piped up that they hadn't had their house painted for twenty five years. I can only imagine, their houses must be huge, old houses full of beautiful furnishings and the paint is the last thing people looked at in them.

My children go to private school and the parties are all the same. All class invites, some soft play/ jump street/ go ape venue with a party room, food and cake after… no high tea invites just yet! Maybe they’re all secretly on benefits 😆

But you’ve given me a few gift ideas for our upper class peers… I’m sure nuts and foliage will be gratefully received!

My husband's family are really middle class and I grew up working class. I've noticed the difference - for my family you try and get everything on the Christmas list (or as much as possible given finances). For the in-laws they have a list and they only expect one present to be given or received. My husband doesn't understand the present arrangements I have with my friends and family.

As a WC person I’m glad this thread illuminates the sheer level of snobbery some morons seem to think is perfectly ok.

It also makes me want to weep that people proudly own this as a seemingly revelatory worldview that poorer kids should be sneered at for their Christmas presents.

Shameful.

For those that think class is irrelevant these days I read this in an article in The Times this weekend:
"Money is not meaningless... it's about power, status, belonging, identity, safety...Class differences shape everything from our sense of humour to our assumptions about success, intimacy, parenting, even how we argue."

Yep. DH and I are both graduates. Live in a tastefully decorated Georgian house in a naice village. Both our DDs went to a selective grammar and had the obligatory tennis and music lessons.

However, they were always up at dawn to open their gazillion presents and were half crazed with the sheer indulgent excess.

Even now they're both adults, you can barely see the carpet in the study for all their presents spilling out from under the tree. I have zero shame and zero regrets.

Money does not equate to class though. I could win the Euromillions jackpot on Friday but it would not turn me into a cut glass accented debutante. I’d still be WC.

I actually think gift giving culture is fascinating. Definitely class related in this country.
as a foreigner I find it fascinating too, it really is very class rooted, historically wasn't it the poor who received money and gifts from the rich
and wealthier people gave each other small tokens like books or handmade gifts?
I actually think People who still cling to the concept of wealthy families hardly exchanging expensive gifts are perhaps are merely clinging to the idea of superiority, or maybe are just impersonators.

Getting more 🍿 Love a MN middle class vs working class thread 🍿

Yeeesss..

Is that you LaQueen?

(IYKYK).

Oh I agree absolutely about money not equating to class. I should have separated the quotes really. Money does bring security and safety and in some circles status, but a rich builder will still be working class.

Thinking about David Beckham getting his knighthood today, he's an extremely wealthy working class man but now a knight, has he changed class? I would still think of him as working class.

The quote about class affecting so many areas of life and attitudes is very true in my opinion though.

Odd isn't it.
There are many, many people on MN who grew up w/c and achieved degrees (any degree from any uni) and declare they are m/c because thats the definition of m/c yet a builder who worked hard at his trade, employs any number of people and lives in a desirable area with plenty of disposable cash is deemed to always remain w/c.

The UK class system is a very strange thing.

It was the party mum, who was on benefits. She was really lovely.

We are similar. In fact dc go to an independent school. However we are both working class imposters from council houses in this leafy mc village. So I don't know if we disprove op's point!

JD Vance talks about this in his book Hillbilly elegy. It isn't something I'd thought about before but he compares his Christmas's as a child to those of his wife and now their family Christmas. He suggests that as a hillbilly the culture was competitive expensive present giving whereas his middle class wife valued time with family more.