Anyone on here have many friends?

[Benny91]

As me and my partner at age 33 don’t have any if at all, just work colleagues.

Do you have many friends if at all?

And how did you meet those friendss?

Not that many but enough. Lifelong mate I barely see but is a childhood friend and important to me, a good friend from work, a neighbour I bonded with. Then various people I might have the odd night out with but I’m not close to.

I am part of a group chat of women I met online. Long story but we had a shared hobby, got chatting and now we speak most days on Wattsapp. Weirdly they are probably my closest friends.

DH has about 3 friends. He’s ND so struggles with social stuff. We don’t have shared friends.

Everyone’s situation is different. We all have busy lives and friendships just aren’t as intense as the ones we have when we’re young.

I had 2 very close friends, then 1 moved several hours away. We still message and see each other once a year maybe but it's not the same. The other turned out not too be who I thought she was, even though we had been extremely close for 6 years. We fell out a couple of years ago and that devastated me, it still does.

I have tried to make new friends since then, but I feel the loss of those 2 very close friends so much, especially as I am going through a tough time at the moment & I haven't got those friendships for support.

My circle small. A school friend says she has no friends. Wasnt a great mixer in secondary but she is happy. I have prob max 5 solid friends its plenty.

Probably 4 ride or die friends from different eras in my life.
Then same again of friends I could go to if I needed.
Otherwise acquaintances and loose friendships

Why? You just said on another thread you didn't want to engage. Why are you following me around on this forum? I thought that wasn't the done thing on Mumsnet.

I had a big birthday recently and even though it was inconveniently timed and pulled together at short notice so lots of people away on holiday i only had one friend there , the rest were neighbours / ladies from my choir / local relatives and my partners colleagues of 20 years it was a wake up call… if it had been my funeral maybe a few more relatives would have made the journey and a few more would have bothered - but still it would have been a poor turnout and it did shake me up a bit

i spend more effort on the few people i do consider friends 2 people really and I've joined a new hobby and new job which has potential to make new friends but it is a bit scary that if my partner left me or died a huge amount of my social circle would Stop id have no one

Just not surprised

What did you arrange for your birthday?

Yes well with people like you around who look for trouble and stalk people, hardly surprising.

Yes, a fair few. Only about three from my schooldays, not many from my undergraduate years, but a lot from my postgrad years (now in my 50s), various jobs, former neighbours, DS's primary school friends' parents, DH's friends, colleagues and ex-colleagues, people encountered randomly (once met someone in an art gallery and went for coffee and we've stayed friends ever since, ditto someone I sat next to at the opera), a choir, friends of friends, a Buddhism course, a therapy group.

I think you have to be open to new relationships, and to be prepared to put yourself out a bit. To say yes, rather than no to things. To invite people round for dinner and accept invitations.

That sounds manageable :)

Its def very hard. I have friends but people super flaky now wont commit or keen to keep in touch then you ghosted. Im def more reserved now

Most people seem so busy these days with work, family and housework which is fair enough. Things are so pressured these days!

I had brilliant friends in school but they moved away as I lived in a "brain drain" area where young people follow the work. Great school and teachers. I had loads of friends at work and a lovely workplace, plus plenty from voluntary work until redundancy and the pandemic meant people dispersed, and the charity closed. Most people have also retreated since the pandemic.

I have wfh ever since and moved four hours away a year ago, plus dealing with illness since last summer. Other priorities at the moment. Have hardly unpacked yet! This is a very pleasant, quiet and safe village so when things are settled....

Yes and understandable you are. Over the years you also become quicker at spotting and letting the flakes go as well as the users and drainers who only want you for their convenience.