Do teenage boys have sleepovers?

[CurlsLDN]

Hello! Would appreciate the experience of Mums who are further through the teenage years than me!

DS is 11, we are going to move house. I have been viewing houses and have various ‘nice to haves’ on my list. I keep thinking ‘oh that’ll be good if he has a sleepover’ or ‘hmm no room here for a sleepover’ - but is this even going to be much of a factor over the next ten years?

during the primary years he had his two close friends sleep over fairly regularly, but they have now all gone to different schools and found new friends so I doubt that will happen much.

obviously in late teen years he might have girlfriends or drunk friends staying over but that’s a different ball game.

in your experience, did your boys often have a friend to sleep over in secondary school?

I remember my brother having sleep overs. Not many though as they were absolute carnage 😂

DS1 now 18 - loads of mates but they never did sleepovers.

DS2 15 - has them fairly regularly. Mattress on the floor of his bedroom and they tend to stay up all night gaming or watching TV.

Yes, lots. Ds2 (15) went to a sleepover last week.

Ds1 is 17 and whilst he doesn't refer to 'sleepovers' anymore he does come out with 'mum, Ben, Fred and Steve are going to crash here after the game on Friday if that's ok? We'll be out of the way in my room'.

Far to old for sleepovers though of course 😂

My son has much less sleepovers than I envisaged or than I had at his age. But yes he does have friends to stay over.
often multiple people. We kitted his room with a pull out bed because I envisaged it most weekends. It’s not most weekends but it is fairly regular, 3/4 times a year maybe more. He’s 15. I expect it to increase tbh as he gets older and starts going out drinking because we live close to town.

Yes, for a couple of years around 13-15 or so. Mostly his best mate at the time, but sometimes another 1 or 2. I'd bung them all in the garden office which has a bed and floor space.
These days (he's 16 now) he will be invited to larger parties where they stay over, or he goes back to his girlfriends. No room for parties here.

I think it's more a practical solution to late night pick ups rather than Enid Blyton style midnight feasts after 16.

This is an interesting thread I always thought this was more a girls thing?
can’t say I’m ecstatic with them tho -
no sleep,
then mardy kids exhausted the next day
other peoples kids not being collected for hours on end
not my idea of fun!

DS15 does still, but not DS17. DS has more than ever now as they are all in a band so come to play music.

I miss those days ... the house is way too quiet now they've both gone.

Yep and my almost 19 year old still does - with the same 3 mates he’s had since he was 7. These days it involves alcohol and the odd vape along with the usual pizza and chocolate but still the same old format really.

My older one did. He’d have three or four of them over for a few days (all nice lads). A mix of sleeping bags and put-you-ups in his room. My younger son didn’t as he likes his own space. This carried on once or twice a year till they went to uni. Thankfully it never intruded on me as he had a bedroom, a gaming room and a toilet.

I never cooked for them, they’d order their own pizzas etc out of their allowances.

My ds13 does. He has a double bed and they all quite happily share. They stay up late gaming or watching You Tube and leave my cupboards looking a swarm of locusts has passed through!!!

Ds1 does, but they call it "crashing". I am told off by ds1 if i call it a sleepover because that's what girls do.

I’m a bit sad about the fact that my sons rarely bring friends here because apparently our house doesn’t have enough “fun stuff”

My DS doesn't and neither do his friends. They all say its a girl thing.

Mine did.

Wow thank you all so much for commenting. I am surprised and delighted to see that many teen boys do still have mates to ‘crash’ (not sleepover 😉)

as some have mentioned, I’ve always wanted to create a home where all the friends feel welcome and like to gather and so far that’s worked well, so I’m happy to continue that in our new home.

you are right that this isn’t the sole reason to choose a house or not, but right now I’ve got a few good options to pick from so it’s all part of picturing what the next ten years in our home will look like.
one house has a heated ‘garden office’ type building at the end of a long garden, so that could be a great teen hideaway, and another has a mid-level bed in what would be my sons room, that has been permanently fixed into the wall on a platform above the floor level bed. So it’s looking at things like that and considering whether they are an additional selling point for us - looks like yes!

noted on the advice to be the house with the food 😆 we have a new year 7 friend coming for trick or treating tonight, I’ve already stocked up on pizzas and Pringles!

I’m surprised. My eldest would have his three or four closest friends round for gaming etc and they’d stay anywhere from overnight to several days (all nice lads). They’d all go together to the local shops, stock up on snacks, order pizzas in the evening (they paid) and have a good time. Even when they got gf’s they’d still came here for a few days of boy time (all very well behaved). They did this from about 14yrs old to 22 (when my son moved out).

What is the fun stuff? I never entertained his friends, I just left them to it.

Yes, although usually they will camp so we don’t have to deal with the noise in the house.

I love this, you obviously did something right for them to all want to stay at yours like that! They sound like lovely lads and no doubt having a safe, welcoming place to hang out helped them to become that

Games consoles maybe?

We were lucky that my son had his own space and a toilet. They never came into the living room but did pop into the kitchen occasionally. I think the record stay was two weeks! It was all very informal and relaxed so we didn’t eat together or have any ‘forced fun’ from me. We were the go-to house. I encouraged it as my mum wouldn’t let me have friends over so I always wanted my kids to have a more relaxed open house.

And yes they are all lovely lads so no issues with behaviour. They’ve been friends for years.

Yes. Half a rugby team on occasion. Once I held up a fly's hair while he vomited in the toilet. Be warned: they eat a lot of breakfast.

Mine too! I remember coming downstairs one morning to 15 pairs of shoes piled up in the hall. Then all these teenagers started appearing out of the living room, the study, the family room..... They had been as quiet as anything and we hadn't heard a thing.

DS is 14 and very sociable, he’s never had a sleepover here and been to about 3 in his life.

DD is 12 and has had 3 this half term 🫠🫠🫠

Think it very much depends on the friendship group.