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Original poster

When did you know you were done having kids?

73 replies

Illprobsregretthis · 23/10/2025 19:12

Especially if you made the decision to stop at 2, how did you know you were 100% done?! Just looking for experiences of when you knew for sure.

OP posts:
unsureforevermore · 23/10/2025 19:54

I don’t know I’m done and I wish I knew think about it every day and drives me insane I have 2!

BoarBrush · 23/10/2025 20:04

Dc3 was actually 3 and 4. And just like the previous two, they were premature and was traumatic as hell. He booked in for the snip a week or two after they left scbu. I could honestly be one of those women that have 10 kids, though clearly I don't do pregnancy well.

BendingSpoons · 23/10/2025 20:20

In labour with DC2 I thought 'I'm glad I don't have to do this again'.

OneFootAfterTheOther · 23/10/2025 20:23

Always wanted an even number. Neither slept or would be put down - definitely done at 2.

Peonies12 · 23/10/2025 20:23

A few weeks after my daughter was born; I had a profound realisation that I was done. Husband was the same. Very happily OAD.

Do88byisfree · 23/10/2025 20:36

I vividly remember throwing up in the daffodils, feeling terrible with morning sickness with DC2 and saying to DH, 'I'm never doing this again.'
I never wavered and never had any regrets.

Fourthree · 23/10/2025 20:37

Tralalalama · 23/10/2025 19:45

I have 3 dc, aged 5 and under. Would love another but realistically not a good idea.

but don’t feel like I’m 100% done. Like I would not say I’m 3 and finished. I’m happy but not like peacefully completely. I still feel pangs when I see pregnant people and newborns.

Same! Mine are 4 and under. I really, really wanted to feel this elusive sense of being “done” when the youngest was born, but I don’t. I have wanted four since the eldest was born, despite hating being pregnant.

I think we have capacity - emotionally and financially - for one more. The thought of having to tell people I’m pregnant again is the main thing that puts me off.

Imabitbusyatthemoment · 23/10/2025 20:37

When I was in labour with DC2

MagicLoop · 23/10/2025 20:40

Because I never planned or considered having more than two. I kind of assume most people have in mind how many dc they want before they start, rather than thinking 'I'll start having kids and stop when I feel like it's enough'. Maybe I'm wrong though! Absolutely nothing on this earth would have persuaded me to have a third.

Pedallleur · 23/10/2025 20:45

Just knew 1 was enough. She was and a joy to be with and a credit to herself.

DarcyDear · 23/10/2025 20:49

I had an awful pregnancy, riddled with complications then baby was in NICU for 2 weeks. I couldn’t risk going through all that again as I’m still processing a lot of what happened.

RandomMess · 23/10/2025 21:08

I have 4DC, never felt done but put my sensible head on.

BobbieTables · 23/10/2025 21:12

When I was having a massive postnatal breakdown after DC 2! Would never risk doing that to myself again.

Rustymoo · 23/10/2025 21:13

My two are a year apart (same sex)and when youngest was about 3 I thought I wanted a 3rd. OH was on board. When we actually sat down and weighed up the pros and cons we decided that because the two are so close in age the 3rd could potentially be left out by their siblings particularly if they were a different sex (he’s one of three) and we’d probably have to have a 4th. So the decision was made to just have two. We’d two healthy children which is more than some people will ever have.

ineedtoknow123 · 23/10/2025 21:15

After my 3rd and i knew i couldn't go through another pregnancy or years of broken sleep without a breakdown. Partner had a vasectomy and glad about it.

BlueScrunchies · 23/10/2025 21:17

Before I had my one and only DC.
Have had zero desire for another since, which is exactly how I felt before I had her

opencecilgee · 23/10/2025 21:19

After my first

Tralalalama · 23/10/2025 21:23

Fourthree · 23/10/2025 20:37

Same! Mine are 4 and under. I really, really wanted to feel this elusive sense of being “done” when the youngest was born, but I don’t. I have wanted four since the eldest was born, despite hating being pregnant.

I think we have capacity - emotionally and financially - for one more. The thought of having to tell people I’m pregnant again is the main thing that puts me off.

Edited
Show quote history

Fck other people. Have the baby if you both want to!

my husband doesn’t have enough patience for 4 at all and I get it

PrincessC0nsuelaBananaHammock · 23/10/2025 21:40

As soon as I'd given birth to dd2. Was literally talking to the midwife about sterilisation less than 24 hours later.

Cheepcheepcheep · 23/10/2025 21:44

I wanted 3. We were just on the cusp of going for it when my parents were taken seriously ill. It would have broken me to add another kid into that scenario. Now, I’m just grateful for what I have. I still feel wistful but my mental health just couldn’t do it again with all we’re balancing.

Wafflefinder · 23/10/2025 21:45

I have two and I am done. I knew as soon as my second was born that I never wanted to go through another pregnancy. My youngest is six and the thought of going back to the baby days fills me with horror.

Snufkin88 · 23/10/2025 21:46

I know I’m done because my DH is done for one thing. I have 2 kids, a 5 year old and have a 4 month old via ivf due to secondary infertility . We have another frozen embryo which I will have to make a very difficult decision probably to donate to science soon. I have no dds. I will always wonder what it would have been like to have one I have to admit because I always imagined having a daughter. But I love being a boy mum so far and I am so grateful for what I have.

EerieDecoration · 23/10/2025 21:52

We never even discussed having more than two. When DC grew out of things we put them in the loft for a hoped-for DC2. When DC2 grew out of things they were sent straight to the next NCT sale. No regrets.

Deliveroo · 23/10/2025 21:55

I wasn’t done, but dh was. One day I was looking at them when they were 5 and 6, walking together, holding hands and chatting about big important school things, and I realised how good we had it, and that I would rather enjoy this golden age than start over with nappies and no sleep again.

frost8bite · 23/10/2025 21:57

Once I realised that it's 90%+ me doing everything!! And I'm stretched (no pun intended) I have 2DC